LILTEX41

Awe, quitonce..you just made my night!! I tried to like your post, but I got a funny error message that said I'd already reached my quota of positive votes for the day. WTF, lol?! Um, in my little texan world positive votes are LIMITLESS! That needs to be changed immediately! Anyhow, I am so happy for you quitonce. That is so amazing! 20 months is freaking bad ass!! I was thinking last night about just how awesome our little community is here. I think as time goes on more and more people will come forward wanting help to get off this stuff and just know we all get to be the original group to help people....well..it's simply just fabulous! I finally feel like I'm getting closer and closer to my life's purpose and I know that everything I went through was for a reason. I have to just keep following my heart and intuition about all the things I crave and am passionate about in life. I trust that there is this amazing path for all of us ahead. And I am a firm believer in that the closer we stay bonded, united, holding hands to overcome our struggles...we will survive and make it through to the other side of happy destiny. I was lying in bed last night and all I could keep thinking about was that guy in VA who hung himself over this shit. How I wish he could've found us and we could've helped him, you know? I just pray if there are more people like him...lurking these boards and needing help, I pray they have the courage to start posting. I pray that they would just pour their hearts out to us and get honest with themselves. Like I said the other night...it took me 5 relapses in 2 years time before I finally got clean. But the thing that inspired me the most was Mike and this website. I was so grateful I had somewhere to turn when I needed help. I don't believe I would've ever quit for good had it not been for what he has created here. It was so inspiring. And so in this I pray that one by one we can pass the torch of recovery onto everyone that has a desire to find a life without adderall. That is the beauty of this community. Godspeed friends.

Ok, guys. WOW. This breaks my heart reading this because I know you are so close if not already back on the pills today. I know because this is exactly the way I felt everytime I relapsed. Rationalizing the drug. Missing the euphoria. Recalling all the sweet easy times and FORGETTING all the painful agony of it ripping at your self confidence during this midst of irresistible cravings which feel insatiable as you are having them. I understand this and my heart goes out to you because I wish I could wrap you up in my arms and protect you from doing that very thing which you have set out not to do. But I also know this is your journey and if you need to take another stab at it, then that's what you are going to do. But I also know...if you muscle through this right now...if you just hold on for one more day...you can get through this..and in time your life is going to get better. It WILL get easier. You will FIGURE IT OUT. Repeat this phrase, "I WILL FIGURE IT OUT. KEEP MOVING MOVING FORWARD." I was sitting here just now journaling and I had an amazing revelation. After our chat last night..I was reflecting back on what my life was like on adderall. And suddenly I got this amazing surge / crazy idea if you will....that what I need to do is live everyday like I did while I was on adderall. What I mean by this..is I remember the joy I had in every single task at hand. I remembered how much I loved doing my tasks. And what I need to do now is that I need to execute everyday like this. I need to wake up in the morning and start picking things up and train myself to carry out one task at a time. I need to treat everything in front of me as a challenge/goal and not let things distract me. I need to make my to do lists and I need to stay on task because I know how great it used to feel everytime I'd get all my tasks completed in the day. I'd feel like I had super human strength. I remember how rewarding that feeling was and that is what made me love adderall so much. It made me feel so super competent and victorious. I can and I will achieve that feeling again tomorrow. It is my goal and I am excited about it. My life was exciting back then because it was amusing to see just how much I could get done in one day. And it could be anything...from cleaning, to shopping, to making blankets, doing a home improvement project, whatever, I just knew how great I felt being super productive. So that is my challenge to you. Try it for one day. You tell yourself you are CAPABLE, SUCCESSFUL, BRILLIANT, COMPETENT, A BAD ASS, AND YOU HAVE SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH. You don't need those stupid f-king pills! YOU GOT THIS. I have FAITH IN YOU. Lea, You can do this girl. Don't give up. I still struggle with the eating thing too at times, but one thing I know...adderall is not the answer. It will cause you more harm, depression, and unhappiness if you use the drug like I did. I remember at my weakest moments...when I got down to a size 0...and you know what kind of guys I attracted....a-hole using drug addicts! I was one and I fell for one...and he used the crap out of me. And I'll tell ya something....he said something to me one night...after I kicked him out of my apartment with all his crap....you know what he said??? He said, "you will not EVER find anyone. You need to take a good hard look in the mirror. Your jaw shakes like a meth head. You're not even pretty!" ....so yeah.....I quit adderall a few days later after that incident...started working out...got in shape for 3 months...then work stress....MAJOR WORK STRESS. I had the same kinds of thoughts both of you guys are having now....3 months of serious working out ...up to running 9 miles a day..quit smoking and drinking, etc..and ya know what? ADDERALL BENDER FROM HELL. Within 3 weeks I landed back in the emergency room for the 2nd time. So...hey, I'm just sayin'..be careful what you wish for. It's not worth it. But what do I know? Ok, I gotta go to bed, but I'm keeping you both in my prayers tonight. GODSPEED FRIENDS! Prayers for you tonight my friend and big (((Hugs)))!

