Krax

As you will read in more detail elsewhere, recovery progress is not linear. There will be ups and downs.

I'm on my iPad so I can't give you a detailed response, but would say hang in there, we've all been there or are there, and you might ask your dr about Wellbutrin

Computer music production doesn't sound banal until you do it on amphetamine

I am thinking that perhaps the previous motivation and enthusiasm we all felt and that we believe is missing - and I certainly experience this on a daily basis - is really the result of being now the wiser and that our pre adderall goal oriented personality was really the result of faulty thinking that has actually been corrected by our experience with and from using speed. Maybe our particular persoanlities are what made this drug so attractive. Does this make sense to anyone else? I don't have the enthusiasm I had before using, but when I think about my thinking back then, it was formed so much along delusional ideas that I now see as such. I don't believe I would have this realization now though, at least not so clearly, had I never gone through the abuse, addiction, and recovery. I'm not trying to sound so remote and probably should give some specific examples, I'm just trying to generalize my theory. I guess I don't have the motivation and enthusiasm I remember having in pert because I see a lot of the thinking I use to have that probably had a lot to do with this M and E as bullshit. I think my current thinking is more accurate, and so ya I don't work under the delusions I use to, and as a result I have less enthusiasm, but I don't think I want to go back to being delusional either. I just have to find a way to get things done. I hope this is helpful and I am interested if anyone else has a similar perspective

just been getting through the days, thanks,

awhile back someone mentioned this powder called Craze or Kraze, it is marketed for body builders. I got some and it tasted like tang, and ya, it felt suspiciously alot like adderall. I googled and read some scary stuff about the manufacturer. Who knows what was in that stuff.

I don't think I've ever seen this discussed on the forum, but I came across this website today: http://totallyaddshop.com/products/add-loving-it?_ga=1.141563761.271408384.1399677796#.U21liPldWyV advertising the video, ADD and Loving It. This company must be funded by the pharmaceutical industry, in the trailer for the film they start talking about how great the meds are, and how terrible ADD is if "left untreated," and then this lady says an aspirin is more dangerous to kids then ritalin. Totally disgusting.

Hang in there, is your GF on board with the quit?

Thanks I'll try that

Yes my official quit November 15, 2012, with a one day slip up late January, 2013. Sorry if my post sounded negative I was just thinking and venting a bit.

I often wish I could return to that 4-5 week clean point, when I could sleep, eat, rediscover my libido, without these pesky feelings and emotions having yet returned.

True dat

Flight was great I haven't seen the other two you mentioned yet

I am staying the hell away from that stuff!

Ya I know it sounds great but the way these celebs are all over it reminds me of scientology or something

I eat pretty good. Wife makes me a smoothie in the morning, and usually a sandwhich or leftovers for lunch. Try to drink a lot of water. I use the elilptical 5 days a week, or we go on walks.

Did you go to a class or something?

Thanks I appreciate your input - is there a resource you can direct me to to find out more about TM?

I've been clean for over a year. I recently realized how much of my anxiety for the last few months has been the result of drinking too much caffeine, so I've cut my coffee down and that is great, but as I have for some time now in the afternoon I just can't get moving to do stuff. So I would welcome and appreciate ideas for dealing with this, that do not include caffeine. Thanks.

I have suffered from chronic year round allergies all of my adult life. First of all, I would appreciate it if I did not receive any armchair unsolicited however well meaning advice from people who have minor or no allergies on how to alleviate the symptoms. That is very annoying to someone like me. What I am interested in is if anyone has had the experience of dealing with this as part of recovery. When taking Ritalin they were less bothersome not that they were better only that I was very unattached from my physical being. Now that I'm over a year clean they really bother me. I can enjoy food and sex again, but my allergies are a real detriment, anyone else experienced this?

Just watched film on netflix called side effects, interesting plot involving the corrupt pharmaceutical complex many of us have talked about on the forums. I am kind of surprised it got released, anyone else seen it?

Were you abusing it (exceeding the dosage) when using it on a regular basis? I ask because based on the experiences most people relate, I would say that it is unusual to then quit for almost 1 year and then go back to using occasionally. I'm just curious, thanks

that sounds like a high dose, have you asked your Dr about dropping down and only in the morning? I was born in Rockford but moved a couple times until I was about 5 when we moved to OR. No my relatives are primarily in MO and Kentucky.

I quit on November 15, 2012. On January 25, 2013 I slipped up and took some one day, but none since then. I think the anxiety started in the second month. The second and third month was tough. My energy really came back last March, and even more and more in the summer. I feel now like I remember feeling before I took ritalin.

agreed. One thing that is weird: I took ritalin, alternating on and off a few times instead with folcain and concerta, for 4.5 years pretty hard. The last six months i was also on wellbutrin. I decided at that point, that whenever I started tweaking out I would dump the rest of my 30 day prescription (of ritalin) and go without until the refill. I did this the whole final 6 months. Sometimes I lasted two weeks, sometimes 2 days, but no matter how long I lasted, the withdrawal was always the same. The only good thing about this is that being on the WB, I developed confidence and a belief that I could function without the ritalin, because I had a number of work related things that I did really well without the ritalin. I finally quit for good when my Dr. gave me a 90 day refill, and after 30 days I dumped it and was done.