Greg

cody, i also totally agree with what you said about adderall making us only do the things we feel like doing not so much the things that need to get done.. and often what we want to do is totally different then what we need to be doing. as an addict, i always justified whatever i was doing as something productive.but i was really not doing anything productive. i spent a lot of time smokimg cigarettes and living inside my head ruminating over this and that and Pacing around room to room. i had a lot of ambition and dreams on adderall, but not actual results/ i was too all over the place to focus on any one thing.

i think lots of tv and quitting adderall are the perfect combination. Getting into a tv series gets your mind of withdrawal. I went through all seasons of several series and that helped me so much get through the pain of withdrawal (alias, Lost, 24)...i would get absorbed into the characters and storylines and that would kind of take my mind off of how miserable i was feeling. cody . same here. there are some things i had such a passion for and completely lost interest in after stopping the adderall. but ive definitely picked up new interests that i didnt care for as much on adderall.

alright, im settled in. There was a really friendly RA who helped me get settled in and whatnot. And everyone I talked to is nice . I forgot to pack clothes (i packed bedding but not clothes) (its being shipped in hopefully tomorrow) so all i have is what i am wearing now which is a t shirt which i stained today to wear at orientation all day tomorrow. oops. the main thing is i have internet access, and really any new environment is managable as long as you have internet access, right? quit once - i usually find the smileys by googling the expression and then emoticon. for example, try googling "happy emoticon" or "angry emoticon". thats where i get them

If this was back in they day, I can't even imagine how much adderall id be on for this..

Thanks MFA - I read this a couple times and felt better!! Serious butterflies in my stomach. Leaving in an hour. Ill email you all updates.

Normally I would be surprised at 5 to 7 bucks a pill, but being an addict I am not surprised at all. When it comes to the adderall addict, money is no object. At least once a month I was buying adderall Xr without insurance which came out to if I recall correct, 150-something a bottle and that came to a couple bucks a pill. The move has been stressful . i underestimated it and I was totally in PAWS through it. I am really nervous. I have been in an adderall sobriety bubble and now..well,..I will post you all updates.

I just opened a carry on luggage bag i need for tomorrow and found all these empty adderall capsules and adderall xr beads scattered all over the bottom of the bag and I thought of this thread. They still seem to turn up all over the place!!! A reminder of how I'd been taking ingesting them. And a reminder of how badly i was abusing them. Anyway I stared at them like some artifact, something fromthe past. But with no desire. And then I chucked them in the trash. Good riddance!!

I Don't think you'll find a better opportunity to quit cigarettes then right now. Just sayin...

I am definitely going to be downloading this app. I wonder if they have it for android.

Thanks lea! I can't believe you read this. I cant believe anyone has. I'm sure if we printed it out it would be like over 1000 pages. I haven't read this post in forever. I just remember I had so much to get off my chest about the whole adderall addiction. Every time I sat down to write a post, I would practically write a novel. And I was just so surprised there was an active forum dealing with adderall addiction because I could find so little info on it' on the web. So lucky to have this awesome adderall support group. I have learned so much about addiction through this and it's been easier to fight this not going it alone and with the support of everyone.

MFA, I love your screen name. The mantra is such a good daily reminder!! Thank you for calling yourself MFA.

Sky I just cringed when i read what you wrote because I think that a lot too. I was uh...hyper enthusiastic about everything about life when I was on adderall and I cringe at what that must have looked like to others. I'm so glad I'm not on that crap anymore.

Lol, I just won gameify me. 2000 points. everyone should try this once. i have collapsed on the couch. Totally underestimated how much I'd have to do before leaving. Still have a thousand things to do tomorrow. thanks MFA for pointing out this very amusing anti procrastination tool. Edit - here is the link http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=gamifyme&source=web&cd=2&ved=0CD0QFjAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fitunes.apple.com%2Fus%2Fapp%2Fgoventure-gamifyme-free%2Fid558822453%3Fmt%3D8&ei=SQf2UJ_lCOW90QHpy4HABA&usg=AFQjCNEwuzZGCrZhLzwk1suT68btJPNTSg&sig2=rz1c4vZ9o63R7OaXTJlbxA

Keep it up lea and Cody! Withdrawal memories are like counter opposing force to urges. The positive and negative signs on a battery come to mind as an analogy. I was just running errands and thinking of withdrawal memories and I always feel better, it helps with PAWS too. My advice to everyone. You may remember the euphoria from the drug, but don't ever, ever, forget that feeling of what it was like when the pills wore off and you would try your best to postpone the next dose. Keep that memory vivid and alive and relive it when u need to.

