SweetCarolinee

WOW guys! Thank y'all so much. All this support and encouragement means so much to me and it made me smile huge to see all your wonderful comments. Day 47: On a roll! JUSTIN - you make a great point. I'm not sure if I really have. I think I am the healthiest I've ever been in my life and this is during recovery so I'm not even near where I plan on being this time next year - health and fitness wise. But I want to be the healthiest and best version of me I can be - mind, body and soul (not just on the outside). I notice a lot of those crazy side effects gone, which is so delightful. I think I'm getting healthier mentally as well. More stable. More at peace. I'm beginning to feel like my old self again. More real and genuine. I can live in and appreciate the moment at hand. I was getting so depressed and down and angry for no reason on the pills and now I'm not, it's like a dark weight has been lifted off my shoulders and now I'm just surrounded by a positive, bright light. It feels really good. I feel free… My boyfriend has noticed a difference. We are currently long distance for a few months but we get to see each other a lot and he thinks I'm way more calmer now and is happy I'm not on that shit anymore. My focus is still out of control, it's hard for me to drive even. As silly as this sounds, I'm so distracted by everything, houses, the woods, birds, the snow, etc. I love to people watch and look at architecture, etc. so it's hard. I have to focus so hard just driving. I think I've been sleeping too much though and I've still been slacking on my business. ROBIN - Mostly. It's been really hard. I feel like I use all my energy eating healthy and working out now and trying to heal/recovery, I have no energy left for anything else. I'm still really creative though, thank God, it's just the way I think - like "what if?" I was worried. But now when I sit down to paint, it takes me much longer and I paint for a much shorter time - without Adderall. When it comes down to running my business or taking/editing the photos or doing the listings, I haven't done any of that yet really (since being clean). I actually have a shit load of inventory, vintage clothes and pillows I've designed and sewn, I haven't gotten up yet on it but need too. I've answered messages and done the little, easy parts like shipping out orders. We made a deal with a blogger recently, which is awesome. I went to school for textiles/fibers so I'm a repeat pattern/surface designer -- I've been out of school for 2 years and it's been hard finding a permitted job. I make patterns, prints, paintings, collections, etc. for products like clothes or furniture or commission or freelance work while running/co-owning the Etsy shop and designing for it as well. I also do local art shows at surrounding galleries and art contests. If you want to check out the shop, here it is: http://www.etsy.com/shop/whydontyouhaveaseat It's been hard though and overwhelming. My studios a mess lol and coffee doesn't help as much as I wish but I overall feel better without Adderall so no turning back. We got this! We just have to force ourselves to do what we gotta do! Ahhh Sorry this post was so long and confusing!

Ashley, come join us in FL!

Hey and welcome! Congrats on 45 days clean, I am actually around the same amount of days clean as you - I was on Adderal for 5 years and then Vyvance the last two. I've gained 6 pounds and have been going crazy about it. I've been working out, doing a lot of brikam yoga and eating right for the last month str8 and STILL haven't lost any weight - I don't think but my scale is broken haha but I don't care, as long as I'm healing and getting healthy... weight is just a number, right?! I even started a health tumblr blog to motivate myself but I think my body is just so confused still and getting used to not taking the meds since I've been on them for the last 7 years. I've also been sleeping for 12hours at night, I used to only sleep 6 or less. I think it will take a while for our bodies and mind to heal and get back to how it used to be (if it ever will) before taking the pills. Hang in there, we can/will get threw this together!!

Hey there! My heart would always hurt on Adderall... even when I wasn't speeding. That never stopped me from using. Like what was I doing? Then I would drink booze to slow down my heart rate. My poor heart. It's getting better now, hopefully. I have to say, when I quit, I didn't hit rock bottom… I probably hit rock bottom in my early using and kept using anyways. Young and dumb. I quit when the depression and anixety got so bad and I never had depression before using - that saids something. I don't think anyone should be on ADD meds of any kind - even if it "helps" them because in the long run, I honestly think it only hurts people, mentally and physically but that's what I believe and my personal experience. I had a similar mind set to you before quitting - I thought I couldn't, it wasn't possible. I honestly thought I would be on it forever but look at me now! I don't want to jinx anything because hey, it hasn't been easy but it's possible to live without it. It just takes hard work. You can do it if you want it Glad you found the site and welcome with open arms!

Thanks Justin, I appreciate it!! Day 46: oh yeah!! I can't believe it guys, I really can't!

