quit-once

You're right about those factors affecting recovery time.....how long you used, how much you took. how old you are, and overall health are THE main factors affecting adderall recovery. Around here, most members would agree that recovery takes longer than a year. I felt about 85% recovered after a year and over 95% recovered after three years. Things just gradually get better with time away from the drug but recovery isn't a linear process so there are the usual ups and downs of life and you can handle things better the longer you have been quit. I am not an avid reader. But, I remember it was about 18 months after quitting that I read my first book cover to cover. Maybe my recovery time was slower from the nine years of Adderall abuse at higher dosages and being middle aged. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on finding your freedom 2.5 months ago. My definition of "speed" became altered while I abused Adderall. All of my addie buddies would not let me call it that. Amphetamine is speed. Just because it is a legal pill does not lessen its ability to cause great harm to your life. Adderall made me very careless and prone to injury, although I never broke bones over it. I believe that Adderall abuse weakens your body (from the lack of sleep, poor eating habits and other chemical/structural changes) and this becomes more evident the older you get. You did the right thing by dissing your addiction. Just be prepared for a couple of years of recovery in your future, and you will be tempted to relapse more than once. And remember that it only takes ONE PILL to send you back into user mode. Is it worth it? Hell yes!

Hi Thomas, My Adderall history is very similar to yours in terms of dosages and years of use. And while I did not experience the issues you are having at 18 months, the struggle continued well into my third year of recovery, although it just gradually kept getting better after my first nine months away from that awful drug. One of my favorite quotes from this forum (from Cassie) is that recovery is not a linear process. Another quote (from John) is that recovery is a function of how long you used it, how much you were taking, and your age. I have discovered three supplements that I feel really helped my mind to recover from years of Adderall abuse: L-Tyrosine, fish oils, and lions mane mushroom. And I still go back to them from time to time when I feel the brain fog or depression returning. I took all of the above even today, and I have had an incredibly productive day in a good mood. Have you considered seeing a counselor for some of your issues? A good counselor can really help you get to the bottom of things like relationship challenges and self-doubt. On the bright side, I didn't read anything in your post that said you were considering a relapse. Stay strong, it will get better if you put some effort into fine-tuning your recovery tools.

Welcome, Senplate. I can totally relate to the above statement. I, too, was cognitively challenged towards the end of my addiction. You have a lot of really good reasons to quit and the sooner the better. Cold turkey worked well for me. Adderall was tearing up my body and my mind and I really had no choice but to quit if I wanted a quality future. I was 48 when I quit and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Awesome game you developed. ZK. I went broke after two days. About six months after quitting, I became a Certified Pool Operator. It was a two day class with a lot of math and a certification exam. It was a pretty minor achievement, but it felt good at the time, to know that my brain was not permanently fried. I can think of two members who have done well academically after quitting: Ashley6 finished up her bachelors degree and got a job, all in about two years after quitting. Greg is finishing up his masters degree in business school and he has been quit for 4+ years. There are many others too. Most of the time they move on( beyond recovery and posting on this web site) and you don't hear much from them again.

I think the term "gateway drug" is an addiction looking for a scapegoat. However, being under the influence of Adderall led me to some poor decisions, including the use of other hard drugs. I almost became addicted to Ativan. I smoked way too many cigarettes. I smoked a lot of spice and weed. And I tried some other drugs that now make me cringe. But my desire for alcohol really diminished on Adderall. So, I believe that being high on Adderall led to bad judgment and poor decisions regarding other drugs, but not in a "gateway drug" kind of way.

Congratulations for your new-found freedom. I remember that feeling of relief after I decided to quit. It is a totally unsustainable addiction. Admitting your addiction to others and cutting off the pill supply are two huge steps that will ensure your success and recovery. Put your addiction and the Adderall habits in the rearview mirror and move forward.

I am delighted to hear from you again, SearchingSoul! So proud of you for the successful Quit. You struggled with this addiction for a long while, and I remember your journey while you were sharing your daily challenges with us. Thanks for the update and a big Congratulations for a year free from Adderall and all the positive changes that brings.

I was in my 40's during most of my addiction. I quit when I was 48. I like your very specific goal of finding self confidence in doing things on your own. Not something you can force, so you do indeed have to find your own confidence. In my experience and that of many forum contributors, the self confidence issue was particularly slow to return. My self confidence started coming back during the second year of my recovery, and I still struggle with some issues regarding confidence and motivation that I didn't have pre-Adderall.

The only amphetamine success stories you will encounter are the new users. I have never heard of a long term relationship with amphetamines or any other kind of speed ending well. I like your idea of forgoing all drugs. Sometimes we need them, like antibiotics, but taking any drug over many, many years just seems like a bad idea to me.

I burnt my last Adderall pill in a bonfire. Go for it!

It's really pretty simple, Blake. An Adderall addiction is unsustainable. Can you see yourself on Adderall the rest of your life? If not, welcome to the forum and good luck with your Quit.

The only way I became my old self or my true self was to quit speed. Welcome to the forum.

I quit having those obsessive Adderall thoughts about nine months after quitting. Glad to hear that you have turned the corner, AlswysAwsome.

