Greg

This is impossible for me to play. I have been on every one from Ritalin to vyvance and I never was on a consistent dosage, and never kept track, but I'm going to say I'm one of the ones that hit the 1 million mark which is pretty gross.

I decided to change my name from InRecovery to my real name. I think its funny that you all think of me as InRecovery when my name is actually Greg!! So however weird it is, call me by my real name Greg from now on! What is your real name??

Blacklist Under the Dome (so boring) Just started Gotham..promising but you never know The Strain and I am considering watching the Good Wife because i heard it is so amazing. But i would have to start from the beginning. And of course The Walking Dead when it starts

I accidentally deleted my post. But basically I was saying that I have read so many stories about how adderall has destroyed people's lives and personalities, how it's given them a superficial sense of hope while turning on them, how it has made people hit rock bottom, feel completely helpless, how it's destroyed marriages, relationships, jobs, forced people into rehab and taken so much away from them -- that I feel so much disgust for it. That disgust helps me to combat that urge or desire. Also don't forget those horrible days where you were awake for days on end and feeling cracked out all time. It's funny, it is in the middle of the night as I write this And there are 90 people reading this forum right now. I can't help but wonder how many of them have not slept in days and are wired up on adderall feeling helpless, looking for answers.

I think I came across as pretty 'manic' on it and extremely self absorbed.

At first I thought I would never be able to live without stimulants - never. I didn't think it was possible, and I didn't see myself ever living without them. I've learned that it is actually possible to live without stimulants in your life. And I've learned how much better life is without it. I learned that all the things I came to rely on Adderall for are things I can do without it -- which is pretty much everything. I used to feel like I was a slave to those pills. I no longer feel like a slave. Even though I remember how damaging these pills were to my brain and body, i have also learned how important it is to stay vigilant, how it is possible that I could one day relapse, and how scary the thought of that is. Lil tex, you and I have had the same time clean Time from adderall and yet I can understand how easy it was for you to be so tempted again just last week. I know that I must be the exception to the rule, but after nearly 4 years clean I still mentally , at times, crave adderall. But at the same time I am relying on my disgust for the drug would to never let me touch it again. But I hate it that I must continue to live with the threat of adderall returning.

Nice occasional! I got 10 miles in yesterday.

Alright Ashley, we're officially resurrecting this club. At least 1 resume a day posted from you (but remember 3 a day triples your chances and ONLY takes a few minutes more) :-) Start posting!!

7-7:30pm! :-( Ashley if you want to resurrect the 3 resumes a day club, Im happy to keep supporting you there. I hope you are happy there? u said you were getting a lot out of the experience. Great job on getting those three in!! I cranked out 12 today, def felt like puking several times as well. (I actually dont do anything for abs, I need to start doing more abs and weight lifting etc..) ZK - Because you know I'm all about that bass, about that bass, no treble...I love that song, I listened to that song like 4 times when I was running. edit - On a side note, I think the song is catchy and has a great message but it also just makes think how incredibly superficial the music and magazine industry (mens magazines are not an exception) are. I would rather read about real things affecting the world.

16.5 miles. Awesome occasional! I have an exam today and plan to hit the track tomorrow to try to make 12 for the week. I'm at zero so far.

Lol Ashley, u are not!

I'm going to check in with 3 miles I did early in the week. I got sick at the end of the week when I was planning on running, so I've been in bed most of the past couple days.

Lil tex, I am taking it you may have gotten the idea from a non abuser. be super careful when talking to non abusers!! I have some non abuser friends who joke about adderall like it is no big deal. But they don't know how truly bad it got for me. I completely ignore them. You NEVER want to be on that again. EVER. There is an addict side of your brain that might sneak up on you, and you have to watch out for that -- because it is your whole life at stake. I am not being extreme when I say that your entire life will come crumbling down. Don't let someone else's words trigger that.

ZK I have such the opposite opinion of concerta than you do. I think it is the worst of the bunch and concerta grosses me out , and when I was at rock bottom, concerta was my stim of choice, .the important thing is not romanticize any of this crap as one better than the other -- they will all fuck you up equally. Period.

Lil tex, knowing how much amazing advice you've given and how many people you have told your story to, and knowing how you are so fully aware of how stimulants destroy lives, including your own..it felt like you "fell under a spell and went into a trance" when you suddenly wanted to ask your doctor for concerta. That is a scary thing , a reality, we as addicts have to deal with and be very weary of. It's good that you know when you get these thoughts, you immediately come to the boards first. Maybe you should stay closer to this site until this blows over.

ZK, concerta is the same beast in the same company of vyvance, dexedrine, ritalin, adderall.

Omg. Don't ever say you are thinking of going back on concerta so casually like that Lil tex. You completely freaked me out. Concerta will destroy your life all over again! Edit -- didn't u just run a gazillion miles this past week in the ironman?

That is so great to hear!!!

Ashley, dont apologize for venting about your job otherwise I will have to apologize ten hundred times more for all my venting! First of all - great job on the 4.5 miles even with your hours!!!! About the job...hmmm. you know. 13 hour days consistently is hard to sustain. But at the same time, it seems like you feel like you are getting a good learning experience. You did an amazing job with your job search, like it only took a couple weeks for you to get a couple offers. I think you should definitely put some feelers out and see other places you may want to work at.

Check in Sunday -got 12 Keep us posted on your ironman lil tex!

Well, to each his own

I have all the typical symptoms of ADHD right now. I find it hard to go to class to pay attention in class. I can't absorb the words om reading. I don't ever feel like studying. I feel unmotivated to do well in school. Does that mmean I have add?

If that is the case, then every adderall addict who quits adderall has ADHD. because we are all suffering from a dopamine deficiency.

Lil Tex, That's amazing. I take it you got in your 12 this week. Have fun on Sun.

When I was on adderall, TV/movies felt like such a waste of time! i never wanted to watch stuff. Now I love it again.