[At the dreaded 3 month mark.. sex drive? Where Art Thou?]

Adderall produced a boost in sex drive for me (while I was on it).  I think this is common for men.  So when you stop, predictable results ensue.  

 

Congrats on 3 months clean!  It is a strange time, as you still are still dealing with recovery problems, yet you are clean enough to be able to look back clearly (with horror) at how much adderall has damaged your life.  It's a tough time, but during my last stretch, it did start to get better (WAY BETTER) around 5 months.  And I started to feel like a superhero in comparison.

 

Send me a PM if you want to talk about the sexual dysfunction issue, and I can share some awkward details which hopefully will lend some insight.

[No more diet coke or adderall-vyvanse!!]

im drinking some right now.

 

but yeah that diet coke habit sounds awful, not just for the caffeine, but all the other things that are in pop (especially zero calorie diet pop)

 

you'll probably sleep so much better once you adapt to not having it anymore (at least as much)

[Greg/InRecovery Meets up with Cassie in NYC]

awesome guys, nice to put a real face to the personality

[Why do I like House of Cards? (trying for no spoilers)]

lol is this how far we have fallen

[8 months sober, FUCK YOU SHIRE!]

that's great about being sober for 8 months.  a great accomplishment.

 

the xanax doesn't sound like a great idea though.  explore other solutions!

[Why do I like House of Cards? (trying for no spoilers)]

yeah doesn't seem like much substance anymore

[The moments that keep me here and hopeful.]

I totally know what you mean here.

[" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!]

30 days confirmed.... well kinda.  Today is technically day 30 but my ticker says its been one month (february is gonna be february) so screw it I'll jump the gun a bit early.

 

Have been so distracted by new passion that I have hardly thought of adderall.  Pair that with the fact that I've got no access even if I wanted, and I really feel set up for success.

 

I regret my relapse greatly but I hope that a year down the road I can look back and remember the lesson that it taught me: it doesn't matter how long I'm clean for. I will always be viciously addicted to amphetamines.  One is too many, 1000 is not enough.

 

Thanks again everyone for your continued understanding and support.  Took me about 4 months to bounce back from the relapse, but I'm finally back on track!

[musical performance]

got a track, with me singing this time haha, if anyone wants it its in MP3 so just PM me an email address to send it to

 

ill never be great but its fun as hell and a huge distraction from even thinking about adderall

[Dissapointed in myself, scared...]

I've been there many times.  Only once I flushed pills and even then I still went back to them one more time.  The last time I used them I used em till they were gone and never was able to flush.

 

Remember to do more than pray.  Take concrete steps to prevent this from repeating itself.  Your future you will thank you for it!

[One Word Status Update]

such excited

[Misdiagnosed: Adolescence to Adulthood on Amphetamines]

Yes LILTEX we don't say it often enough.  You are the best!

[My husband- Advice please?]

Yes it is normal when they are on it and when they are coming off of it.

 

I wish there was something to say to help your situation but all I can do is confirm that what you are describing is indeed normal behaviour for a user.

 

I wish I knew how to help.  :<  

Please don't be sorry and post more if you have any questions!

[Dissapointed in myself, scared...]

Hey.. listen.  Speed (yes that's what it is) is powerful as FUCK.

 

We all totally understand what happened.  I am the KING of relapsing and have pulled the dumbest stunts ever and people here are still supporting me.  It's cause they know how it works and they understand.  Same for you.

 

Step 1)  Forgive yourself.  Seriously just take it easy.  It's an addiction.  None of us understood addiction (but of course we all thought we were too smart for that right?) before we got hooked.  But now it's here and we're addicted.  So don't blame yourself.  It's out of your control.

 

Step 2)  Acknowledge that last fact.  It is out of your control.  So does that mean we're all doomed?  No!  It means we need to reach out for help.  The people on this site are great for emotional support but none of us can do the one critical thing that is most important.  We can't stop you from taking a pill when the cravings hit.  And FUCK do they ever hit strong.

