Krax

It's interesting how we have all dosed in response to some uncomfortable feeling, even though it clearly magnifies the discomfort. I would often pop one to deal with feeling aggravated, of all things, which of course only made it worse. Now, when I get annoyed or frustrated or wherever I find myself surprised at how quickly the feeling passes by not doing anything

That's awesome I hope I have a similar pattern, I just finished month 2

So am I reading this right, it looks like your mood and mental function increased dramatically between the 2nd and 3rd month?

You know what I'm experiencing now is this weird sadness that I can no longer look forward to taking a dose, just part of the process I guess, but its this anticipation a lot of people here have discussed in other posts, and I miss that as much if not more then actually taking the drug

Totally know what you mean, you are not alone

That's why I tossed mine, there is no way I wouldn't do the same thing if I had immediate access to them.

I think it's the chemical mechanisms of CNS stimulants that it make it so hard if not impossible to taper off - I've never been able to do it - and it makes sense you know, I think there is sort of a mini-withdraw going on the minute one starts to wear off.

Awesome

I say this because I don't think most guys find women who look those gals on desperate housewives (you know, getting older and thinking being skinny makes them look younger) sexually attractive, I know I don't, yet the media creates the impression that men want that. I think it's b.s. Edit: I didn't mean "getting older" is unattractive, rather I was referring to the fact that these actresses try to mask their age by starving themselves and looking more like 10 year old boys then regular women.

Okay, sorry but I have to finally say something about weight and women: I am totally sympathetic about how hard it must be for women especially in our culture to struggle with weight - my wife and sister do. The following is my take though, on our culture and what is promoted as the ideal for women and is not meant to sound homophobic, but the whole image thing is based in large part I think on fashion and fitting into clothes, ect (as my wife tells me only really thin women can fit into a lot of this stuff) but who is probably more involved in creating and designing these clothes - straight or gay guys? C'mon! It's gay guys telling you how you should look, to which my response is then who cares? If a gay women finds me unattractive, do I care? No! Not because I don't value her opinion but because how would she know? Am I wrong?

Oh man, those posts really hit home for me. That lack of empathy and understanding towards your partner, and them feeling so alone - Motivation and Cassie are right, the external effect is much greater then you realize. Remember, the person making this judgment inside yourself, it's not really you, it's addicted you -

I am prescribed 75 mg twice a day, but I only take the one in the morning.

No I take bupropion hcl Not sure what that stands for but since its not SR I assume its not

Fellow Wellbutrin users not using adderall: do you have trouble tolerating caffine? I have found that I usually have to wait about an hour after I take Wellbutrin (I only take it in the a.m.) before coffee. If I have them too close together I get very very anxious.

May I suggest "On Speed" by Nicolas Rasmussen, InRecovery recommended it in his book list, Amazon has it - it's helpful in understanding why you became so dependent which I think helps in recovery

the fact that you're here and very self-aware to me shows you are ready to do it

Hang in there

maybe one of the more technically advanced among us can create a modified spell-checker program to include the brand names that the regular spell checker mistakes for other words and phrases

InRecovery I appreciate your advice, for a couple reasons though that isn't an option. Just so you know, I had thrown out my last presc after a couple weeks - but I know what your saying. I think I'm in a good place now, which of course changes by the hour but I can say this forum, especially long-term people like yourself who haven't forgotten the struggles the rest of us are experiencing, is a huge inspriation and motivation to stay on the clean path - I'm not going to fail and it has alot to do with you guys.

Yes they make generic

So tomorrow is 8 weeks clean, and last night I finally experienced the infamous adder all dream (actually, it involved concerts, being a Ritalin user and all) everyone talks about. It was a good dream though, in that I dreamt that I was immediately unhappy and even unsatisfied after taking it, and felt tired...anyways I know this post is no significant contribution but I was sort of happy about it when I woke up and wanted to share, thanks again to everyone in this forum especially you long term folks who haven't forgotten where you come from

Sky that was a good analogy. I think the one thing about using Ritalin for so long is that it's made me appreciate a lot of those rough spots in life, as uncomfortable as they can be they add value and meaning to life. A lot of my traits I lost when using were things I was ashamed of on some level, and which turned out (I realized) were assets. You can't have the good without the bad but it's better then having nothing.

You should be proud of yourself. The time has come for my scrip to be refilled. I've struggled with that a lot but whenever it starts to eat at me I talk to my wife about how I'm feeling and I calm myself down. I just don't want to go through this again.

Thx you know when I hit 50 days a few days ago it started feeling like my head was going to explode, as though I'm tweaking out on reality. It sucks but I just keep reading the posts from you folks, about how much better you feel after 90 days, 9 months, years, and that keeps me optimistic.

I've been thinking out loud too, I think it's part of my current state of mind that being scrambled and confused, it is easier to think when I can hear myself out loud. I try not to do it in public but yes I'm experiencing that too.