Searchingsoul9

What is The Iron Man? I did a half marathon last May and it definitely helped build some confidence in my mental and physical abilities post Adderall. I am currently focusing on find a new baking job in Manhattan and dealing with moving and living in a new place where i don't know anyone-so that been exciting and nerve racking. I haven't felt any overwhelming desire to use since probably 8 months clean. I do think about how productive i was on it though and find myself missing that

K3ls99

"It was as if I could not bear the feeling of the drug wearing off anymore" "The reality (as I see it now) is that I have trained myself to be addicted to the whole ritual, including the withdrawal symptoms." These things you said hit home for me. I could totally relate to that when i was abusing. I would rather keep taking more and more than let the adderall high wear off. Also, i too was addicted to the ritual of it all. Refill, take 70mg one day, then 120, then 170, then 200, so on, run out, crash and burn, eat a ton, be clean for two weeks, JUST start to feel better and normal, promise to take the recommended dose, refill, repeat. I swear to you it will be a never ending cycle unless you make the conscious and final decision to quit. You said you confessed your addiction, was this to your psychiatrist? If so, that's the first step. Once you lose the connection you have no choice, but to quit. That's how i stopped for good too. You could do it alone, but it would be a lot more lonely, a lot harder, and a lot easier to relapse. I suggest you stick with us. Post as much as you need, be honest-to the people on this forum & to yourself. I am not sure if i ever would have decided to quit if not for this site. I definitely relapsed many times before i succeeded, but the support from this forum was immense. It's so great that you took that first step. It will get harder before it gets easier, but once after that it gradually gets easier and easier...until one day you wake up and the adderall abusing version of yourself if nothing but a very distant memory.

Congratulations on 19 months! I am very sorry to hear about all the troubles adderall brought into your life. That's heartbreaking. How long were you using?

So i have been clean for nearly one full year. I HEAVILY abused for 2.5-3 years. How long into your recovery did you feel significantly better? Should i expect even more progress or benefits after the one year mark? Or am i "fully recovered" ? That isn't worded how i want it, but can't think of another way to phrase the question. Thanks!

Great job! That's awesome. I too started adderall mainly for weight-loss and feared gaining it all back once i stopped, I was sickly thin on adderall and gained about 13 pounds over the course of a year and have just now dropped about 5 due to exercise and better eating. I'll admit, i miss my adderall body, but i know it was not realistic.

CONGRATSSSSSSSSSSSSS***

GONGRAATSSSS!!!! Did you still continue to feel change after the 1st year?

Annie, things are better after adderall because the happiness you feel will actually be real, not chemically induced. You also wont have mind numbing down periods when the drug begins to wear off. Your emotions will not be like a never ending rollercoaster. You will feel in control of your mind and your actions. You will no longer be poisoning your body, therefore it will be healthier-as well as your mind. You wont feel so unstable. You will not be euphoric and happy for a few hours just to feel depressed and restless for the rest of the day/night You will get a beautiful nights sleep!!! You will dream vivid dreams! You will speak your mind and say how you feel and say things that matter rather than be speedy and talkative and speaking of things that don't. You wont be happy 24/7, but you wont be feeling awful and sad either. You will have a steady and fluctuating range of REAL HONEST emotions. Just to name a few.

Blesbro, i am nearly a year sober and noticed that some of my ambition and motivation is JUST now coming back. Natural brain tingles and happy feelings and such. You said that one year of recovery for you was just the beginning...does that mean my life may get even better? Or that my brain is still a year later recovering from by heavy abuse? Thanks!

Hi there. I was abusing adderall for about 2.5-3 years. HEAVILY. up to 200mg a day. Running through my script within the first couple of weeks and then waiting in torment for my refill. I LIVED for adderall. It was my saving grace at first. I had dropped out of college at 18. Had no job, no motivation, just got out of an abusive relationship. Decided to fake ADD and get a script to lose weight and get some motivation. It helped me to find my passion for baking, get a new job (which i have been at for three years), and go to and complete my baking degree. But, i abused it. I binged, i drank loads of alcohol, smoked weed, partied, barely ate or slept. Needless to say it took its toll. I became paranoid, so depressed, manic, high and low-you get the point. I came here, tried to quit numerous times, failed. Tried again, succeeded. Here i am nearly a year later, adderall free. I'll be honest, it took some time for me to get my passion back. I worried i didn't really like baking, that it was just the drugged me that did. I had and still have self doubts, but i let go and never looked back. I am telling you, if i quit you can quit. I honestly was ready to die on adderall. Didn't care if i did. Now i am so grateful i got off of that horrible drug. My advice to you is to use this site to your advantage. Write a list of all the reasons why you need to quit-because you will forget why you quit once your a week or two sober. You'll romanticize your abuse and only recall the positives. If you can tell a friend or family member, do so. Have patience. Your energy and positivity will return. Don't expect to do things (your job, school, writing, exercising) at the same crazy high level you did on adderall. That was a drug induced state. A sober human is not naturally that freaking motivated or excited to be working or cleaning all the time. Be good to yourself. Do not talk down to yourself. With time, you will feel natural happiness again. Your brain needs time to repair the damage. But it will. You have to be willing to let the drug go completely. I have faith in you.

My bad, i didn't read the other comments until now. You're over two week sober, congrats!

