SweetCarolinee

I love tea. I literally collect it, but I drink it all so it's all good lol I like the loose and already bagged kind! I've even had some crazy flowers that bloom open all huge and funky after pouring the hot water over it. I go to a flea market near my bf's place in FL and get it organically and locally grown and for dirt cheap from a medicine woman/natural healer, she's awesome and knows a buttload about health and healthy alternatives, etc. People come over a hour away just to get her stuff on the weekends. I suggest checking out your local flea markets for local tea growers/farmers!

Oh and that "mocktail" SOUNDS amazing!!!!! I want one right now haha Drinking soda water lemon favor is what got me off of drinking diet soda!

I meant to tell you, I have no more space on my iphone... it's old and a piece of shit, I can't even update the software because I have no space and I've deleted like everything and all my apps so I gotta wait til the fall when I can get a new one!

Wow Cassie, that's so awesome! You go girl… I need to start medicating like asap. Thanks for sharing this with us and being so inspiring I want my anxiety and depression gone too! I'm actually weening myself slowing off of Zoloft right now so I'm gonna be needing to go running and mediating a lot in the near future to keep my depression/anxiety at bay.

Congrats InRecovery, this is amazing news and you've totally earned it, GREAT job and you too Ashley! This is so awesome, everyone is kickin' ass and taking names. And Justin you will be too soon enough. So I had my interview Friday and it went great. It's just for a side job and at night, so I'm also looking for a full time job during the day or freelance work -- still while I'm doing the Etsy shop. It's a juggling act but I love it. The position is to be one of the artist/instructors for the painting parties at different restaurants and bars. You paint and drink and it's really fun and social and interactive. I actually had my first one last night and I was assisting! It was so much fun and I have my second assisting gig this Sunday and if all goes well, I can start teaching on my own in May! I know it's very untraditional and not the average 9-5 job but I'm not the traditional 9-5 type of gal lol I'm really excited for everyone here -- it seems like we're all doing great

Hey ZK, That's great your going to see a therapist tomorrow, good for you! I completely agree with everything Jon and Justin has said above. Your first appointment, you may be kind of "feeling out" your therapist because sometimes the first person you go see, may not work out. You guys may not vibe or you may get along greatly, you never know and it may take a few sessions to tell. Just go in very open minded and willing to learn, trust your therapist and be opened to try new things/methods. And be very, very honest, even if it's painful because they can't fully help you if your not telling them the complete truth. If you do that, I feel you will get the full benefits of therapy! Go in with an open mind and heart, you'll do fine. Goodluck tomorrow buddy

Hell yeah Liltex, I'm so glad!!! Your awesome and they have a cookbook too. I like to make "rollercoasters" and wrap a slice of tofurky with cheese with a pickle spear and bit of spicy brown mustard in the middle. It's yummy as a snack! I went to hot 3 times this week. I've been struggling a lot lately and not losing the post-adderall weight I've gained but have been working out really hard and eating healthy for at least 3 months and I'm getting mad but what can I do? Just keep going and trying. I think the Zoloft is making me starving all the time. I can eat a huge meal and be hungry 5 minutes after. I know a lot of it has to do with recovery as well and now since I'm not on Adderall, I'm clearly hungry but I'm getting mad and almost had a breakdown last night so I called my doctor and we decided I can go from 75mg to 50mg today and hopefully I will slowly start to tamper off of it. I hope it's not too soon though. In 2 weeks, will be the 6 months mark of me taking Zoloft. My goal is to be on NOTHING (well maybe besides birth control). Tomorrow morning I'm leaving for FL to be with my boyfriend and our other dog and to start job searching down there. I'm driving and going to stop half way and staying with my sister. First long distance road trip without Adderall ahhhhhhh but I can do it. I will drink lots of Starbucks! Wish me luck though guys and I'll be back on here in a few days!

