Doge
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Posts posted by Doge
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ive put whippping cream in coffee before and its amazing. butter i've never tried though, that sounds weird, is it good? probably a dumb question obviously you like it or you would never do it...
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i think even just this little bit of cardio has been really good for me today. the last few nights i've had severe insomnia, not being able to fall asleep at all, until like maybe half an hour before i have to get up. now it's only midnight right now and i feel like my head weighs a tonne. hopefully gonna go sleep like a brick for 9 hours!
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its definitely true. there was a saying somewhere.... what's the difference between a rich drug addict and a poor drug addict? one goes to rehab, the other goes to jail
and yeah the media is extremely dishonest, it makes me so frustrated some times
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It's not always rainbows shooting out of our ass and magic rays of sunshine, lol. I try to convey a very positive message of hope on this site, and usually I am pretty happy most days, but not ALWAYS. It's life. There will be good and bad days.Yeah this is a big thing that came up at some point last year. Whenever we have good days, we tend to eagerly come here to share them with friends because we're really happy and excited about it. Then when we have shitty days we tend to be more quiet. So this creates the false impression to some people that everyone else on this site is doing awesome and enjoying every second of their sobriety, and then they wonder whats up and why they aren't feeling like that.
I think we made a bitch/moan thread somewhere in one of the subforums for doing precisely the opposite. Posting when we were feeling shitty and talking about how shitty our day was going. It's therapeutic in its own right, but it's a good way to dispel the myth that if you aren't just thrilled to be alive every day of recovery then something must be wrong with you.
Keep your chin up. You are tackling two extremely hard challenges at once! Just keep your eyes looking forward and things will slow and surely get better. I promise you are going to emerge from this so strong if you just keep going one step at a time and don't ever look back.
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I did the Color Me Rad 5K on Saturday. So much colorful fun! I didn't run the whole thing, but I kept up a good pace the whole time.
by the way I googled this and it looks really fun. did you paint yourself too? haha
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yeah this cannot be emphasized enough. the way you describe your xanax use is exactly how my adderall usage started. I would give anything to be able to go back to that point armed with the knowledge I have now.
i realize it's not like you're just doing this for fun. you've got a problem that you're looking to find a solution for. there are so many simpler solutions and coping methods that you should explore first. you definitely don't want to be playing around with that stuff, especially at your age.
remember how much adderall took from you. dont give the leftovers to a new drug!
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1.4 miles today! It's not much but I definitely broke through that first threshold, and got the endorphin buzz I've been wanting so badly.
Feeling really lightheaded and happy right now. It's the cure it truly is-
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day 45 almost complete! just a warning you guys i'm probably going to change my name to some new stupid thing again when i hit 60 days lol
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of the things you listed, I think 2) is something I've never really thought of quite like that. it's a nice way to put it
and I think spirituality is a great thing that is very helpful for staying hopeful. many people have different beliefs but they all seem so share a lot of the core tenets that are so important.
sounds like you have developed some great coping strategies. that's awesome!and yes being alone during this struggle can at times be depressing, but it has its advantages also. having support can be great but i think it can also add pressure to "be a better person" during recovery than you really feel capable of being. either way there are pros and cons to both situations
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as an aside. i spent a semester in law school actually but i dropped out after the first semester becuase i hated it. I had never heard of adderall back then, but i remember hearing rumors of people selling ritalin to get through the insane amount of law readings and endless case studies, and i remember not understanding why... oh to be that naive again.. im really lucky i didnt start my adderall use back then or else i'd certainly be a lawyer right now. a really shitty, strung out, drug addicted lawyer. it just wasnt for me but adderall would have made me feel like it was the most important thing to me
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that's fantastic. i definitely remember you and your tapering journey
congratulations keep at it and keep us updated. i'm really glad that the tapering is working for you-
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that's great that you were strong and resisted temptation. but remember next time might not go so well you can only handle so much. protect yourself in advance from these dangerous situations
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5K? I thought people in the US were allergic to the metric system? hehehe
Seriously though 5K is my personal record, and it's a really magical distance for me. I run really slow so it takes me about 40 mintues or so to run that far (though currently I still have to work up to it again).
but the head rush and euphoria that come afterwards..... omg it's unbelievable. i used to just want to melt into a puddle on the floor right there on the spot
and its REAL and it just gently fades away over the course of about 30 minutes with no crash or negative feelings afterwards. just pure and natural bliss. I miss it so much. I'm promising myself to be pulling those off again soon, hopefully a couple months from now.
it's the best motivation for not smoking anything (cigarettes/weed, etc.) because you NEED your lungs to be at their bestWHICH reminds me. tonight is run #2, wish me luck!
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If you do decide to break down eat something really unhealthy, force yourself to eat a bunch of vegetables (raw spinach leaves are the absolute best if you can manage it) immediately before hand. It has the dual purpose of
a ) filling you up a bit so you don't overindulge as much (this is pretty intuitive)
but more importantly, and less people know about this
b ) (bro-science) it basically stabilizes your blood sugar levels and revs up your metabolism, so that when you do eat the junk food, your body incinerates it like an engine rather than storing it in places you dont want
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I used to think of my inner addict as some sort of fun loving, rule breaking, live in the moment, don't care about the future or consequences, irresponsible side of myself.
But now, particularly after my most recent (AND FINAL) descent into insanity I believe with all my heart that it's a demon who wants to kill me and everything good about me.-
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i'm a little late coming into this thread.