And then I say to myself: "oh yea, and it quit working for THAT too...." Adderall quit working for EVERYTHING that I originally took it for, and actually worked against me in most cases. Makes it pretty easy to stay quit.

Have you read into the supplements forum? There are a lot of different things you can take that will naturally restore your mental function and cognition. For me, a high quality fish oil supplement has been the key to restoring memory and cognition. Lions mane for mental clarity and L-Tyrosine for a better mood. Five hour energy or B-12 under the tongue for instant energy and red bull gives me the wings I need for performance.

Nine years on Adderall and 3+ years of post-Adderall freedom.

This paragraph sums up your whole post very well, and it illustrates the love-hate relationship we all had (have) with speed. Adderall has sent you into psychosis TWICE and you are still considering a relapse? I don't get it. So you sit at home with your kids, doing "nothing"? At least you are fully present and doing your best job as a MOM. On Adderall, you will again become a human doing instead of a human being.....is that what you really want? Please don't go back, for the sake of your kids and your own mental stability. You have been on and off Adderall for 12 years. You have been off it for two years and, from what I can tell, you have escaped without a long term permanent side effect or drug-induced disability. Why do you want to risk your health and your future for some short term drug-induced motivation? I enjoyed reading your post, and welcome to the forum. I really hope you find the strength and wisdom to stay off speed for the rest of your life. It's not just your life.....your three kids will be better off with a mom who is not also a drug addict.

Absolutely, and it works. When I first quit I got these "thermo burst hard core" energy pills from GNC. Loaded with caffeine, carnatine and other herbal stimulants. Every time I would crave Adderall, I would take a couple of those pills. More than two was overstimulation. It satisfied my energy deficit, but more importantly, it fulfilled the need to take a pill when I felt like I was lacking something. I took them pretending they were speed. I still do this, just not as often. Instead of caffeine pills, I take a couple of fish oil capsules, or maybe a couple of lions mane, maybe an L-tyrosine or some combination of the above and slam it with a red bull. Sometimes I simply slam a red bull when I feel like I need or want those "wings". I accept the fact I will always feel the need for speed. And as long as I am not taking an evil DRUG, then anything goes. Pretending to be on Adderall works well, as long as you don't give the Adderall part of the game too much thought or desire.

Reminds me of an experience last weekend. My (ex) dealer sent me a text message out of the blue asking me if I wanted any "addy". At first it disturbed me. Then it pissed me off. Then I forgot about it for a few hours. Later, I thought about it again, but this time in a curious, maybe, "what if" frame of mind. I realized that train of thought was no good, so... I immediately located my phone and deleted the message (I had already deleted his number years ago). I considered sending a reply requesting he delete my number as well, but I just wanted to get rid of it ASAP, and I don't do text messages very well. Instant relief.

Somehow, I missed reading your original post last summer. When it came back up a few days ago, I read the entire thread. I am so glad that your Quit was successful and that you are still hanging around this community. Recovery from an Adderall addiction is a long and slow process and it really helps to stay connected with others going through it too.

My attempts to quit were fairly lame and half-assed. My approach to quitting and staying quit is presented in my original post of How I Quit Adderall, and here is the link......http://forum.quittingadderall.com/topic/142-how-i-quit-adderall/. A couple of things from your post I want to directly respond to. Most importantly, you need to make a plan to quit and follow it like your life depends on it. THE most important thing you will ever do for yourself. And there must be a significant consequence for failure. Relapse itself is not a consequence, it is a failure of willpower. So, what will happen if you fail again? Will you check yourself into an in-patient rehab? Even if it costs you money you may not have? Even if it means others will learn of your addiction? Even if you have to take time off work or lose your job? Just how important is it to you that you finally get off the shit for good? About six months before quitting, I researched the subject, both here and elsewhere on the internet. I printed pages and pages of discussion from forums like this and what I learned was that everybody relapsed, even years after quitting. I found very little hope that people got off it and stayed off it for good. Avoiding a relapse was so important for me that I made my screen name Quit Once because I would be too ashamed to use that name again if I ever relapsed. I guess that one reason I hang around here, even 3+ years after quitting, is to offer the new quitters hope that it can be done. I believe there are a lot of people who kick this addiction, but we don't often hear from them because they have successfully moved on with their lives. So my advice is to do your research, build a toolbox, and make a rock solid plan to quit. Timing matters, so plan your quit when the disruptions to your life will be less adverse. Have significant penalties and consequences that you intend to enforce upon yourself if you do indeed fail again. Have at least one really big reward planned for when you do succeed. And quit like your entire future and well being is at stake and your life depends on it, because it does. Good Luck!

Seven is a good, lucky number. Congratulations!

Amen, brother!

I found myself nodding in agreement with so much of what you wrote. I really enjoy reading good journalism which is well-written with details and well-developed structure and grammar. I have read and re-read your post and there is so much that I want to respond to with my own experiences, but not now. The one point I want to chime in on is that quitting Adderall was a life-changing event for me, too. I can't even imagine where I would be in life if I was still chained to that evil addiction. Thanks for such an inspiring post and happy New Year.