Hey guys! I just found out about the Tough Mudder... http://toughmudder.com/ Have you guys heard of this? I am SO signing up. I told my brothers gf today about it and she was like YOUR brothers been dying to do this for the last 2 years so I think we may sign up together for it in the spring. Let's all do it!!!! Ya'll are crazy for running in the cold. But I keep doing yoga for an hour and a half in a room of 105 degrees haha There is too much snow on the ground to go running outside but . . . InRecovery - I'm going to FL too, this Friday to visit my bf for almost 2 weeks... so excited. I'm so pale and can't wait to go jogging outside and maybe go to the beach, I really hope its beach weather! Have a great trip!

This sounds great, thank you so much for sharing and great job on your 27 day no alchol streak. I need to start that after V-day. I got a little tipsy Saturday night while out for dinner and was hungover all day Sunday I will try to remember to sign up for this tomorrow!!!!

Hey guys! Sorry I'm a day late... monday - ran 5 miles tuesday - bikram yoga (1 & 1/2hr.) wednesday - rest day thursday - ran 2 miles and bikram yoga (1 & 1/2hr.) friday - rest day saturday - bikram yoga (1 & 1/2hr.) sunday (today) - rest day because I was hungover. oops and I had a "cheat day" off my healthy/clean eating. I ate pizza and ice cream and IT WAS AMAZING. Great job everyone, keep up the good work!!!

Hey guys! Holy smokes... I haven't been on here in a few days (since Thurs.) and it has sucked. I've missed you all, I've been so busy working on art and the Etsy shop and yoga but good news... Day 42, 43, 44, & 45: CHECK!!! It's harder without it but better and I'm happier! Thanks for all the support, you guys are the greatest Hope everyone is doing well!

Great job everyone!!! I'm so proud of us all! This is awesome

Day 41 down! I went running and did yoga today and I am beyond sore. Tomorrow is FRIDAY! yay

I agree superkewl!!! I read this quote today and I thought it was great: "A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. When you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. The moment you start acting like life is a blessing, I assure you it will start to feel like one." (via la http://stevenrosas.tumblr.com/)

Hey guys! I found a new website the other day I wanted to share with all of you. If anyone is interested, it is called "the daily positive" by Dale Partridge and you sign up for free with your e-mail. If you sign up, you get a daily e-mail of some words of wisdom and/or an article/short story of something positive or how to fix certain aspects of your life, etc. Something new and insightful everyday. I love just waking up and checking my e-mail and reading the positive article… some are really helpful. Sign up and tell me what you think! It's kind of like a free, daily "self help book" The article this morning was called "3 Ways We Ruin Relationships" and he gives ways to fix this... Here is the website link: http://dalepartridge.com/

Hey guys! Day 40: ☑ check ☑ Hope everyone is doing great!

Wow Epiphany, good for you for quitting while still in school. I quit 2 years after graduating. I will be 40 days clean tomorrow but I can relate with the sleeping thing. I've been sleeping 12 hours nightly and I've never slept this much in my life. Even before speed, I only slept 4-6hrs a night but I have been working out pretty hardcore 4-5 days a week. I think that has been helping so much - so definitely try to get more exercise in and maybe focusing more on diet! I don't want to sound like Mother Nature up in this bitch or anything but don't underestimate the power of eating clean and lots of fruits and veggies, protein, etc. Not so much refined sugar, craboridates, and processed BS. All of this has been really helping me so far and yoga, my new love. It's been hard and I have had a huge lack of focus and motivation to do certain things but I just make myself do it. I make myself go running or go to hot yoga and I don't think I even realize what I'm doing until 20minutes in but by that time, the endorphins are flowing and life is good. As far as your old hobbies, you said you aren't interested in them anymore. Maybe make yourself be or try something new. Go outside of your comfort zone, it's good for you. Join some clubs or for fun sport teams at school. I was on a co-ed kickball league in Savannah, where I went to college and had a blast. Or take up learning how to play a new instrument or take up comic books or go volunteer at the doggie shelter. Life has so much to offer, don't let it pass you by. Also, I suggest trying to have a different outlook - if you can. Try to look at things from a different angle. Instead of seeing what you don't have or have lost because of Adderall, try to focus on what you do have and what you are thankful for! That has been helping me a lot. We are here for you if you need anything at all or if your bored, come talk to us!

You guys are the greatest!! Thank you all for your wonderful support, it puts a big smile on my face! <-- thats me! AND CONGRATS JUSTIN ON ONE YEAR!!! WOOTWOOT that is truly amazing and inspiring!!!! Day: 38 and 39: check and check! I can't believe tomorrow is day 40, it feels like I quit ages ago yet only yesterday - all at the same time, so odd!