Hi. I personally think you should give it 8-12 months before you decide whether or not you need to find an alternative medication. I know that seems like ages, but your body and mind have become accustom to this drug and it takes a long time to mentally adjust to life without adderall. I know you are not abusing it frequently or on crazy high dosages, but any amount of amphetamine is going to perk you up and give you that focus and energy-so once you stop using it you are going to feel lethargic and tired. Personally, it took me like 6 or 7 months to find some natural motivation. Not saying i just slept and layed in bed all day, i just didn't have that super motivated ambition i once did on adderall. Maybe this was because i was smoking pot, maybe if i had just stayed 100 percent sober i'd have bounced back quicker. Not sure. Anyway, i recommend taking it easy the first week or so. Then slowly try to get back into stuff you like. Writing music for example. Just don't expect that endless creative flow you once had on adderall. That flow WILL return, just not right away. Patience is key, be kind to your body and know that you can achieve anything & you wont need adderall to do it.

That makes me so happy! Each day is a battle, but i promise it gets easier and easier. xo

Thank you so much! I feel like a completely different person. Still struggling with some pot usage, but it's getting easier to be completely sober each day. How are you??

Hey everyone. I found myself really missing this site tonight. I have been clean from adderall for almost one year. It seems like it has been so much longer than that. It honestly feels like a lifetime ago that i was shoveling pill after pill down my throat. Although i do not miss the adderall (except on occasion when i wish to feel that euphoria and focus that it fleetingly brought) i do miss the love and support i received from this community. I honestly do not think i would have gotten off the pills if not for this site. My method was probably not the wisest one. I quit. Cold turkey. And vowed never to allow my mind to wander into adderall land. I finally feel safe enough, a year later to actually think about what i was doing and why. I wouldn't even let myself look at pictures of me while i was on adderall...for fear it would trigger a memory and a desire to use again. I am not sure why i am posting, except to say thank you to everyone. And also, i would love to be of any help to anyone currently struggling with this awful addiction. I am no expert, just a girl who went through the hell you may be living in now. Would love to lend a hand and help spark even the tiniest flame of hope inside you. I NEVER thought i would quit. And if i did it, each and every one of you can and will do it too.

So, I haven't been on here since I quit about 9 months ago. Not sure if the same people are sill here. The reason I stopped coming on was because even thinking of adderall made me want some, but as of two nights ago I feel that I really am done with the stuff. I quit cold turkey. Ended ties with my psychiatrist. Told my family and some friends. It was hard, but worth it. I won't lie, I thought about finding some a few months ago but knew I better not. Anyhow, I did what I was told was Molly two nights ago with my friend. Semi excited and hoping it would be like adderall. Took it, felt nothing for an hour. Then felt speedy for like half an hour. Typical chatty, grinding teeth, annoying, can't sleep... And instead of loving it I hated it! I forgot how much I hated lying in bed for hours wishing I could shut my brain off. And then feeling like death the next day. I am actually happy I did Molly. Or whatever it was. It made it crystal clear that my adderall days are really over. It's been a hard journey. And no, I am not happy go lucky everyday. But I'm not terribly miserable like I was during an adderall crash. I have good and bad days. Sometimes great ones. And I suppose that's how life was meant to be lived.

Day like 38 or 40, not sure! Haven't craved it much yet. Just yesterday, i dont allow myself to think about it ever though. Im afraid if i do i will romanticize it and miss the adderall.

Day 25. Been super duper sick. Either bronchitis or pneumonia...going to doctor tomorrow.

Day 20 down, been MIA Bad week. Havent been very healthy

This was my cycle. I think it is a lot of our cycles. I tend to forget why i quit after 4 weeks as well. I am on week 2 and i still can recall exactly why i stopped. I know i will crave it again in the near future, so i made a list of all the reasons why i quit. You should try it too. Make a Pro and Con list. My list had like 20 cons and 2 pros. Try to make it as specific as possible. Also, keep in mind that after being back on it for like 3 days (if you're like me) the effects will stop working. Even when i was off for 3 months, going back on for a week put my tolerance right back where it was when i quit. I know it's hard, but it is possible. What has helped keep me clean is running. The endorphins i gain from exercise helps counteract the depression that comes with quitting. It gives me a natural 'high' if you will. Not a high, but a happy feeling. Better than adderall even, because this happy feeling is real and can last. Nothing on adderall will ever last. Just keep posting on here

Day 14/week 2 down! How are you?

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing work. Keep it up. So glad you have gotten out of the binge cycle. I had a bad day of it as well, know it sucks. Keep up the good work!!!

Sorry. Wasn't trying to victimize or offend anyone. I just mean, two if my close friends had ADHD. Bad. Well doctors said it was bad. But I thought their hyperactive personalities were wonderful. It made concentration difficult for them, but they become zombies on adderall. I should've phrased my words differently. I just meant there are other, non stimulant ways to treat attention disorder and that doctors push this unhealthy stimulant on kids as young as like 6. Sorry again quote name="JustinW" post="12465" timestamp="1383749750"] I disagree and I find this somewhat offensive. Adderall is a bad solution to a real problem. You may be the victim of an overprescribed culture but there are those of us with real issues that you have just marginalized. My diagnosis is a noteable deficiency in my visual processing ability, there are things I can do to boost that ability a couple of points but the gap in this area will still be significant. Of the different flavors of ADHD, this one sees the least benefit from any type of drug.

Staying up for long hours and feeling all tweaked out. I hate this regardless, but it reminds me of having 2 hours of sleep on adderall and picking my skin all fucking day and being a pissed off brat. I did fucking everything addied out though, so i have to overcome most of the memories i have of doing things addied out.