 

Step 3)  The only logical conclusion is that you have to involve other people somehow.  Prescription?  Tell your doctor that you are addicted and you want to quit.  Tell him/her that your life is hundreds of times better without it, but because of the addiction you can't stop.  Tell your doctor that exactly.  They are obligated to cut you off.  It's that easy.  But it's hard as hell because it's so scary.  "Wait, what about later when I'm not addicted anymore and if I want some... then i'll be cut off!"   *ALARM SOUND* wrong question.  You will always be addicted.  Once addicted always addicted.  You'll never be able to control it like you did when you first started.  Trust me I've tried after being 10 months clean.

 

Dealer?  If he's your friend, tell him it's destroying you.  If it's not your friend and you don't trust them not to take advantage of you, then tell them you got busted by the cops with posession and you think they are monitoring your phone, they'll be too scared to sell you any more.  If that doesnt' work, threaten to rat them out to the cops (OK maybe don't do this if they are street dealers because those people can be scary).  I don't know there has to be a way.  But I'll bet it's a doctor anyway since that's how most people get their prescription.

 

The moral is, you have to plan ahead for when the cravings hit, because when they do come (and they always do).  YOU won't be in the driver's seat by that time.  You'll just be a passenger watching your addict take over your actions and thoughts.

 

Please don't be angry with yourself.  Just learn from this and plan ahead for next time.  We WILL get through this together!

[My husband- Advice?]

Yes it is normal when they are on it and when they are coming off of it.

 

I wish there was something to say to help your situation but all I can do is confirm that what you are describing is indeed normal behaviour for a user.

 

I wish I knew how to help.  :<  

Please don't be sorry and post more if you have any questions!

[Misdiagnosed: Adolescence to Adulthood on Amphetamines]

Well the good news is you have most of your life ahead of you.  We'll be here to help get you off that shit!

[" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!]

  yup

 

was waiting for 30 days to chime in!

 

Thanks for thinking of me!

 

No room for relapse.  Gotta sing tomorrow night!

[" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!]

I'm glad you didn't cave.  I totally know the feeling of being afraid of yourself.  I highly recommend taking precautions to make sure you can't get any from your colleague in the future.  Can you just explain to them the situation?

[When does the anxiety stop???]

It definitely will pass!  That's so good that you are cut off and don't have to worry about caving in the future!

Keep your chin up things will get way better soon!

 

For supplements, I've heard people recommend L-Tyrosine and 5-htp as a good combo.

 

Personally I don't like Tyrosine as it makes me nauseous unless I'm intensely physically exerting myself right after taking it but 5-htp is a really nice smooth uplifting feeling and worked great for me on its own.  I've been taking them every day for the past week and I think it's been a great help keeping me thinking positive.

 

It's reasonably priced and you can get it at most health foods stores.  Maybe it's worth a shot?  

EDIT:  I guess you said you are already on a lot of supplements and its overwhelming.  Maybe suggesting another one is the last thing you need idk.  Anyways hope you feel some improvement soon!

[Scared to quit and scared to keep going.]

You're also no worse than anyone.  Remember that.  This doesn't make you a bad person!  it doesn't make you weak either.

 

He wouldn't hate you.  And if he does....

 

It sure would be nice for you not to have to go through recovery alone.  I hope you can reach out to someone.  Anyways, you came to the right place!  Let's make a plan for you to get off this shit!

[Non User Needs User (or past user) Advice]

I'm so sorry that you went through that.  I saw my own habits and behaviour all throughout your post....

 

I'm lucky I was on my own, because if I wasn't I surely would have destroyed any relationship I was in.

 

I am glad to hear things are improving.  Sounds like you guys have a plan in place!

[Please share your adderall replacement regime]

SO AWESOME!  You must feel great!

[When does the anxiety stop???]

have you considered giving yoga a try?  it's zero impact which might be perfect if you have problems with your joints. 

[Found old Adderall.]

That's soooo true!  That's the one easier thing about quitting stuff like adderall or even marijuana.  You can just choose to distance yourself from people who do those things and you can systematically remove the triggers from your life.  For a recovering alcoholic or smoker, it's EVERYwhere just thrown in your face.

 

Look at these people enjoying this in moderation and how great they are enjoying their life.

 

I admire sober alcoholics in particular for this so much.

[It's my time]

So glad to hear you're doing well!  I just went back and read your original post from so long ago.  You have come so far since then.  Keep it up!  You deserve to be happy!