Ashley, Congratulations on being Adderall free for 2 years and completely turning your life around, that is HUGE. You are AMAZING and such an inspiration. I really needed to hear your comment. It was beautiful and helps motivation me and the rest of us. You have come such a long way and your only going to go even further and be even stronger in the future You deserve the best life possible and congrats on the new job, that's so exciting and I'm sure you will do wonderfully at it. I can't wait to hear about it! We are so grateful to have you here and I agree with everyone, you should def get a pup! Haha

Quit-once, Thanks for the kind words above, glad you liked that post I made above. I didn't get much sleep the night before I posted that so I was a little emotional. But about drinking more water… I suggest getting a waterbottle 72oz (which is the recommended amount of water one is supposed to drink a day) -- you can get one for less than $3 from Walmart and try to make it a goal to drink the entire thing everyday. That is what I do! http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=72oz+waterbottle&id=3F35A0ECA25305284782BB85286BBDB4C9A56788&FORM=IQFRBA#view=detail&id=3F35A0ECA25305284782BB85286BBDB4C9A56788&selectedIndex=0

777, Great job on 28 days clean, your rockin' it. Keep up the good work! I'm around 3 months clean. Sometimes I have days similar to how you describe. I will go upstairs to get something and then forget what I went up there for lol Coffee at first made me shaky too and light headed but now it's working great. Maybe drink more water too. You may be dehydrated. Keep your head up and keep going, you are on the right path my friend.

Damn LilTex 9.26 miles today! That is AMAZING!!! Great job. Your dad sounds awesome and like such an inspiration. I wish I could get up everyday at 4am and work out. I'm not a morning person. And yess, lets start a vegetarian mafia! I'm a vegetarian and have been for 8 years. I love it. I'm not a vegan, I eat cheese and eggs sometimes! You should read the book "Skinny Bitch" (I hate the title because the book isn't really about being skinny but healthy and saving animals!). I read it in HS and became a vegan a few days after finishing it. Then a month later I became full blown vegetarian because I really missed cheese. I'm Italian, what can I say lol I don't drink milk though, I drink coconut milk and it's amazing, it's so refreshing and tropical tasting. I use coconut milk in my overnite oats (I eat this everyday for breakfast, so good). If you want any inspiration check out my "fitness blog" on trumblr (aka I just reblog pics -- not really a "real" blog); I reblog motivational pics and healthy recipes, stuff like that etc. http://gettintonednhealthy.tumblr.com/ I also like these books (You can get for pretty cheap used on Amazon): "Eat Pretty: Nutrition for Beauty, Inside and Out" by Jolene Hart "Thrive Energy Cookbook" by Brendan Brazier (150 plant-based whole food recipes) "Super Natural Cooking" by Heidi Swanson

Hey guys, Sorry I've been a little MIA on this forum… but it looks like InRecovery and Ashley are DOING amazing! Congrats on the job Ashley and the 3rd interview InRecovery! Usually I've heard if they send someone somewhere for an interview and are already spending money on you, you have a pretty good chance! I applied for 2 jobs yesterday and will hopefully have that other interview in about a week. It's in FL and I drive down on Monday! Wish me luck guys, first long distance road trip without Adderall.

I love this. Great post! This is beautiful.

I just followed that twitter page haha I still cant figure out how to make a thumbnail!

As crazy as this sounds, I think I knew right away after taking them, I probably should not. It felt too unnatural. They say "when things are too good to be true they usually are" and that is definitely the case with me and Adderall and I knew right away. But at the time I started taking them, which was my first trimester in college, you couldn't pay me to stop. I was love stuck. I was at my worse probably the first 2-3 years on them. Out of control, not eating, drinking and partying all the time. Almost failing out of school, I was too busy partying, cleaning and bar tending to concentrate on school and school work. I ended up going to a life coach and started to get my life back together while still taking them. Or so I thought. Flash forward 5 years later since starting Adderall, I knew shit wasn't good again. I was still drinking too much, getting depressed, still partying too much, still unhealthy, not eating and when I was, eating shit like Papa Johns, but I was doing great in school and graduated. But I was so mad all the time for no reason and my depression started getting worse, which is why I was drinking so much and I knew if I kept taking them I would mess up everything I had going for me, including my great relationship with my boyfriend. So I went to my doctor and told her I wanted something else for ADHD but more mild. I wasn't ready to quit yet. So she put me on Vyvanse. I really liked it at first, it was way more milder. But after the first year, I started noticing similar shitty side effects to being on Adderall, I stayed on it for another year until I found this site and finally quit, Dec. 28th 2013! I also started Zoloft Fall of 2013. Looking back and really thinking about all the damage I have done to myself, my mind, body, brain, organs and soul, I'm so pissed at myself and trying to do all that I can to live a life completely opposite than I have the last 7 years. I'm being more mindful, healthy, etc.