But yes I smoked a lot of weed during early (first few months) recovery. no it doesnt help with motivation but it helps you just have something to look forward to and is much better for you than drinking (at least I think)
since my relapse happened, I went back to weed to use it to help me get through the hard part. but I have pretty much kicked it now. it's a terrible habit honestly, but if it helps it helps. and fortunateley it is just that. a habit. it's not really addictive.
I was a heavy weed smoker for 12 years. when I quit cold turkey, I had a few days of absolute misery and then boom, it was over, just like that. no withdrawals nothing. it's just a habit which is harmless in comparison to stimulants. so if it helps you I say go for it just don't let the cops catch you with it! (obviously)
Again, this is way late but I can't resist chiming in here because I am pretty obsessed with nutrition and diets:
I am on a LCHF diet, I suppose. I have to limit carbs so that my body doesn't make small particle lipids. It is like Atkins, but with vegetables. I am lacto-ovo Paleo...lol.The Atkins diet (which is one of the most well known LCHF diets) demands that you have a VERY large vegetable intake. Atkins diet is often misunderstood and confused with it's "induction phase" (critics of the Atkins program like to perpetuate this confusion, go figure) during which participants are encouraged to consume lots of fatty meats like bacon, sausage, steak, cheese, and everything has a lot of butter. It's not lifestyle that is sustainable as it causes quite a bit of wear and tear on your organs and digestive system, instead it's meant to kickstart your metabolism into burning fat, and is to be used as a transitional tool to get yourself into the program. Nobody is intended to stay in that phase for very long.
But that aside, I think paleo (and pretty much all of the variations that I've read about) is the way to go anyway. It is the way we were meant to eat, and our bodies run so much better on it. So I think you are doing the right thing. I've tried Atkins in the past and I just couldn't handle the side-effects of being in a ketogenic state (when your body burns fat for fuel instead of carbohydrates).
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this is my second day of rest after that short run i mentioned. I want to take it easy and not go too hard on my back and hips just quite yet, so i've decided to run once every three days for now. looking forward to my next run tomorrow.
maybe I'll make it two miles!
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i can finally look at cigarettes and see them for the disgusting sticks of death that they are rather than some sort of treat like candy or champagne to indulge in to excess. I want nothing to do with them ( except maybe the odd one when im drinking but of course this is when I will be craving adderall the worst too, so the two things are probably no coincidence, and why us recovering addicts should be very careful with alcohol )
i know its been said already but the cigarettes to me were probably worse than the adderall itself
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you should be very proud of yourself. buy yourself a present!
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wow thats longer than i will ever run probably. that's amazing. I'd be thrilled with myelf if i can run for 5miles one day though though
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Made it 1 mile! hehehe
Felt good to get going again, but really didn't give me the real head rush that I used to get once I break the 2-3 mile mark. Oh well, something to look forward to I guess.
Thanks for resurrecting this thread LILTEX, I have been meaning to get back into this (I even went out and bought a really expensive pair of shoes last week to motivate myself) but have been putting off getting started. This was just the push I needed.
I'm really excited to get going again! I even had a dream a couple nights ago that I was some sort of super athletic soccer player that no goalie could handle, then I woke up to realize I was still my fat self LOL.
Maybe we can start some sort of 25-50-100-300 mile challenge threads?
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you just made me so happy
the thought of those little pricks being flushed down the toilet warms my heartI can't remember if you said you were a binge user (like myself) or if you used the prescribed daily dose, but I look back and realized that every binge could have been the one that killed me.
you just saved yourself so much pain (or even your LIFE!!!) remember that. GOOD for you!! it's the best thing you could have done
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Traffic fluctuates. Some days it's almost like instant messaging. Other days you wait a week for a response. But the response always comes. Sorry to hear that the meetings didn't go well. Maybe try another one?
And I believe with all my heart that you can be happy sober, just not 100% of the time.
Happiness in some sense really just boils down to chemicals I think. And we've all fucked our brains up with this drug and healing takes some time.
Eating right and exercise are two of the most important things we can do to help our bodies and brains. They will thank you for it (in the form of happiness).
Stay strong and have patience you will get through this!
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I've been thinking about this all day, I want to get my running shoes back on.
I smoked a lot of pot in early recovery (though last time I didnt stop until the 5 month mark) but decided to kick that habit again a few days ago, which naturally makes cardio much more pleasant.
Gonna lace up and see how far I can run tonight, will post back!
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your choice, but no drug is ever a problem, until it is
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Lying to my boyfriend of 4 years about my addie use (recreational)
in General Discussion
Posted
You need to find a way to remove the option from your life. Explain to your supplier what is going on and that it is killing you (because it absolutely is, you are headed for an early grave but it's not too late to quit and be fully recovered before 30). But you could easily continue down this path. Think how fast the past few years have felt. That speed will accellerate if you continue what you are doing.
The first step I think is to clarify to yourself just how bad this problem is. Because I remember when I was in the thick of my usage, I would convince myself it wasn't that bad. But it's poison. Pure poison.
The second step is to cut yourself off, and reach out for help. You have to cut yourself off somehow, because as you know the cravings are unbelievable strong once you stop for a while.
You can do this!!! And we are here for you!
EDIT:
Don't worry, you aren't doing anything malicious so it's not a problem. We get you are speaking from your heart.
There have been a couple people that have registered on here, posing as recovering addicts, and then start pushing products on us to try and prey on the vulnerable and this really hurts our feelings.
But from reading your post I didn't get the slightest inclination (and I'd imagine nobody else could either) that you're one of them. Speed is a vicious evil thing and causes so much pain.
Don't worry. Everyone here knows that when people reach out for help here they are hurting and in a lot of pain. We've all been there so we understand. We're here to be your support network to help you get through this.