ashley6

I know it's tough. It was so rough for me, but I think I slept the first month away. You would think taking a stimulant away would make you so tired. A few people on here mentioned having insomnia when quitting, so I guess that happens. I hope you get some sleep tonight. You made it through day 3. All you need to focus on is getting through tomorrow. Then tomorrow the next day and so on. Take care of yourself!

Isn't it crazy how when using finding pills is like hitting the jackpot and when clean it signifies all things evil ? I guess it makes since, just a little ironic.

Ohhh the rummaging through things....can't even count the times. Way to go!!! That's huge!

Aw, I wish I could de-program that out of your head. It sounds like such a struggle Thank you for the sweet compliment! How are you doing on day 3??

I don't know if I fit the typical female mold, because I don't have body image issues, but I sure feel for you ladies that do, and I completely understand why you would. I just think putting adderall (being thin) and looking good is a lie. I was my smallest right before I quit, probably a size 0, and I looked absolutely sickly....bags under my eyes, unhealthy looking skin, thin hair, and clothes just hung off of me. I look back at pictures now and cringe. I'm not downplaying what society has done to women wanting to look tiny, but on adderall it makes you look sickly more than anything. I couldn't squeeze my butt into size 3 pants yesterday, but dude, I'm not acting like a crack head, at least I'm saying all of this because I think how we're viewing adderall as making us look pretty is wrong and dangerous.

Wow, those feelings of lighting up with anticipation are uncomfortable for me, because I felt that way every single time I was getting my prescription....every single time for 7 years. Quit-once, I would've hightailed it out of there too. It's nice that your friend apologized for it. It kind of just goes to show how unaware we are of people and things around us when that prescription comes up. I once had my friend who had newly quit adderall ride with me to our dealer's house. How could I have done that to her? Because I lacked empathy of anyone around me. I later apologized after quitting and told her I should've never put her in that position. Motivation, Your post is so spot on to how I was. People having feelings and wanting our love and attention while we're on adderall is just annoying. How self-centered addiction makes us.

By the way, this thread has 41 posts since yesterday. You people are amazing!

Searchingsoul, I'm so impressed with your honesty and candor. You seem to really want a better life for yourself, even if that's a foreign concept for you. Seriously, you are blatantly honest about how you're feeling and are putting your trust in people you met yesterday....I say "met," but you know what I mean. You've made it through day 2...congratulations! I was paralyzed by fear when I decided to try to quit adderall....one day at a time! Let's call it what it is. Fucking terrifying. Hang in there. It does get better.

The fact that you used the term "using meth responsibly" or something to that effect immediately turned me off to what you said. Some people can use adderall responsibly, but you're barking up the wrong tree. We can't as members of this site. I know I should just leave this alone , because nothing we say is really clicking with you, but I pray that you're not an addict someday, and have someone taunting you in recovery. That's pretty low. There are plenty of other sites for you. We're not it.

I was on Wellbutrin awhile back right after quitting adderall. It made me really anxious. I have anxiety anyway, and I do drink a lot of caffeine. I didn't tie the caffeine and Wellbutrin combination to the anxiety, but it definitely could exacerbate it.

I've thought about that too. What if I came across a random pill? I kept track of those things like it was my job, but I agree sprint like hell to the toilet and flush.

I haven't figured out how to delete posts from my phone...anyone? I can do it on the computer, but I can't figure out on my phone.

I agree with sky. Live by your own words. You help all of us out here so much. Good job getting out there...keep it up!

No, what is Nike Plus? I want it to become a habit, a healthy habit. It's awesome you have to hold yourself back from overdoing it, I think.

No, I don't. What is it? Today I caught myself wanting to just go and go and go. I've realized I needed a replacement from my addiction. I caught myself think

I forgot one thing, and you knew we'd be asking. Is that a stray pill or do you have a stash anywhere? Today was too close. You should flush any others as well

It sounds like you might have learned from your mom to put on a happy face and not express your thoughts or feelings....just put on a facade that all is well. I'm sure she loves you, but it's probably denial that she has a daughter in pain. Good parents want us to be happy and prosperous, but unfortunately sweeping issues under the rug is highly ineffective. Hang in there, girl.

Yaaaay! Love it!

Falcon, You mentioned that little orange pill. No one besides a pill addict would understand the relationship we have towards orange pills. Today I took half a valium, and it looks just like adderall. It's hard for me to even look at them. I checked, double-checked, then triple-checked that it wasn't adderall online by the imprint, but I don't like taking them, because it's too similar looking. That little fucking orange adderall pill makes me shudder.

So proud of you for not taking that pill! It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself right now so early into quitting. Do you have to have a job right away? Can you give yourself a break, just as if you were recovering from being physically ill? In my mind, it's the same thing. You're recovering....just from an addiction. Do me a favor and go flush that pill. That was a close call. You are an awesome person, who I think of as my friend, and I'd be really sad if you didn't keep coming here. Hang in there!

Searchingsoul9, Girl, you came to the right place. I never, in a million years, thought I could give up the adderall. I've realized after 9 months off of them, all I was doing was masking my anxiety and depression, although all adderall really does is intensify it times 100. It sounds like you have a lot of issues with anxiety and depression, considering you've abused your body with not only drugs but an eating disorder as well. I truly feel for you. Have you seen a therapist? Cutting off the adderall is key, but you're going to be left with yourself and your self-destructive thinking. We can change our thoughts, but I've found counseling to be of so much help, because I really didn't know, and still working on, how to be content with me....sober me. Life is so much better adderall-free. Don't think about the road of recovery ahead of you...focus on this minute, this hour, then this day of no adderall. I don't think I could have had an adderall stash and gotten off of them, but some people like sky can....to each their own there. If it's calling to you, you're putting yourself in dangerous territory. A lot of people have to hit rock bottom before quitting. It sounds like you might be there. You can do this. AA says "one day at a time," and that's been something I've lived by. We're all here for you. I hope you choose a better life for yourself. That adderall hell is not it!

So, I got a gym membership this week. 4 miles on day 1 on the treadmill and 4.5 today. Yeah, I walked some, but it felt goooood! Only 391.5 miles to catch up with you, Kyle

I want to use this as my motivation. Damn, good work!!!

I had no interest in anything for the first 3 months after quitting, and I'm not being dramatic. It gets better, but try your best to accept that things are just going to feel extremely boring for awhile.

It's normal to think about it all the time since it defined your life for so long, especially in early recovery. This website helps to reinforce the countless negatives of adderall, rather than letting yourself romanticize it, in my opinion.