Hi Ruben! How are you? Welcome to the site, so glad you came! I think it takes someone very strong to share with us what you shared so thank you. And I'm happy your trying to quit, that's great. From your 2 posts I read, I think you are way too harsh on yourself, you sound like your own worst critic/worst enemy. You are totally worth while and aren't a loser so stop calling yourself that and being so hard on yourself. It seems to me, you have a bit of a self-esteem problem. And I also think you should stop worrying about what others think of you, just be yourself. I could be wrong, but it sounds like your putting your own happiness into other peoples hands a lot of the time. But you need to realize you don't need that dream girl or anyone else to be happy. You need to love yourself first and treat yourself right and with respect and the rest will follow. To a certain degree, happiness is a choice so try to start each day with a positive outlook and open mind. Try to enjoy the moment and be thankful everyday for what you have. I promise. They say "the mind makes the body" so try to convince yourself, your only option is to quit Adderall. That may be too extreme but that is what I've been doing! I was scared things were going to be different for me when I quit (I've been clean for 38 days I believe) -- maybe my boyfriend wasn't going to like me anymore, maybe I was going to get fat, etc. but so far everything has been going pretty good. It's been hard and painful but so worth it. And I've made a lot of new, great friends on this site. This fight is so worth it and so are you… you just need to believe in yourself!

omg CONGRATS Justin, that is amazing and you should be so proud of yourself! I know we're proud of you I'm sorry I didn't congratulate you sooner, I didn't get on here yesterday. That is amazing dude, great job!

Hey there and welcome! Glad you found this site and posted, this site has been a life saver for me… Seriously. I was on Adderall for 5 years (since 18 years old, starting college) and than Vyvanse for the last two. I'm 25 now and have been 37 days clean! Right before I quit, I thought I could never give up my pills but if I can, I know you can. I quit the Saturday before New Years and that Monday went to FL for 2 weeks to visit my boyfriend. I think quitting during a vacation, time off work, summer break, etc. is a great time to quit but that is my personal opinion and experience and it's different for everyone. Some people "ween" themselves off of it, others go cold turkey, etc. Different methods work for different people. I have to say, the weight thing and lack of motivation was my biggest fear of quitting and why I didn't quit sooner (which I wish I have) but I'm doing overall better and feeling so much better on the inside, as well since quitting. Like you, I was getting terrible depression, worsened anxiety and having panic attacks during my last few months taking them. And now, with the help of this site, these awesome people, eating right/clean, running, Bikram yoga and a lot of sleep (and taking it easy), I'm feeling better than my best day on Adderall. It's not gonna be easy but it's gonna be worth it. And the longer I'm clean, the longer I want to stay this way. I'm starting to get my motivation back little by little too. Anyways, stay a while, make friends, ask questions, talk to people, this site has been amazing... and we have faith in you, you can do it!

I feel like all I can do right now is rest and try to take care of myself like Ashley suggests and not much besides that! I don't have the energy too yet!

Ashley and InRecovery - you both did amazing too!! Everyone did, great job guys

Damn Occasional! You did AMAZING! I didn't do as good as I wanted :\ but I think I was burnt out from last week. monday - rest day tuesday - Ran 5 miles & sauna for 16mins. wednesday - bikram yoga (1 & 1/2hr.) thursday - rest day friday - bikram yoga (1 & 1/2hr.) saturday - bikram yoga (1 & 1/2hr.) sunday (today) - rest day

Hey friends, wasn't able to get on here yesterday :\ Day: 36 and 37: check and check! Hope everyone had a great Super Bowl Sunday and weekend!

Great job Jay!!! Your doing amazing!! You'll be at the "60 day challenge" in no time!!!

It's crazy really how deep something like recovery goes... it isn't just simply "saying" no. It's really having to confront your demons and issues, head on and sometimes alone. It's scarey but a really beautiful thing; at the same time. It's definitely a learning and growing experience and I truly believe, something good always comes from something bad (most of the time). If it wasn't for me quitting, I would have never "meet" all of you guys (whom I am very thankful for) but also I don't think I would have ever tried Bikram yoga and started this new healthy lifestyle/spiritual journey I'm now on. I feel like I'm really getting to know the "real" me now. After 7 years, it's crazy, scary, yet exciting all at the same time to peel the layers to really get to know your true inner self and soul.