Lucky, I'm right there with you my friend. Just like you, I have days where I wake up and life is amazing, I have a ton of energy, I get a lot done, I eat clean and healthy and go to yoga and then I have days where I can barely get out of bed, let alone eat healthy or go to yoga. I think this is normal and just a part of recovery. And it makes us stronger by not being temped to going back to our old ways, when we are at our worst. I feel though I'm best after getting at least 10 hours of sleep. I have to keep telling myself, this isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. And I just try to make the best of this journey because it's the only way. The longer we are Adderall free, the stronger we will keep getting and remember this state of mind and state of being isn't permanent. You should be so proud of far you have gotten!

Thanks guys for all the input, it is much appreciated!

Hi there, I don't really know much about this topic but I wanted to reach out to you anyways. I do have experience with depression, anxiety and self harm though. My heart goes out to you as well and I'm happy you found us and this site, welcome with opened arms! Correct me if I'm wrong but I believe hair pulling is a method of self harm like cutting. You need to figure out the underlying problem what is causing this. But like I said I don't know much about it, I only saw a True Life episode once on Trichotillomania so I'm sorry if I sound ignorant, that is not my intentions. Have you tried doing something with your hands instead; like cooking, baking, drawing, lifting weights, sports, running, or anything like that? After reading your post, it seems like you have a bit of a self-esteem problem. Adderall could be making that worse. You should definitely seek help asap because there is hope and you can get better! I do not know you but you said (about your bf) "if he saw under my clothes and make-up any longer, we wouldn't have been together much longer anyways" and I don't believe that's true. He was probably with you because you are a beautiful person inside and outside. And if what your saying is in fact true then fuck him and why would you want to be with someone so shallow anyways. I love this quote by Charlie Chaplin "Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul." I was on ADHD meds for the last 7 years and have been clean the last 3 months. I'm still very new to this clean and healthy lifestyle but not long ago, like you -- I thought I would NEVER be able to stop taking or live without Adderall. But I am Adderall free now and way happier than I was on them. But it's still a struggle at the same time. I think you are way too hard on yourself and you seem to be under a lot of stress, you should try yoga and/or mediation to help with that. I have been getting great benefits and finding inner peace and self control from hot yoga. I have overcome a lot in my life (like everyone else on this site); I have had learning disabilities since 1st grade, I'm dyslexia, have ADHD, I got overweight from going threw puberty then got healthy, I have self harmed, I've been depression, I have anxiety, I've abused alcohol (while taking Adderall) and now I am trying to overcome my Adderall addiction. Whatever you are trying to break free of, you can and there is a way. You may just have not found it yet. And sometimes things are too hard and big too overcome yourself and that is when a doctor or talking to someone may help. But life is too short to be stuffering all the time, you deserve to be happy.