I agree it's definitely a great thing to come here often as a good reminder. That is an awesome end to a dream!! So empowering. Love it! How long have you been clean now?

You guys, I just woke up from a horrible nightmare! After all that talk about adderall last night, I had this dream I went back on the meds. We were all playing basketball and everyone thought I was clean. However, I'd secretly started taking adderall again and I was taking a TON of it. Halfway through the dream I realized I was in fact lying to everyone about my clean time and I started to panic. It was SO F-ING HORRIBLE to feel and realize I was back on those stupid pills!!! I woke up and was like, "YES!!!! I didn't relapse! Thank GOD. Just wanted to share. You guys are AWESOME! Your ADD is your gift. Always remember that! Hugs everyone!

Let me know if you have any questions. I will be more than happy to help. I LOVE Smart!! Best thing that ever happened to me and changed my sobriety outlook for the first time in 20 years. I tried sobriety for 20 years and this is the longest I've EVER been sober. Just celebrated 27 months yesterday. Thanks to Smart!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to share what I consider the best recovery program out there. Ok, maybe I'm a little biased, but honestly, this program has changed my life. It's called SMART Recovery. All you need to do to sign up is register for a username and password. They have daily online meetings which are really great. Come check it out sometime! "Discover the Power of Choice!" SMART Recovery® is the leading self-empowering addiction recovery support group. Our participants learn tools for addiction recovery based on the latest scientific research and participate in a world-wide community which includes free, self-empowering, science-based mutual help groups. The SMART Recovery 4-Point Program® helps people recover from all types of addiction and addictive behaviors, including: drug abuse, drug addiction, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, gambling addiction, cocaine addiction, prescription drug abuse, and problem addiction to other substances and activities. SMART Recovery sponsors face-to-face meetings around the world, and daily online meetings. In addition, our online message board and 24/7 chat room are excellent forums to learn about SMART Recovery and obtain addiction recovery support. Our 4-Point Program® The SMART Recovery® 4-Point Program® offers tools and techniques for each program point: 1: Building and Maintaining Motivation 2: Coping with Urges 3: Managing Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviors 4: Living a Balanced Life Our Approach • Teaches self-empowerment and self-reliance. • Provides meetings that are educational, supportive and include open discussions. • Encourages individuals to recover from addiction and alcohol abuse and live satisfying lives. • Teaches techniques for self-directed change. • Supports the scientifically informed use of psychological treatment and legally prescribed psychiatric and addiction medication. • Works on substance abuse, alcohol abuse, addiction and drug abuse as complex maladaptive behaviors with possible physiological factors. • Evolves as scientific knowledge in addiction recovery evolves. • Differs from Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous and other 12-step programs. Recognition SMART Recovery® is a recognized resource for addiction recovery by the American Academy of Family Physicians, the Center for Health Care Evaluation, The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), US Department of Health and Human Services, and the American Society of Addiction Medicine. You can get more information here!

Oh fun! I had no idea. Who's leading the meeting?

Thanks for posting the article!

So sorry guys!! I didn't mean to trigger anyone.

