Greg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YN3wYKs77k this ad is ridiculous... this woman who has adult adhd cant focus because she is distracted by thoughts of a man in a easter bunny rabbit costume getting beat up ..LOL@

Also, I may be an adult adhd skeptic, but you know, if you are really worried about your grades, most schools have academic advising department where you can get extra time on tests and stuff like that for students with ADHD. You can also find someone to assist you with notes. And tutoring.. Just don't take the stuff for school, there are other ways....

Honestly, it's not worth it. Addiction is not worth getting better grades. If i could have done it over again, I would have just sacrificed and gotten worse grades and bs'd my way through classes then to start relying on stimulants to get me through classes. Because what started as something i could control quickly turned into something I couldn't control. I was able to get away from it for one summer. But no summer after that. And if only i just didn't care so much about doing well in my classes...if only i was okay with doing poorly in my classes but without stimulants I wouldn't have turned into a full blown addict, which is what i became by the time i graduated. Be smart and just get off this stuff now and for good. Remember, it's your addiction, the irrational part of you that is convincing you to get back on them. Learn from everyone else on this site. No one, no doctor, knows better about what adderall can do to a person then the people on this site. Learn from everyone, and stay off it for good.

Same here... Adderall gave me serious heart palpitations. I went and got it checked out at a specialist. She did all these tests on me, which included having me walk on a treadmill with sensors attached to my body, and she then determined that the adderall was causing my heart to palpitate. She then called my adderall prescribing doctor to express concern about this - but that's a WHOLE other story.... Adderall gets you all jazzed up and anxious. I don't know, Maybe the palpitations you are experienceing are anxiety from not being on it? That would make a heck of a lot of sense to me. I was really nervous quitting. I bet you it will go away as you adjust yourself to being off adderall...

The important thing is you are back and welcome back. Honestly reading up on the science of addiction and watching stuff on addiction, like the series on TLC called Addicted. That kind of stuff has been some of the most helpful stuff i did in recovery. It's like at least you know what exactly is going on when you are battling it out against the drugs. You know what you are up against, and then you can plan better for it to cope with it. Which film on addiction did you watch?

that's how you do it...this one is my favorite quitting adderall song..

I also do that with coffee and am also weary of it. Not sure what everyone else thinks about drinking coffee after quitting? As much as you want? Off limits?

This one reminds me the most of This one is my favorite ..although a lot of people like this btw, how were you able to embed the video in the post? I've never been able to figure that out...

one thing id do is I would read up on what adderall is doing to your brain chemistry when you abuse it - it's kind of really appalling. What is going on with all your neurotransmitters. The idea of needing to go back to a bottle of pills over and over because a persons brain chemistry has adapted to them seems just totally messed up to me... And keep in mind, the aftershocks of quitting (that is how I describe post acute withdrawal, like earthquake aftershocks, some larger than others and at random) of it are tough as you can see. You need to let your brain chemistry restabalize. And you dont want to have to start from the beginning again. also, being a frequent poster (although not so of late, have been doing more reading than posting) , I know posting will definitely help your chances of success. Studies have shown that the more you share in NA or AA meetings, the higher your chance of success.in staying clean is. I would say the same rule applies here on the quittingadderall forums. and congratulations on tearing up the two scripts...but...you know just be careful...my take is that the prescribing doctor is more of a danger to the addict than the script itself... Anyway, as a first step, why don't you read a couple articles on the site (and do that everyday) and also get one of the books on the list that users have recommended and start reading? hang in there!

620 days! (C'mon all you others, post up your quitting time so we can all give a round of applause)

you are strong enough to do this!! You have to pull the strength from deep within yourself to conquer this. You have it in you. Don't give up on yourself. Look around at so many people here who have been in your place and have managed to end this destructive relationship with adderall...we have all been in that position where we thought it was impossible. You won't find another group of people on the web who understand the feeling of impossibility and quitting adderall. But it's not impossible. (If you can't tear up your script and call your doctor, ask someone to do it for you. That's just as good as you doing it yourself. just walk away from the adderall and be done with it. and when you have, youll feel a deep sense of relief knowing the fight is over.)

90 days is a short time. Also, that is SO true what you mentioned 'the fantasy that you can control your internal repair'. You mentioned something earlier similar which helped me to cope with the frustration. I think there are a lot of things you can do in terms of coping with depression,staying motivated and how you face withdrawal that make things easier, but there is an element that you can't really control... the chemicals in your brain adjusting. Someone mentioned in another post that their dopamine receptors were 'shot'. I mean, that's basically what we're dealing with when we get off this stuff!! The healing - It's going to go at its own pace. And it will feel unpredictable. I have had to face that..am facing that. I think understanding PAWs helps understand that. I found this video (unfortunately its only 3 minutes of it)...as this guy mentions in the video, (this guy talking in the video is a director of a rehab facility in, I think, California somewhere)

I am definitely seeing a clear trend here on what kind of books the recovering adderall addict likes and recommends...