Cassie had mentioned something along these lines. But in the beginning it can sort of be like going on a diet. You are most pumped up and motivated. And also there is still amphetamine in your system. But the real test comes in like month three as you begin the major 'leg' of your recovery and there is no more amphetamine in your system and yourealize this is for the longhall.nYou must continue to work hard on your motivation. Also post acute withdrawal begins to kick in.

Even two years after quitting I still get urges, desire for it. One thing I have done in the past that works for me when I'm dealing with urges is I try as hard as I can to vividly remember the feeling it was like to be in withdrawal from adderall in between doses. That feeling of the adderall wearing off and wanting more. It was such a god awful feeling, and I am thinking about it as I type. My forehead would crinkle up in agony and I would feel so utterly uncomfortable and deprived of speed and so shitty from it wearing off. I try to remember that god awful feeling of trying to postpone my dose so wouldn't run out as early. That always helps me with urges, tremendously.

Hey, take the ball and run with it!!

Quit once, I don't think I've worked enough without adderall to really know the answer to this. Lol, I'm still gaining post adderall work experience. I will be starting my second job soon. Maybe I will find that I really enjoy that one?? In the meantime, I've decided I'm going to persue a marketing degree perhaps work in advertising or something like that. I really do hope find something I enjoy doing though, like yourself. That is really awesome to hear.

Anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, and i really, really want to be wrong, but I suspect that work is boring wherever you go, even if you have a cool job. I mean often you have to just sit at a desk all day. Or perhaps stand around all day. When I was on adderall I was unnaturally interested and passionate about what I did. AND I WAS IN PSYCHOSIS. But I'm pretty sure that was the adderall and not my job. If I wasn't on adderall probably it would have been so boring. I think understanding boredom is a part of recovery. And like MFA mentioned before. Boredom>adderalled

Neat, I found the app in the itunes App Store. It's called gamifyme . I'm going to have to try this out!! Basically every time you complete a task u get points, and you build a portion of your pyramid. Once you collect enough points to build your pyramid u win, Edit- neat, I'm playing this with my packing now. Lets see if I can win.

I am weary of how school and preparing for exams is going to affect my PAWS but...i guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Edit - dealing with PAWs for me has been like a perpetual mosquito buzzing in your ear. Like in the beginning its super aggravating, bothersome and annoying and really attuned to it. But then as time passes, the buzzing may continue to be as intense but just start to ignore it more, and it becomes less bothersome, and its less noticeable even if its still there and just as intense as before. That's how I describe my PAWS.

Just for reference. I was around 250 mgs plus a day, abusing for 12 years. And also i was snorting it a lot of the time. I'm going to say it took two years to get a lot better and it wasnt until Maybe 8 or 9 months before I first began to feel Like dopamine was coming back. And I absolutely still get PAWS which comes in waves. But the PAWS isn't as bad as before and So I know later it won't be as bad as now. So that has been my timetable. PAWS usually comes in conditions where I normally depended on adderall like under stressful situations or getting or needing to be awake on less sleep or its completely random.

I totally needed to read this..thx!!

Ashley I'm sure you'll do amazing now that you are not on adderall... When I was in my senior year of college I took a public speaking course and my entire course was based on one 30 minute lecture we were suppose to give at the end of the course. I was so nervous building up to it, I just started popping adderall. That was my solution to preparing for this thing. I popped like 10 pills. When it came time for my speech I was So incredible strung out, my thoughts were so all over the place, I was peppy but my thinking was everywhere. Then as i started to do bad, i started freaking out about how i was doing bad. The adderall had me so strung out that I just bombed the whole thing. It was a mess. LOL. Adderall screwed that while thing up. And I had been doing well in that class up until that assignment. But unfortunately my whole grade was based on the final assignment. What I needed was no adderall in my system so I'd be nice and relaxed. But instead I was on hyperdrive, totally overstimulated and my anxiety levels were through the roof from speed. You will do well in your public speaking. Didn't you give a lecture on your experience with adderall in front of a bunch of students? That sound intimidating. I'm sure u will rock this course. Especially since you aren't on adderall. Don't forget to picture the audience naked.