Marissa, that really scares me that the medical field doesn't understand the long term effects of long term use and/or abuse of Adderall. It makes me so mad, they just "up the dose" like it's no big deal. "You'll be fine" and it's not like it's highly addictive or anything… NOT. Adhd meds really don't fix any underlying problems or causes like you said, kind of like Xanax. I cannot believe (well, actually I can) the Vyvanse company wants to use it for binge eating disorder now. Tomorrow they will be like it also cures cancer. Yes it does not make one hungry but it also has a lot of terrible side effects like depression, anxiety, OCD, personality change, alcohol addiction and more, just to name a few. And that's so ironic since that article, Cassie posted yesterday links ADHD meds to obesity. It's like take this Adderall when your a child and then you become an adult with obesity then your doctor puts you on Vyvanse for binge eating disorder? This shit is just getting too confusing and too out of hand. News flash, every kid in the world has "ADHD" they are naturally hyper and bouncing off the walls, thats just how kids are. They have tons of energy. I honestly think doctors made ADHD meds just to chill out children then adults caught on. Even though I know it was created to use in war. I'm pretty embarrassed to admit this but I watch Pretty Little Liars, my little sister got me into this lame ass show for High Schoolers haha. I don't really watch it for the plot but for the fashion. The girls are literally supposed to be in High School but they go to school in full makeup, hair and dressed as if they work for Diane Von Furstenberg. I also watch Nashville and in the last month on both shows, a girl character has started taking Adderall for "energy" and becomes addicted and bad things start to happen to them. It's kind of crazy how mainstream this drug is and the effects it has on people and a lot of the public are aware of it but still doctors don't do anything about it and still write scribes. It really saddens me. At the end of the day, I know it's my fault I got into this mess and started, not only taking but abusing this drug but at the same time, I still feel like a victim. Like I was helpless. The perfect target. Adderall to me was Lois Lane to Superman. And I'm glad we broke up but my heart, body and mind is still somewhat broken. Adderall left a lot of scars and unhealed wounds, we all have to deal with now or "if you ignore them, they become triggers." It really worries and angers me that 3 months being clean off this shit, I'm still feeling like shit. And still will for like a year or so. I don't even take it anymore but I'm still having to deal with the repercussions. I feel like I'm a caterpillar in a cocoon, just waiting to become a beautiful butterfly. I feel weak and tired all the flipping' time. Don't get me wrong, I feel great at the same time, way happier and free and in control of my feelings more but way lazier. Unproductive, I get stuff done but I'm still in a fog. I'm happier but my mind is still in the clouds and not clearly thinking. I sleep 12 hours a night. It's a give and take, really. And it's starting to wear on me to put this recovery/healing process first because everything else is 2nd, 3rd, or 4th place on my list of things to do… I almost wish I never took Adderall to begin with so I wouldn't know what it feels like to have super powers, ever lasting energy, not have to sleep and be hungry. I still feel hunger all the time as well and I hate it. Sorry I am venting. I just have to keep truckin' and trying and living. Keep healing, thinking positivity and looking forward. Adderall is not an option, question or answer for me anymore. It is a big fuck you. I honestly want to make an Adderall voodoo doll and poke it with hundreds of pins but I think I will channel this frustration into something more positive like making art. I always believe good comes from something bad so the good from this is I'm still alive and I am stronger now. I know I can never take stimulants, besides coffee. Thank you guys for being here for me and listening.

Hi there CarolinaBlues, how are ya? I have to say, I couldn't agree more with the 2 lovely ladies above. I tried many times (in the last 7 years of using, before quitting) to take it only on "occasion" or every other day or only when I really needed it and it NEVER worked for me, the next day I was still poppin' those bitches like skittles. I guess I wasn't serious about quitting yet or didn't really want too or didn't have the right resources/support (like this website and yoga) to quit yet. You can't take or drink something on occasion if you quit it. You know. There are different methods to quitting, which works better for different people such as going cold turkey or weening off them slowly. If you are serious about quitting definitely tell your doctor you are and cut ties with how or whoever you get your meds from and don't keep it a secret, it's okay to tell people closest to you (your quitting) so they can help and support you. I remember one time in college, this must have been my 2nd year on them and in school, I was so over taking adderall and feeling crazy and drinking all the time and being so unhealthy and addicted to a pill, I got my new, full bottle in the mail and dumped them all in the toilet (sorry fishes, I feel like an asshole). And then 2 days later, I freaked out, thought I was going to fail school and called my mom, told her what I did and my doctor got me more pills… umm what? I don't think I would have a problem with depression or have had a problem with booze, if it wasn't because of Adderall but it's my own fault. I always say this but my only regret is not quitting them sooner. I honestly don't know if I would have been able to quit if it wasn't for this site and the people on it. It's a God sent and remember, the longer you wait to quit, the harder it is to quit but you can do it and we're here for you!