I just wanted to update this book list because people have been recommending a lot of books in other posts and I've been keeping a mental checklist of them and searched older posts. I didn't realize there were so many! Motivational/Exercise/Food/Diet/Supplements/Brain "The Feeling Good Handbook" I Want to Change My Life Eat That Frog! "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart" "And Never Stop Dancing" The Conquest of Happiness 7 Habits of Highly Effective People "My Stroke of Insight" Unchain Your Brain Food and Mood In Defense Of Food Omnivores Dillema Eat to Live Change Your Brain, Change Your Life The Brain That Changes Itself The Mood Cure The China Study Keep adding...

I have read somewhere that it gets worse at the anniversary marks...3 months..6 months..a year...And this was also the case from personal experience. Especially three months!! I hope you feel better soon. You have just hit a big anniversary mark. So congratulations on the milestone...(but you may find yourself in the position of having to be extra strong through this!)

I think it's amazing how similar adderall addiction is for us. I also think its amazing how similar adderall addicts are. In the past when I've gone to NA meetings, sometimes I can't understand what would drive them to do drugs or alcohol, perhaps to escape at first. dont get me wrong, I find adderall addicts and addicts in general to be extremely similar in many ways. Especially in that our common sense is vulnerable to going out the window, especially in early recovery. But here, it's like it seems adderall addicts tended to be drawn to adderall because of specific things like unrealistic high expectations of themselves/societys expectations on themselves. It's like a drug that seems to draw in people with a cluster set of traits..Like Mike mentions in his article. Which is really intersting. Perhaps recognizing and dealing with some of these that Mike mentions like 'approval addiction' and 'insecurity' are an important part of dealing with addiction.I dont know... food for thought...

I would say you should do that. I often wondered what it would be like to try to give up alcohol with liquor shops and bars all around me. At least with adderall, we can cut off the relationship altogether by severing ties with our p-docs. I was reading this book called "I Want to Change My Life" by this addiction specialist who I discovered after reading his website on post acute withdrawal (PAWS) and he explained the addicts brain in a really interesting way. He said the addict has two brains: "primitive" brain (the part of brain that makes us vulnerable to relapse) and the "rational" brain (the part that wants to avoid using). He said to think of it like the devil and the angel sitting on your shoulders whispering things in the ear. If the addict listens to the 'primitive' part of his bran he will end up using.. He said in addiction recovery we can allow the "rational" brain to guide us to do things that will protect us from the whispers of our 'primitive' brain. Calling your doctor and severing that relationships I would say is one of the things you could do to protect yourself from your 'primitive brain.' In the book the example he uses is going to AA or NA meetings as something the addict can do to protect themselves from their "primitive" brains. (I consider this website my AA/NA) Anyway, the whole way he put it was very interesting. I really recommend his book. Only the last couple chapters are on addiction but he offers some interesting strategies. And also I recommend reading through his website. A lot of excerpts from his book are also on his website.

The China Study - what an amazing book...it will really make you rethink nutrition.. For those interested in following the diet...which you might want to think about after the post adderall weight bump... 1. as much fruit, vegetables, nuts, as you want in any given day... 2. minimal amounts of grains 3. no meat While I find it impossible to give up meat, i do bulk up on vegetables a lot because they keep me full. Sometimes I have vegetarian burgers, or portabella mushroom burgers...I hear whole foods has a new hit product that is substitute chicken that tastes just like chicken

Hey Serena, Good riddance to that god awful pill! Keep checking in. Its a lot easier to get through this when you're not going it alone.

I am not taking the MCATS but I had a lot of friends who were pre-med and know how difficult the exam is.. I think if the exam is tough for a person, its going to be tough either way. Adderall is not going to boost someone's standardized test score up like to a perfect score like it at least felt like was being suggested in recent news articles!!! You have tried it, and I have tried it and its just not the case. we are both living proof of that. I agree with you that it probably even makes standaradized test taking worse. I am prepping for a retake of the GMAT - I went up like 60 points (which is a significant increase for the GMAT) after I stopped taking adderall. For me, I think I was worse taking a standardized test on adderall. I think makes it difficult to move on from one task to another. i couldn't move past questions on the exam which killed me because the exam is timed. So I always ran out of time before I got to the final questions. I also think it made me overanalyze things, too. Also, I get test anxiety and it made me even more nervous... I am about 50 points away from what I need. Its within reach but may be too much of a reach. I have no idea if Ill make it there. Part of me wants to just give up and move on but I also feel like I cant give up now. But what sucks is that they have also changed my exam this month and added a brand new 30 minute section called 'integrated reasoning' which I now have to prepare for!! The one thing different off of adderall is that I have limitations on how much I can study in a day, I cant just keep taking it and pushing myself forward like a train. But, you know, as a recovering adderall addict, it is just not a big deal to me and nothing I long for or desire in any way. Thats just how life is off of adderall and I like it that way. Anyway, hang in there with the MCATs and quitting. I read a great quote about recovery...that went something like this.. Even when it hurts like hell, hold fast, the pain is the arrow coming out not the arrow going in...