I hear you sister. You can do this though. I'm still working on the eating normally without my favorite diet pill - adderall. My weight has bounced all over the place since I went off of it...hence, why I wouldn't give it up for so long. But along this journey for me, I am slowly learning the concept of intuitive eating. I have ups and downs with it, but I firmly believe it is the answer. I know eventually I'll get it, but it's going to take time. The positive note is hey, at least there is a solution! Don't give up! Your life will improve so much! And by the way, if it helps you feel better, you've totally helped brighten my day already this morning! Life is still challenging off adderall at times, (but NOTHING like it was before) and it helps me to come here and read stories like yours because it helps me to remember that bad dark time period of my life. It makes me feel so GOOD to be at where I'm at today even if it's not where I want to be quite yet....at least I can see all the progress I've made since I've been clean for 2 years and 3 months as of 2.12.13, but who's counting? lol I just wanted to reach out to you because today is day 1 and thought you could use some support. So don't worry if you feel like right now. At least you'll stop feeling lke . GOOD days are ahead my friend! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! HUGS!

Want to hear more about TEVA... http://www.aboutlawsuits.com/generic-adderall-recall-barr-dextroamphetamine-amphetamine-5459/

Great job! Give yourself a big pat on the back my friend. You completed your first task off adderall and got a 100%. Just imagine the limitless opportunities that are available to you now. You can have a fun filled life free from adderall obsession and conquer your goals. Pretty awesome stuff. Also, just remember that rome wasn't built in one day. Take baby steps in the beginning and make sure to revel in every accomplishment no matter how small. Dwell in this place for as long as you can and build on it with every new victory and obstacle overcome without the use of adderall. Thanks for sharing!

What a positive message! Love to see all the improvement taking place now that you're clean. Awesomeness!

Occasional1, I have been remembering your crappy advice all week. As I've been agonizing over minor details of things at work, I've now at least aware of it and trying to force myself to make a decision and move on. Great advice!! Love it!

Wow everyone! This list is awesome! Love all your ideas! Krax, I'm downloading that app now Quit Once- Love that you use food and hunger as motivation. Great idea! And the visualization piece with the chore/task an outstanding concept as well. I am going to start using these tools. Cassie - wow, we have so much in common. I remember we discussed our relationships awhile back...so now we are the same age, sober, and trying to figure out what to do with our lives. Maybe we are related or something, lol. LOVE what you said about being receptive to new messages...and God, I know what you mean by the more you chase after something, the more it eludes you. My problem is that I am extremely impatient. I go about 90 mph when I have a new idea and I won't stop until I have an answer, but like you said, that is most likely a big part of the problem. I'm definetely going to read that article you posted as soon as I get done responding. Thank you! Motivation - Wow, even more great tips! Love the 10 min tidy up and laundry idea! I need to do that like now, lol. And I am def going to check out the website you mentioned. Again, thank you everyone! I was shocked by all the responses I got back on this just now and so excited to have so many new ideas. Maybe I should focus on doing 1 of them at a time. I say keep em' coming. Thanks again!

Emmapea, I agree with the Sky and Krax! But I definitely recommend getting outdoors as soon as you have some energy. I don't know where you live and what the weather is like, but there is just something about being in the outdoors that is revitalizing for the spirit - especially during the early stages of recovery. Just like Occasional mentioned above, I totally remember feeling the same way about being "too busy" for stuff like that. Nothing existed outside of my adderallic trance as far as I knew. The most important thing was maintaining that adderall high and laser sharp focus on whatever task I was doing at the moment. It's funny he brought this up today because I had a few bad weeks recently and had not been outdoors whatsoever. Today I finally got on my bike for the first time in months and it was AWESOME. Of course, it was like 70 degrees and all, but it was SO MUCH fun just riding around and listening to music. Definitely one of my favorite activities! But yeah, don't worry, your energy will come back...just give it time. Hugs!

Emily, message me anytime you need to talk! I'll send you a friend request on fbk. You can do this! I've been sober for 26 months. I know what you mean about not having many support people that can relate with this addiction. Would love to help in any way I can. Hugs! Erin

I LOVE reading posts like this! You definitely made me just now. So happy for you! Congrats on your new fabulous life! Hugs!

