ashley6

Sky, I agree with you; however this was first-hand from her mom. I don't like gossip, but I hope in this case I'm wrong. Unfortunately, the story came first-hand from her mother. My mom is really in tune with this stuff after dealing with my addiction. Like I said, I hope I'm wrong.

I was just talking to my mom about how a friend of hers daughter is 16 years old and is constantly tired. They did bloodwork and found nothing wrong, so they said, "we're going to put you on adderall." This girl is a straight A student who didn't complain of ADHD, and they put her on adderall because she gets tired. I know I was responsible for abusing adderall, but it sickens me how easily doctors prescribe this stuff that has the potential to ruin lives. I know I'm preaching to the choir, just had to get that out.

Your responses are always appreciated I agree with Krax. Sometimes I feel like I'm not far enough along in recovery for the amount of clean time I have, and that post was just an honest assessment of how a lot of us feel at times....if not just a reminder not to get overly confident about recovery. Adderall is the fucking devil, dude....agreed!

Yes, I already read it....kind of addicted to this site

Why'd you delete that post?

Lea, I haven't gone to AA regularly, but I have gone, even gotten a couple chips. I just couldn't bring myself to say "alcoholic," because I'll drink here and there, but alcohol isn't an issue for me. My counselor, who is an AA old timer, knows what I do, and she told me it's kind of a personal decision. She said I absolutely deserved the chips because I've abstained from my DOC, and that was enough. I guess many addicts have personalities that they are addicts with any mind-altering substance. I respect AA and think it's a great place for addicts of any kind to get/stay sober. That was my only issue with it. I didn't want to feel like a fraud.

Occasional, It's amazing that people like us (anxious by nature) would even like adderall. It caused so many things to be filled with paralyzing fear. That's wonderful you were able to do that being calm and collected. Day 22....yaaay! Keep up the hard work.

Wow, that's interesting, InRecovery. Crazy how abusing that shit fucks with almost every aspect of life. I'm glad you were fine....calms my nerves a bit.

I'm facing another fear that adderall held me back from for so long: flying. When I was younger I flew to Brazil and Norway a couple times without issue, but as speed came into my life I was too jacked up with anxiety to face anything that made me uncomfortable. People always say "your chances of dying in a car crash are more likely than a plane crash." The funny thing is, while I'd prefer to not be in a plane crash , my fear is being confined where I can't escape. I'm doing this, though! Plane ticket is booked to visit my family in Houston in a couple weeks. It's funny how the smallest things mean a lot to me in recovery, because they're in fact, not small to me at all. Finally feel like I'm starting to live life again!

Krax, I loved Flight. You're right about presenting it with empathy....very moving.

It's sick and sad, but absolutely normal because that's addiction for you. Addiction is a deceptive asshole. Stay strong, fight through it!

I've had two people who have seen Flight that know my story suggest it to me. I'm going to see it tonight. I know it's not a feel-good movie, but it seems like it's supposed to really lay out the power of addiction? Has anyone seen it yet?

MFA, You've been working so hard on your recovery. Virtual hugggsss. We all know how badly you want this, so you'll get there. There's a lot of pressure on you in early recovery. If I had that kind of pressure, I can almost be certain I would've relapsed....still worry about starting a "big girl" job and doing it on my own....a day at a time. You want this sobriety, so I have faith you will do it. You're stopping yourself from a full-blown relapse and that's so important. All you can do is learn from this and whatever you do....don't beat yourself up. I mean, if we're not beating you up, you definitely don't get to beat yourself up. We'd be the first ones to make sure you make yourself accountable, but you're already owning up and doing that all by yourself. Hang in there!

I specifically remember my post entitled "90 days and feeling depressed." There is definitely something about that mark. You expect to feel better, but unfortunately it doesn't happen like that. Recovery not being a linear process has been one of the most useful tools for me in that I don't expect too much, and I have to let it take it's course.

I know the feeling is easy to miss, but follow that thought up with one of the hundreds of negatives adderall brought to your life. "I miss adderall right now, but I don't miss being psychotic." Just an example. Romanticizing it is dangerous....hang in there, woman

I personally had bad experiences with pills that have me energy. I got some GNC energy pills awhile back, and I felt adderallish. It freaked me out....tossed those bad boys.

Falcon, I'm so glad you've had 2 good days in row! You truly deserve it after the hard work you've put into your recovery. Way to be patient! It really is a virtue, especially in recovery. I think hiking has a lot to do with it. Getting your body moving can feel oh so good!

Good riddance is right. I still haven't had this happen. I'm not really surprised considering I was chucking out $5-7 a pill....kept close tabs on them. It was pathetic. Hope the moving is going well!

Thanks for the suggestion.

Kylechaos, I have to give you props. It's amazing what working out can do in terms energy levels, dealing with stress, and motivation in general. I'm normally dragging by the end of the day, but after a solid run (some walking in there) I felt so energized and in such good spirits. I couldn't have done long runs in early recovery, but even short walks are great for the mind and body. Loving those endorphins.

I unfortunately didn't know until years down the road how bad benzos can be. Research scared the shit out of me. It's a lesson to us that we have to really aware of every single medication doctors try to give us. Also, shame on them for not making these things clear.

I just watched the first two episodes. I'm well on my way.

I've never watched it but have heard so much about it....need to give it a shot!

Sky, I think it all depends on the person, that's why I said it depends on your triggers. It sounds like you had an aha moment that made you decide to quit. A lot of addicts aren't like that, although I wish it would've been like that for me. It took like 100 aha moments and for my life to fall apart pretty much to even decide to quit. I'm not saying yours was easier than mine, I'm just saying we all have different recovery experiences.

Well, look at it like this. You're being protective of your recovery and that's a healthy thing. I was the same way in early recovery, I freaked the fuck out around people who I knew were on adderall, still kind of do. I saw a guy popping an adderall at work, and I was a mess for like 3 days. Is this friend a good friend, meaning she won't give you any adderall, NO MATTER WHAT? Everybody has triggers, so just figure out if this is a trigger for you. If so, you should be concerned, but if not, go and have a blast!