There have been lots of articles in the media lately on adderall abuse...like in only the last week or so... Quit Once mentioned the front page NY Times article...I also saw a recent piece on Nightline "Supermoms on Adderall"(dont youlove how they 'package' adderall addiction?) and a Forbes piece and something on Slate. So I figured since these stories are so much about ourselves, I'd put some links up to them...I'm sure all the people interviewed in these articles would find much relief from this site...if they can find us...I actually found lots more stories in google news...here are a few of them... NY Times - Risky Rise of the Good Grade Pill NY Times Side Piece - In Their Own Words NY Times Fewer Prescriptions for A.D.H.D., Less Drug Abuse? Debate I didnt read this one yet, but bookmarked it for later... Forbes - The Questions About ADHD Drugs The New York Times Didn't Ask Slate - The tame, constricted rebellion that is Adderall addiction Nightline - Supermoms on Adderall Today Show - 'Steroids for School' (This is an older one) I was reading these articles and to me they seemed to be really missing the point about how dangerous a problem adderall addiction is and more focused on describing the 'phenomenon that is adderall for an advantage' (...the tone of the pieces I felt was like 'abusing adderall' is a new fad that is catching america by storm...) I read them all but, the Forbes piece and the 'in their own words' companion piece to the NY times article were the only ones that really sort of resonated with me. The rest I thought were just the surface of the problem. Honestly, I have gained a much, much deeper understanding from this website and reading our stories, connecting with other adderall addicts and hearing what other people here have had to say then what I got from these articles, but I figured theyd be of interest to us adderall addicts anyway...since they are about us...

Hey Freedom Wings, There is nothing wrong with you. Youre simply recovering from a very addictive drug. You were used to doing certain things on adderall and now you have to get used to doing those same things off of adderall. I read in Stephen King's autobiography how he said he came down with writers block after he quit cocaine, but word by word his ability to tell a story eventually came back. And afterwards, his writing got even more critical praise then the books he wrote when his writing was fueled by cocaine.They said his works were more intelligent and had more depth to them. If things that you used to do like composing and writing are flatter now, It shouldn't matter. Quitting should be the most important thing. Wait it out, and things will get better. (I personally couldn't string two words together after I quit, but have gotten a lot more comfortable with it since) BTW, I saw this quote on the front page of this website that Mike highlighted and thought it might apply to your situation with music. I used to over think everything I did and now I just do what I feel is right. I am a performer, a singer and a dance instructor, and I feel music differently off adderall. I feel like I can dance with my body and not my head. -Heather Hang in there!

it took me roughly two weeks to get through an abrupt effexor withdrawal..when the electrocution thing stopped i knew I was home-free. Only two weeks! Withdrawal was just incomparable to adderall withdrawal! tinybuddha, I am surprised doctors are not more aware of adderall/amphetamine withdrawal...If they just googled adderall withdrawal they would find a million things on it. (I dont know how I stumbled on this, but I found it really It is a documentary all about big pharma and their crazy relationship with prescribing docs..it will really make you rethink the doctors office).

hey newdaydawning, It sounds like you will be in a position of minimizing work and obligations which will be helpful in beating this. You might want to work up a burst of enthusiasm to quit and then just take one big breath and call your doctor and tell them you have a problem and to stop prescribing it to you and then flush your remaining pills. OR simply ask your son to do it for you. I'm sure he would love to do that seeing you addicted like this. You may want find yourself most motivated to do this when you are really hating these pills and what they are doing to you, like when you are withdrawing from them or running out or whatever. But anytime really is a perfect time to call your doctor and cease your supply... Ok, you will feel horrible after doing so for a short while, but boy will it be worth it in the long run. Once you cut off your supply you cant really keep your addiction going. I realize a lot of us have done something like that on the site and are clean. Its a really effective way to quit. All it takes is just one burst of enthusiasm to get rid of your stash and supplier. And it will pay off..You can do it.

There is a culturally accepted stigma attached with adderall. I am certain most of us would never have gotten hooked on it if we thought of it as like "legal meth" ... but most of us probably thought we were taking something harmless to treat "Adult -type ADHD"..formerly known as ADHD...which was formally known as MBD...which before that didn't even exist. If I had any idea how addictive this pill was I may have been scared off from taking it. I think by the time I realized it was so addictive it was too late, I was already addicted to it. It didn't take me long at all to get addicted to this stuff.