Hi, everyone! So yesterday it dawned on me that post-adderall recovery can be challenging at times if I am not actively staying on top of my ADD. I've read some articles with great recovery tips, however, I tend to do good for awhile after reading such articles, and then slowly find myself in the same patterns because I forget about the articles/tips because I get too distracted with everything else. LOL Gotta love ADD! So I thought I'd start a thread today and call it - ADDERALL RECOVERY TIPS. I'm hoping everyone could share what they are currently doing or plan on doing if you decide to do the unthinkable and QUIT ADDERALL. Crazy idea, I know! BUT I think it would be really cool if we could generate a GIANT list of RECOVERY tips for one another. It's one thing to read an article by the guru's out there, but it's another thing to go to the people with the problem and find out what's helped them. PLUS, considering everyone most likely has ADD on this site, we have got to be the MOST CREATIVE group of people out there! I'm sure if we put our heads together, we could generate some amazing type of amazing guide to make recovery easier. Who's in? For example, I'll start with my own battle. POST ADDERALL RECOVERY PROBLEM: Staying ORGANIZED / STRUCTURED Description: In recovery, (it's been 26 months now - whoooo hooo!) I struggle with 2 things: 1. Chores 2. What I want to do with my life 1) Chores Two weeks ago, I did an overhaul cleaning job on my apartment. It took me four days. I decluttered, got rid of stuff, reorganized my cabinets, mopped floors, etc. However, my apartment is out to get me as it has managed to slowly spread my junk around again! A pile of shoes by the door, a stack of mail by the counter, unfolded laundry, 4 cases of empty diet pepsi boxes in the kitchen, etc. I hate being messy and I can't think with this crap everywhere. I realize if I keep on top of these chores everyday, I won't have to have another 4 day cleaning spree. 2) What to do with my life The second issue I have is figuring out what I want to do with my life. This has beeh a question for a good 20 years, but at least now I really have a shot on actually doing it as I'm clean and no longer have a drug / alcohol addiction getting in the way. As I've thought about this debate over the past 2 years, I tend to hop from one thing to the next. I get excited about something one week, research it, become hyper focused about it, and then the next week I forget all about it and I'm on to something else. I created a list of all the things I enjoy and would like to pursue, but I still don't exactly know the answer. POST ADDERALL RECOVERY SOLUTION: 1) Daily TO DO PLAN This is the MOST critical thing I MUST do in adderall recovery. I am SUPER SUCCESSFUL whenever I create a plan for the next day the night before. I realize my life gets out of hand when I forget to do it or get too busy. So what I do is I keep an excel spreadsheet of what I plan to do the next day. I have every hour planned. I use one of the columns to make a 'to do' list and then devise a plan / time for each task. I keep it on my laptop, my refrigerator eraser board, make a note card, and/or email it to myself so I can have it with me all throughout the day. Without this structure I tend to not get much of anything done. I highly suggest making this a top priority in your life if you don't already! 2) Narrow down the focus of your goals and pick the top 1 - 2 goals I learned this tip last week in a Smart recovery meeting. I finally did this and I am super excited because I now feel like I am ready to execute my plan. This is by far the best advice I've gotten in a long time. I have SO many things I want to do in life and recently I realized I wasn't getting anywhere because I was putting my toe in a little bit of everything rather than executing any one particular plan. This took some time, but I came up with the 2 most important recently and now I am going to devise an all out action plan for each of these goals. It's not that I am not doing the others, but I'm going to work on these first. Once I have my plan/design for each goal, I am going to schedule the tasks into my daily and weekly plan. This is why my daily to do plan is critical. If I don't have a plan, I get too caught up in the world of electronic media, social functions, and just life really. Last May I completed Ironman Texas. I was SUPER FOCUSED and I did excellent, but that was because I had a PLAN. I logged into my trainingpeaks account everyday and knew exactly what I was supposed to do (I had a coach who uploaded my schedule every 3 weeks). I HAD to stay on top of everything else in my life or else I wouldn't be able to manage the plan. BUT once it was over my life sort of fell apart because my goal was completed and the schedule was gone. I realize now how great of a tool that was for me and if I want to accomplish anything in life like that again, it would be in my best interest to mimic the process and go for it. Ok, so that's my tip! I really hope some of you will join me on this quest. Remember, sharing is CARING. Hugs friends!

Yes ma'am! I was wondering if that was you!!! I am SOOO happy to hear you are doing so well. And you have 9 months CLEAN! Whooooo hoooo!!! Did you end up going to rehab? Meetings? So proud of you girl!!!

