quit-once

Poor overall performance. Adderall made me perform poorly at all levels. Before I became a daily user, I was always in withdrawals during the work week. As my binge addiction became a daily habit, my cognition declined. Poor memory. Poor organizational skills. Always losing things. Being careless and dropping or breaking things. Couldn't remember anything. Missed appointments. Misspeaking, or saying weird, off the wall stuff. I was starting to become mentally and emotionally unstable. Trouble remembering things. Using lots of sick leave just because I could. Using work time to go the Dr. or refill my prescription. Not performing well in the mornings. Too paranoid to answer the phone. Taking lots of smoke breaks. Always forgetting things. My job is more mentally demanding than physically demanding. I couldn't afford to lose my job to a stupid addiction. Nor could I afford to lose my mind!

late Spring Snowstorm!

CONGRATULATIONS! Reading your post just made that full moon a little brighter tonight. Great approach to quitting. Welcome to our community. GOOD LUCK, CHUCK!

Perullo, Congratulations on your decision to quit. When I quit, I quit in my mind long before I ceased taking the pills. I, too, planned my quit for a few months and timed it to this time of the year for several reasons. I really think you have all of the components in line for a good and final Quit - especially that your wife is on board with it and will be supportive of you. Don't worry too much about losing your job, People have natural ups and downs in their life. People get sick, sometimes for the long term, and their work performance suffers. When I quit, It was on a Friday, and I took the following Monday as a sick day then I came back. Just have a good story lined up as to why you are sluggish or unproductive, if you think you will need to explain your loss of productivity. Good luck, I think you can do this. There are a lot of things to get in order before quitting - like cutting off your supply and getting rid of any stashed pills. Have you given any thought to these items?

Do you eventually plan to give up the black tea too? I have rarely experienced the negative side of consuming caffeine, unless I consume it in the evening and have insomnia. I have experienced caffeine withdrawal while cleansing. Throbbing frontal headache and generally feel like crap for a day or two. Let me know if you make it the full 60 days, as recommended in the book. I have yet to figure out why the consumption of coffee and tea is a major sin in the Mormon church. It is right up there with smoking and drinking alcohol and it will keep an otherwise devout Mormon from certain religious activities in their temples. Red Bull Rocks!

Ashley, You found the right job at the right time in your recovery process, and found that balance between having enough meaningful work and not having too much stress. So many people take on too much too quickly after quitting and then they struggle excessively. I am really glad to hear this new job is working out for you.

What are the purported benefits of quitting caffeine? I have always viewed it as a relatively "harmless" addiction, whose benefits outweigh the costs. Does the book "Caffeine Blues" rely on science?

Here I am! Wow, thanks for your concern everyone, especially you, InRecovery for starting this thread. It made me realize just how valuable this community really is. I have been taking a hiatus from all things Internet lately. Actually from most interactions with a screen, unless it was work-related, becoming semi-unplugged. I no longer seem to need all those welcome distractions provided by screen-type devices. I suspended my Dish Network service. I have reduced my internet connectivity. And I continue to resist getting a smart phone. For me, spring and summer are the seasons for being outside and getting stuff done. I am sure that I will re-connect during the winter months. I have been busy with my hobbies and busy with work. Busy enjoying springtime in the mountains. Busy taking on big projects that - up till now- have seemed overwhelming. I have my motivation and confidence back! Confidence coupled with clear thinking, and a strong, active body. I have kept practicing yoga and established a workout routine that I do almost daily - High Intensity Circuit Training. Granted it is not running miles per week like some of you, but is gradually firming up my middle-age flab and making me feel stronger. June 3 marked the beginning of my fourth year of freedom from Adderall and cigarettes. I was going to come back here and update my original post with a three year update, but, to me, the three year mark felt less significant than two years and much less important than completing that incredibly challenging first year of recovery. Somewhere between two and three years post quitting, my recovery has given way to regular life, with all of its challenges and ups and downs. I'm looking forward to the future, but not forgetting the lessons of the past, especially when it comes to addiction.

Welcome Back, FW! How did Rehab treat ya?

True, but if you are quitting for your daughter or your husband it won't work. You have to quit for yourself for your own reasons. That might sound selfish, but unless you can forsake everything about Adderall for a better future for yourself, the Quit will never stick.

peace of mind

The one hobby that transcended my Adderall quit was wild game surveillance photography - like that moose in my current avatar photo. Most of my other interests and hobbies changed. Adderall really changes your entire thought process, including interests and hobbies. 2014Recovery- once you finally quit the drug, then you can develop new interests, or pursue your current hobbies if they still interest you, but don't fight the lack of interest, either. I think you are at a point now where you really need to cease the Adderall consumption for good, or you will have to change your name to 2015Recovery.

I read in another one of your posts that you just kicked the cigs. A big congratulations for that feat. After almost three years, I think about smoking more than I think about taking speed. Cig smoke smells good to me, especially from a Marlboro. But smoking one is simply not an option any more.....

Jon, Did your doctor have any thoughts on the amounts of the different types of Omega 3's in the fish oil - like EPA vs. DHA? How many mg's of total fish oil or omega 3's did she recommend daily? Did you notice any differences in your mental state since taking more and better fish oils? Walnuts are great. I eat one little package of Emerald natural almonds and walnuts every day.

I just tried a different brand yesterday. Nature Made "burpless" enteric coated capsules. They pass thru your stomach intact. I had good results. I was taking GNC brand before when I experienced the fish burps.

