Greg

I heard voices daily, couldn't tell that they weren't real, and was a complete mental mess. The symptoms of adderall induced psychosis are similar to schizophrenia. Hearing voices is a big thing, but just delusional thinking and not being able to distinguish between what is real and what is not real. Blurred vision is definitely part of psychosis. I ended up in a psych ward twice for acting out in my delusional behavior. Once, my sister called an ambulence when she got frightened i had gone out of mind. The other time, my prescribing doctor called the ambulence when i starting rambling nonsense to her and asking for more adderall pills. I also lost my job due to psychosis when they started seeing my mental deterioration. My family didnt know about adderall induced psychosis so they assumed i had schizophrenia - which was pretty terrifying for everyone involved. This led to time in detox, huge weight gain, outpatient therapy, NA meetings, AA meetings too, a relapse and more attempts to control, and finally hitting bottom again. And this time letting go of my responsibilities and focusing 100% on recovery -- with success this time around. My sanity slowly came back after quitting. Not right away, but week by week. I slowly lost the post adderall weight gain. And i regained my ability to work and think and concentrate like a normal person. Unfortunately the repercussions of all my abuse still lingers today. years after i quit, I still get intense moments of PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) The length of recovery will vary person by person. For me i am three years into my quit and still not recovered. But that is another thing to keep in mind when you quit. But on the bright side, i have no temptation to use adderall ever again. Good luck and do whatever you can to strengthen your resolve. The little voice in your head that wants to use is so strong, especially in the beginning that you have to have enormous committment to ignore it and focus on your recovery and your future.

I just want to add having seen your other post that having to check into a psych ward should be a big wake up call. I suffered psychosis daily from adderall. It is an adderall created mental illness. You are producing too much dopamine between your synapses and losing it. My mental illness went away but it took a lot of work and focus on my quitting. You can read plenty of stuff here and that's great but more importantly you must take action and cut off your doctor immediately.

you should be terrified. adderall induced psychosis is reversible. but is one of the most damaging consequences of adderall addiction. You need to cut off your supplier, get some blankets, sleep and watch netflix while you ride out the detox. Not easy steps but essential if you want to get out of the hole you dug yourself. good luck and be strong.

oh Awesome! the 5k should be a lot of fun. And YES, you definitely have a lot of practice to put to use. Let us know the details on how it is! (btw, the nausea is slowly subsiding)

Great post Cassie and great visual tool ZeroKewl its unfortunate that the bulk of the quitting adderall process is in a state of "hardship and toil and frustration" (i will add suffering) but that is the ultimate reality to --------------> success

If you are serious about quitting and cant take it anymore. First thing is first. Call your doctor, or leave a voicemail for your doctor, tell them that adderall has become a serious problem for you and essentially cut off ties with him. Then flush your current stash of pills. Then you have to go through the required detox. Get some blankets and sleep. Or You can check yourself into detox or if you can do it on your own, try that way. Its going to be a miserable experience but you have to put yourself through it if you want get better. Cutting off your doctor i think will give you the best chance of beating this.

Cassie I own a copy of that book too. Its amazing how much it applies to adderall addicts who are quitting because we often feel like without the pills we have no motivation to get anything done. And we are also depressed. And that book is all about how to motivate yourself to get things done when you have no motivation.

Zhenka - there is no doubt in mind that adderall addiction causes depression. Any addiction would cause depression + all the chemical changes its making in your brain. I definitely had adderall induced depression.

you definitely made the right decision. If the quitting is to overbearing you can just take a semester off. As a grad student, i can see it is really no big deal to take a semester off. And then just pick up where you left off. As for motivation, I would worry more on improving your motivation to stay off adderall rather than improving your motivation to do well in school. congratulations though on getting off the evilness.

swervecity, good for you on going to detox. When I detoxed, I was under blankets and in the fetal position for a long time. A really long time and the thought of doing anything was just horrendous. Really, this is way more imporant than school. So if you have to take another semester or however long you need then do that. But without consistent sobriety you cant have a future. Good luck, and keep investing in your sobriety - whether it is detox or spending time under blankets and suffering it out. Its worth it.

