Greg

Occasional u r a rock star. U r holding down this group. Good job on 11. I promise to get back on my feet soon. If not before the end of my internship...definitely(!!!!) after.

Ashley quit smoking too!!!!!!!

Zk - I know so many people into that show, lol. And they tried to get me to watch it. It is so awful to watch that...anyway I leave my commentary about that show for another post..I have been buying containers of ice cream and just eating the whole tub over like two days. Also I got into a bad habit of eating an entire bag of cape cod chips (not snack size) and then rinse and repeat.. That has to stop. Today I brought a healthy lunch to work and I felt like I was making a positive step.

I think in the long term...and obviously u have to let your brain recalibrate...but in the long term as long as you stick with it, you will lose that desire for that I can do anything feeling. Today I had a HUGE ass high stress presentation in front of --- and the idea of taking adderall for it was UNTHINKABKE..It would have totally made me mess up and probably make me sweat through my shirt and in my face from nervousness and have me too wired and nervous to speak straight. And I would never trust my behavior on it. I am long term clean from adderall and when I'm dragging I grab coffee as a pick me up and that works fine. I don't crave adderall for tiredness. I am actually still revved up from the presentation, lol. And I didnt need any adderall to add to what I'm feeling now. I'm three years 7 months clean and that's where I am now. I was snorting 300 plus mgs a day for years so I still suffer distinct adderall withdrawal. I'll call them adderall headaches that are extremely annoying and come and go. But those short period cravings would never drive me back to adderall ever. stick with it and things will change. You can do it,

I'm sad to report that I am at zero miles. It's no excuse but I wake up at 6 am and I get back at 7:30p and I am so exhausted to even think about running, I'm now halfway through my 10 week internship. I will be back in full force after this next 5 weeks. In the meantime, I have gained a ton of weight, I'm now on a strict portion control diet - I'm aiming for 1500 calories a day, this will not be fun but without running..this is what I got to do or before long I'll lose everything I worked hard for. I think I'm going to start bringing food to work also. It will also be cheaper that way. It stinks how hard it is to lose weight but how easy it is to gain weight.

Adderall takes away your ability to have a good nights rest which is TERRIBLE for work and unsustainable to do long term which hopefully is what a job is -- long term.

Ugh...ADHD is such a sham to sell adderall in the states. They pharmaceuticals have done a great job marketing it to doctors and the public.

I didn't know adderall was illegal in most countries. I do remember reading it was banned from Canada for a little bit? Those are staggering statistics. I bet the US consumes 90% of the worlds adderall then. I don't have the statistics but, really, adderall seems like a uniquely American drug, unique to American society and culture.

Wow this show has a great premise, tons of potential. Watching the pilot..

With the exception of ZK, I think we're all in the United States. I think ADHD and adderall addiction is a US problem. I think ADHD is part of our fast paced culture and how we as Americans view life...often times as an emergency and how we view medication. I read an interesting article the other day called why French kids don't have add http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/suffer-the-children/201203/why-french-kids-dont-have-adhd Anyway, happy 4th everyone!!!

Happy July 4 everyone!

Hungry

July 4 forecast - rain and thunderstorms.

I'm def. on it.

Everybody in the office is saying tyrant is an awesome show, I may watch that tonight after catching up on 24.

Thundering outside

The team came together sort of...but there are a lot of battle scars left on the field. We present on Monday, I think we will be fine. Now everybody is jockeying to be the presentation presenter since it is before many senior level people and an opportunity to impress (my eyes are severely rolling right now). After our presentation Monday, we will be broken into smaller groups to do another presentation and I'm already trying to figure who my worst nightmare of a group would be. Who I hope I don't get. I'm glad we have our slides out together. I am sort of feeling at peace right now, especially because the tension in the group significantly subsided today and things went more productively.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww....and US ends it's World Cup run..

Okay, today our team performed as though we were at tribal council on surviver. Perhaps the worst team day yet...power grabs, alliances and politicizing. And plenty of fighting as usual. I have had enough. I feel like people on my team have gone nuts, I spent a lot of time just trying to calm everyone down. This team thing is an intern project...we also have our independent projects with our own supervisors. If our hiring was based on this team thing, none of us would get an offer -- I think it comes through in our performance our disjointedness. We now have a few days to prepare for the real thing in front of tons of people. What a dumb mess.

Great job occasional. I'm at o.

Same here, lol. When I went to the doctor I gained 10lbs. I think our bodies are responding to not running or something weird...lol.

Go USA World Cup tomorrow!!

Ughhhh..we are in fine shape for tomorrow's dry run..NO THANKS to so many of the people on this team. That's all I'm going to say. I'm gunna stop here.

Back to work tomorrow and back to ugh my team of interns. I really hope we can pull it together and not embarrass ourselves for our dry run on Tuesday before a very senior person. I spent a lot of time today trying to outline and conceptualize a creative strategy since we do not have one. I will strangle people if they shoot it down because we are nearly out of time. I plan to act like our team is wonderful through my gritted teeth because the last thing we need is less team morale (and conflict) than we already have.

I do see what you are saying, but I really don't think there was a close mindedness about NA at all. I think there are people here not that familiar with NA but were able to do it without NA. I think it's great that you have found a connection to NA. It is another method to get clean and you should continue to go if you feel it is working. In my NA meetings I didn't find people who could specifically relate to adderall (like there were no conversations about dopamine depletion) but there was a very common connection among all drug users across many lines especially the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different outcome.