I believe it was the fish that gave you that feeling of positivity. I have taken fish oil in small amounts since quitting. Last winter I quit taking it because I think it made my ears ring and I experienced a few "fishy burps". In March, I noticed a decline in my memory and overall sense of control and well-being. Since resuming almost daily fish oil therapy I have felt a return of my positivity and I have noticed a sharper memory and clearer thinking. Also greater confidence and better emotional stability. This post by Mike is old but still relevant: http://forum.quittingadderall.com/topic/120-omega-3-leveled-me-out/ I feel like my brain really benefits from daily doses of fish oil, lions mane and tyrosine.

Justin, That comment wasn't intended to be confrontational but that's exactly how it sounded. Instead of trying to explain where I was going, I would like to simply apologize to you. My comment was out of place within the content of this discussion thread. I've had a rough week with emotional ups and downs, overeating, and I've been struggling with bouts of (my own) asshole-ism. Please forgive me - I think I am due for a mini vacation.

Sebastian, there is one thing I want to respond to in your post...well, it will likely be 2 or 3 things. Thing 1: You took adderall for 4.5 years. How could you not become addicted? Don't get abuse and addiction confused. Abuse is when you take more than prescribed or take it for other reasons than it was prescribed for...i.e. getting things done or feeling high or treating your own depression instead of strict treatment for ADHD or narcolepsy. Those are the ONLY medically approved uses for stimulants in general. You have described many of the symptoms of addiction like stashing your pills and suffering withdrawals and having trouble quitting. And relapsing. Please re-read some of your early posts if you want to refresh your memory why you quit in the first place. If you take another drug that is considered a stimulant, your addiction will return. Period. There is no shame in having an addiction when it simply comes as a side effect of a drug taken as prescribed. (Justin, I hope you read this part too because I have never heard you discuss your adderall addiction). Thing 2: Cassie is right. You do feel more normal after two years away from adderall, although my biggest gains were around the end of my first year. And as I approach the three year mark, I can say I still experienced gains in cognition and motivation during my third year of recovery. But I am still not exactly where I want to be mentally or physically.....yet Thing 3: Seeing a shrink is the ONLY way you will be able to cure your depression and anxiety without drugs. It is what everybody used to do 50 years ago before the advent of all these psychopharmaceuticals. If you hit a dead end with the shrink, then see another, and if you don't make any progress from 2 or 3 different psyche doctors, then maybe it would be time to consider the drugs.

I wish you extreme success, FW! I will be sending positive thoughts and energy your way while you are there.

I agree that there is no perfect time to quit, but there are better times and worse times, depending what is going on in your life. AGM, will quitting now cost you everything you have worked for all semester? Nothing wrong with a well-planned quit and allowing yourself the time and space you need for embracing your recovery.

FW, You have my deepest respect for making the decision to go in-patient. Ultimately, it is the last option one has when they are not able to quit on their own. There is a philosophy in Chinese medicine that goes something like this: If you take a cure for a condition or disease you do not have, the cure will actually bring on the condition it was designed to treat. Regarding Adderall and ADHD, I found this to be true. Adderall actually gave me the symptoms of ADD, which I had never experienced before in my life. Luckily, those symptoms abated after quitting. I suspect that if you did not suffer narcolepsy before you began abusing Adderall, you will eventually make a full recovery. Go easy on yourself if you can and resist the urge to abuse Adderall before going in to rehab. It'll lessen the withdrawal symptoms and hasten your recovery. Please take it seriously, be well and be good to yourself.

Robin, what happened? moment of weakness? major binge? why? Exploring the reasons for going backwards may be the best way to move forward with your recovery. Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I try not to buy things on the internet, unless there is no other source. The great thing about the lions mane is I can feel the effects even if I only take it infrequently. Try taking 3 sometime! L-Tyrosine works like that for me, too, but if I take too much of that I get a headache.. Fish oil - I have to take it for several days in a row to notice any difference in my slow brain, and sometimes it causes ringing in my ears (tinnitus?).

Sounds like you have given some thought as to how you will go about quitting. How you plan to deal with the depression, fatigue, weight gain and anhedonia are just as important as emphasizing hydration, exercise, nutrition and sleep. Quitting and recovery are very complicated processes. Have you looked into 5 HTP as a sleep aid? I am glad you recognize that alcohol is not the solution to any problem related to addiction or sleep issues.

I have taken lions mane mushroom supplement for one year, almost daily. Here are my thoughts and observations: I have experienced better cognition (especially decision making and problem solving), clear thinking, and a better memory. It has also improved my facial recognition skills and name recall. I have prosopagnosia (moderate face blindness). Last month, I did notice my memory was not as good as it had been. I started taking fish oil again and the memory issues abated. The only brand I have taken is Host Defense and I get it at Whole Foods. It costs about $35 for 60 capsules, a one month supply. I take 1,000 mg in the morning, with 500 mg L-Tyrosine, with my first cup of coffee. I have never experienced a side effect or negative reaction. Sometimes I take 1500 mg so I can "feel" it working - it kind of makes my hair tingle like Adderall did. Dosing instructions on the box say to take 1,000 mg per day, with or without food. I just prefer to take it along with my L-Tyrosine, which MUST be taken on an empty stomach. Nothing bad seems to happen on the days I forget to take the lions mane. The box also states it is for "memory and nerve support". If you want to know more about how it works I suggest doing some Google research of your own. I did not discover it until almost two years into recovery and I believe it has really helped to re-build my brain. I gave a friend of mine a bottle of it and she just asked me to get her another bottle next time I am at Whole Foods. I have suggested it to others on this forum but have not heard much feedback from them, so I assume it is like all other supplements - it works for some folks and is a waste of money for others. But you really won't know what it does for you unless you try it.