You guys have been doing AMAZING -- keep up the good work! Unfortunately, I've been slacking this week like really bad… My sister was here visiting for her spring break and I was on my "shark week" so I only went to Bikram yoga once this week and it was today and I'm doing a tea detox and I almost blacked out, I was really really dizzy and seeing stars lol but I'm still eating solid foods so I didn't think much of it. I think I didn't drink enough water or something. I'm gonna try to go at least 4 times this week. And hearing you guys talk about running, makes me want to get a run in as well. Ya'll are so freakin' inspiring I'm still sleeping 12 hours a night, every night… is this normal? Did you guys sleep this much the first 3 months after quitting? I'm getting worried, I feel this isn't normal or healthy. I don't know if it's because I make my own hours so I can sleep in if I desire but I really only want to be sleeping 8 hours a night. Any advice anyone?! Thanks in advance. Keep up the great work everyone!

I get daily e-mails from these 3 sites and sometimes they give me a little pick me up: - MindBodyGreen Daily (They also offer ecourses for meditation and other things) - The Daily Positive - The Universe: A Note from the Universe (I found out about this thanks to ZeroKewl!)

Sebastian, I wish you were feeling better than you are but know this time will pass. Nothing in life is certain and definitely not these feelings your having. They aren't permanent. It seems like you may be kind of in a little bit of a rut or funk. This happens to everyone and sucks but things will get better. It's just another bump in the road. Maybe you got to change things up or add a little spice to your life. That's awesome you just started Bikram yoga, I've been doing it for almost 2 months now and I love it, I'm not very good at it but I think it's my new addiction. It feels so good to be sweatin' out all those toxins. I definitely don't think the answer is pills though but what do I know, I'm on Zoloft myself and I think it has been helping. I started it back in October. After reading your post, from my perspective - you seem to be doing pretty damn great. You have a lot going for you (and you should be proud of yourself); a good job, a house, a new exciting city to explore. Maybe it's all about how you look at things. Or you may be feeling the Winter time blues. Your chemicals can still be messed up from the Adderall use. You said "Adderall did something for me that was amazing. It got rid of all my anxiety and really helped me focus and buckle down and confidently approach all of my responsibilities." I feel the same way but it also made me crazy, depressed and a drunk, all at the same time. Your having a problem with being positive - maybe you can try fakin' it till you make it. Thoughts become habits/actions so maybe start trying to think more positively little by little and that may become a habit/new thinking process for you. I suggest looking into cognitive therapy or getting a life couch possibly. Hey, it's worth a shot. About being bored, maybe check out Groupon or LivingSocial for some cool deals to new activities, events, or restaurants to try in Philly. Also, spring is just around the corner, maybe sign up for a co-ed kickball team on Sundays. I did this while in college in Savannah, GA and had a blast. We would bring beers and drink while playing and all go out to dinner afterwards together. It's a great way to meet new people. Just be open-minded and open to new experiences! Some people may think I'm off my rocker but I honestly think, thinking positively and surrounding yourself with positive people brings positive energy and karma your way and into your life. Around a year ago, I started cleaning my life of negativity/negative people and I've never been happier. I also believe in sending out positive energy and thoughts into the universe helps. Try not to dwell on the negative and when you start too, replace those thoughts with something positive or the opposite of what you were thinking. Half full not half empty. Okay enough with my hippie babble lol I just wanted to try to help. My boyfriend makes fun of me all the time and calls me "peace, love and sunshine" but I don't mind it, I kind of like that saying. Everything is gonna be okay!

Great job Gdtrfb. Don't worry -- that misery will pass. Hang in there. Allow yourself to heal and recover! And sleep. I've been sleeping 12 hours a night since quitting.

You guys are doing SO amazing, so inspiring…. keep up the good work! So I finally finished updating and editing my resume today and I applied to one job and already got an e-mail back for an interview! WOOT WOOT Gonna keep applying though, it may just be beginners luck.