Lea, I know exactly what you mean! You describe the adderall coma so well! Wasting precious time on activities that are meaningless really...I remember that. I remember suddenly realizing hours had gone by and feeling alone. One time I sat on the computer for 5 hours straight or more working on an excel spreadsheet for work. I was not at work. I should've been outdoors, working out, socializing with friends, watching a movie, reading a book, or engaged in some type of social activity. Instead I was isolating at home alone FOCUSED on creating a masterpiece for the office. How sad...thinking back on it now. Anyhow, it took me many trys to get off adderall. I found this site in 2007 or 2008 thank God. I didn't finally quit until Nov 2010. Wherever you're at on your journey is OK. Nobody has to quit adderall. After all the doctor's do prescribe it for a reason. Honestly, I don't know if I ever would have been able to quit had it not been for my 2 trips to the ER and a car crash. I was that addicted to it that although bad crazy things kept happening....I STILL couldn't fathom giving it up. It's not an easy task, but you can do it IF you decide you ever want to. You know....it's funny, but I realized the other day how much I DON'T miss it. This thought came to me and it REALLY surprised me. I was thinking about it because I'm doing an article in a magazine that's coming out in a month or so and I was remembering how physically exhausted I was all the time. I remember that I never slept, never ate, chain smoked, and drank like a fish. I am so healthy now. I sleep 8 hours a night. Food tastes AMAZING. I love food now. I feel well rested and just balanced more than anything. I remember the happiness you are referring to. It's the first hour the pill kicks in. I remember how it would put me in the BEST mood EVER. I would be bouncing off the walls...jackhammer speech, and LOVING life. But then....the come down...around 4 hours later....almost like a gradual hangover setting in....hmmm....pop another adderall....WHOOOO HOOO!! Back to LOVING life again! Cycle - Repeat...oh shit, it's been 2 days and I haven't gone to sleep yet. Drink alcohol....A LOT, smoke pot, pass out. Wake up feel horrible. Pop an adderall. WHOOOO HOOO!!! Cycle - repeat. Wow, that's hard living. It does feel good to not be on that roller coaster today, but just know I understand where you are coming from. It is a hard to let go. So don't for now...and just come hang out on this site....and know there is a support team here if you ever do want to try and quit. Hugs!

I am just now reading all the responses and I love you guys! Ashley, how are you doing???????? Are you OKAY?! Would love to hear an update on your progress along with anyone else out there who is struggling. You guys CAN do this! It gets easier! Hugs! Lil tex

Whittering, You CAN do this!!! Do NOT give up! It gets easier, I promise! I have been clean from adderall for 1 year and 8 months, but who's counting? I just typed out my story about the first time I overdosed. It's horrific and looking back I do not miss adderall even in the slightest bit today. I hate it. How sad to think I wasted six years of my life being wrapped up in it's grips. Going over my story made me remember what it felt like to be on it again. I would not go back to that ever again. Joy and happiness compared to being a robotic zombie. It puts you in a trance and there is so much more to life today. It's like my eyes are open and I am cognicent of the sun if that makes any sense. I no longer bounce from task to task to task ignoring the rest of the world. I smile today. I am healthy. I eat well, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and I no longer have cycling moods of highs/low (you know HAPPY BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS WHEN IT FIRST KICKS IN/down and depressed and irritable as hell when it wears off). My suggestion is to start coming up with some dreams for your life. Find something you are passionate about and go after it. Do your dreams include taking adderall for the rest of your life? Do you really want to be a slave to it again? What if you could find alternative solutions to your problems without taking adderall? Would you reconsider? I promise, things will work themselves out in the end. What you are experiencing is just a little road bump in your recovery. Make a pro's and con's list. Post it if you'd like. I will help you in any way I can. Here's how it works. This is a tool I use from a recovery group I'm in. It's called a CBA for cost benefit analysis. Take a look if you get a chance. And remember, "The road of a thousand miles begins with one step." You are already like 200 steps in! http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/library/Tools_and_Homework/Quick_Reference/CBA_Worksheet.pdf

Hi Jared! I'm so sorry I am just now responding. I am crazy busy right now and will continue to be so until May 19th. Actually, I could do Monday or Tuesday next week in the evening? Let me know if you're free.

Ashley, I want to take back what I said about going to rehab. I don't think it's necessary to go to rehab to quit. If you have a high enough resolve and you are serious about quitting, you can do it! For me, it worked this time, but I did go to outpatient a long long time ago and it didn't then. I think it comes down to how bad you really want to stop. If you want to quit, you will. I promise you that! Just google how to quit drinking without AA and you'll get all kinds of feedback. Hope this helps!