Greg

I dont remember being awake very much during the first two weeks...wasnt for a while before my sleep returned to more normal.

Ive lost days rummaging through things, tearing apart rooms for adderall... I was so attuned to adderall, Like one time, a pharmacist accidentally filled my bottle with five fewer pills then he was supposed to and I when I got the bottle, I instantly noticed. I asked her to recount. She reluctantly did, and sure enough I was right. She had filled my prescription short by a few pills. was really attuned to all things adderall...

Oh god. I remember that giddy feeling of going to pick up adderall. I would be in such a good mood. Ian's when I got my pills I would be like I was carrying a winning lottery ticket or something. So giddy. It was weird because after I quit, when I would pass by pharmacies I would still get a rush of excitement. I think it's worth noting to everyone on this forum that the majority of the long timers on this site (if not all of them) had doctors access removed from them, either themselves or other people for them. Now for all of us, it was horribly scary at first but look now. So, for people who have not quit, I mean look at the track record of removing doctors access.

Awesome analogy! Thanks for sharing.

I remember when that was my existence...smoking cigarettes, ruminating and pacing from room to room. That's what I did all day. It's not an existence. You are addicted to the rush of dopamine between your brain synapses that pill releases. It's not really about the 90 minutes of productivity you get from it, it is about the 90 minutes of invincible feeling it gives you -- DOPAMINE. A feeling you can start to get over and begin to let go of as you remain off the pills. But you will be stuck in the cigarettes, ruminating, thinking lifestyle until you quit for good. Anyway, hang in there. Life slowly gets better after you give it up.

Amazing!

K, lets all stop responding to this post. He is trolling big time..(pushing people's buttons for a cheap laugh)

Krax, if your wife tells your doc, your struggle will be over. You won't have to get her to convince you to not Refill anymore. It won't be an option. You'll have set yourself up nicely. And we all know how dangerous that open window is...

Awesome MFA! When I come across random pills which has happened about three times, I grab it with a tissue and dispose of it like a squashed insect ... This moment has made you stronger..

Be patient. You're used to doing things all jazzed up. You'll get used to doing things in a regular way again. And the anhedonia gets better.

Congrats on some serious running!

Neversaynever, I know exactly what you are talking about!!!definitely caused by adderall!. It was really bad after I quit, and got better but didn't go away. I'll have it when other people are not around but when people are around I can control myself. I really hope this isn't here to stay but it's been awhile. I wonder what is going on chemically that causes this...

Yep. It's the book the movie is based on. The Ellen burstyn character is hooked on Dexedrine. I just basically read her storyline and skipped the other parts .there are scenes I identified a little too closely with for comfort. really powerful story about prescription pill amphetamine addiction.

I heard Bill W and his wife were homeless and slept in 51 homes of different friends over 2 years while they spread the message of AA and big book to alcoholics everywhere. and finally the wife of one of the many alcoholics getting help from Bill gave them that house which they lived in the rest of their lives. Neversaynever, That must have been a very cool trip!!

For real. I thought adderall was the quintessential drug for being successful at work. But these Percocet addicts take it for the same reasons we take Adderall like to be successful at work. (I guess alcoholics drink to be successful at work too. its just everyone has a different poison of choice) Then i was reading all theae threads on how percocet acted on dopamine receptors and i was like oh man, forget this. I have worked so hard to let my dopamine receptors repair themselves I am not going to mess up any of it just for the flu. It's pretty scary huh? Definitely read about benzos...the threads are scary enough to scare anyone off any medication. And I know you've been weary of the benzos you take. Taking more Percocet was just not worth any risk.

I saw this online and thought about everyone on our forum who talks about the adderall weight rebound Basically you bet 150 of your own money that you will lose 10 percent of your body weight. If you lose 10 % in 6 months they will give you 300 bucks so you end up making 150 bucks. http://www.healthywage.com/weight-loss-contest http://www.healthywage.com/contest/Ten_Percent_Challenge/tellmemore Of course if you don't lose 10% of your body weight you are out 150 bucks. Anyway, this is an interesting monetary incentive to lose weight. There is also a BMI Challenge.

Ashley if you google sober recovery and Percocet you will come across a forum just like ours. It is like an parallel universe of people like us. They are all saying the same things we are saying, only they are talking about another drug...Percocet. After reading a couple threads, I couldn't honestly continue that stuff. I am just resting a lot but for sure no more Percocet.

, I am deleting my early post about wanting to continue taking Percocet for flu symptoms and replacing with what is hopefully a better post. MFA, i can confirm to you I'm not taking Percocet anymore. I went on a bunch of message boards filled with Percocet addicts and the stuff I read is terrifying so I think I'm just going to stick with Advil or actually perhaps nothing from here forward.. I think the worst of my flu is over. I don't even want to risk the possibility of another addiction, and I had no idea Percocet acts on dopamine pathways either, thanks everyone for words of warning..

Congrats on 9 months Ashley. Of course my timeline as you well know wasn't anywhere near as fast as Quit once so don't be discouraged. I think it depends on how PAWS hits us in the aftermath among other considerations.

Yup...agreed. Sometimes I run to Dunkin Donuts for a large ice coffee to get started on projects I just really don't want to do, which is what I'm right about to do now. and Even though I have the flu and should be in bed.

you are definitely welcome on these boards. I was a hardcore Ritalin abuser prior to Adderall. The experience, the struggle is the same. What you said makes a lot of sense. I was just thinking along those lines earlier today. Your brain is conditioned to 1. pop Ritalin then 2. start working. Working is like a conditioned reflex to taking the pill. So after you commit to stop taking Ritalin, that's when you begin to break the destructive conditioned reflex response. You come to realize there is no pill to turn to anymore to get work done. It's just you. When you need to get stuff done its all you. Anyway, that's how I've been experiencing the psychological change in me as I've stayed clean. I think when you really start to be confident in and understand you can only rely on yourself to get things done, the big psychological change happens. People say these meds are more psychologically addictive then physically addictive like other drugs, and I believe this conditioned reflex is what's so psychologically hard to break.

There are so many people who do that. And I often wonder what happened to them. I am assuming a lot of them couldn't do it or gave up or whatever...And then some just stay with the site and you know those people are going to be okay. i dont know...too pessimistic?

. I agree A lot of us have gone through this quitting process when it all seemed so impossible, we are still standing and have become stronger for it. There is no reason why you steve can't do it either. Just keep hanging in there.

Also, A couple words of advice. 1. Go as easy on yourself as possible. 2. Even when it hurts so bad, know that what you are doing is 100% necessary and worth it in the end. 3. Read tons of books on adderall and addiction recovery. Check an older post for a comprehensive book list. On speed is a great book to start with.

Congratulations on going cold turkey, I really think you made the right decision. I cannot believe your doctor had no issues doling you out 180mgs of adderall a day. And mixing the extended release with the regular! That is mind boggling to me. ( Couldn't he lose his license for that?)