Ashley, I think you are making the right decision Occasional, Good Luck on your work this week. OK, I just did 13.1 - I feel really, really sick right now. Yesterday 13.1 - Afterwards I felt so sick The day before 6 - I felt fine. Check in Sunday Guys...

Running Facts: What is the oldest age of a person to run a marathon? 86

Good job Ashley. I would just count the strictly running. I only count running miles. I did 6 today outside with lots of breaks inbetween. I would run four laps at a leisurely pace and then sit on the bench and rest and then get back up and the run another mile around the track at a leisurely pace. Not thrilled with this running session. Knowing I can do better. I would have been able to go straight through probably on the treadmill but outside I am having a tough tough Time, Is this a mind thing?? Lol. I think used to prefer running outside.

Me too. also the walking dead spinoff is official too.

Wow.Sigh. It's over. Just an amazing show.

thanks MFA, my allnighters are not real alnighters because i sleep in. i go to bed at 6:30am and then wake up around noon. But i definitely wont be hanging a white cloth on my door!!! I am so glad i stayed up late last night because i feel better prepared today. And now i can move on to preparing for another exam!

It all ends tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have three exams on Tuesday. But I will need a study break and it will be from 9-10pm watching Breaking Bad.

Check in Sunday Guys! OK. I have three exams on Tuesday and am actually pulling an all nighter tonight. And probably tomorrow. But on Friday I did my 12 miles in a single gulp. (actually i did 13.1) I knew i would have NO time this week unless i did it all at once. And also I wanted to break the psychological barrier that i could run 13.1 miles outside. I stopped to rest a couple times, and some of my laps i ran at a tortoise pace. but it got done. I have done it on the treadmill a couple times now. After i broke the psychological barrier that i could do it, it became easier the next couple times. I really owe this 13.1 mile habit thing i am developing to you Occasional, because ever since you did 13.1 in a single run, i was like i HAVE to push myself to be able to do that too. And then i kept going. I have done it maybe 4 times on the treadmill and 1 time on the track now. i dont know how long i will keep up that craziness though. Also, the SHOES have taken all the strain off my knees that had been taking a beating. Dont forget to change your shoes everyone if it has been 3-4 months. CHECK in SUNDAY you all..

MFA - I hope you are feeling better from that nasty fall and really hope you continue to run!

well, you know, that idiotic money making adderall flyer sent to all the freshmen makes adderall seem really 'stupid'. .. another great reason to not be on it.

I know. When she said this. I was like what??? Let me see that photo.

in the office where i work, there's a student assistant. and we got into a discussion about how adderall is such a big business on college campuses. She said all the students in her dorm were slipped this flyer for adderall under their door and she took a photo of it. http://www.imageshack.com/scaled/large/593/8tkm.jpg Later there was a guy i was talking to who said he was up for 72 hours straight studying for exams and i couldn't help but think he was on adderall. At school it is so easy to fall into this trap, unfortunately I had to learn the hard way.

Engrossed - I am engrossed into the second to last episode of breaking bad. And puzzling over how it will come to an end.

I don't miss how adderall ruined my life! When i think about adderall, I think about a drug that ruined my life, turned me into a drug addict, and took years of my life away from me. You are only 8 months away. That was still very early in the process for me. I still get cravings for it, especially when im tackling a lengthy and boring school assignment, and wonder how much easier something might go if I popped it, but my rational mind will totally take over and put a quick halt to that thinking. This pill turned me into a drug addict, made me hit rock bottom and sent me into rehab!! The paws i CONTINUE to deal with today is a direct result of my mind getting entangled with that adderall poison. the more distance u get from it, the more i bet you will feel like 'what was I thinking?' So keep building that time distance and stay strong

Check in Sunday everyone. We switched to Mon-Sun right? With my new shoes, legs are feeling much better, and made it to 12 with a good margin!!