Jon

Hi Jay, You are a victim of modern day psychiatry. You were prescribed legal speed and stayed on it long enough to confuse your brains natural chemical reactions. It no longer remembers how to manufacture “get up and goâ€. It takes a while for this function to return to you, but it does return in small doses over an extended period of time. Think of recovery in terms of a year or two rather than months, because that is the reality of the injury. If the injury were a concussion, it might never heal, but you can heal from this addiction or dependency, however you want to look at it. I see you are in a situation that makes the timing of any quit attempt of critical concern. I don't think you will find much refuge in tapering. You will still feel like a slug, only not a total slug. You will just prolong the process of healing, (the dues you have to pay) in my opinion. So pick a time when you have a vacation and your workload is low and make your quit. You can do this! You will have good days during the recovery process where you can catch up on your work and you can find refuge in the support we have here in this community. What other choice do you really have? I'm sorry if this isn't the guidance you were hoping to get. There are no miracle cures for this. We are all here doing this and surviving and you can do it too. You only need to want it strongly enough.

Good work Justin! This will be a grand experiment for you. I will be happy when you show us the way.

1/8 - 5 Minutes of juggling 1/9 - 46 curls 1/10 - 50 shoulder presses 1/11 - 46 curls 1/12 - nothing - I missed my walk of the week. It was raining. 1/13 - 23 pushups 1/14 - 10 lateral and 10 front shoulder raises It is challanging to do one activity a day. I feel better than doing nothing or having no goals at all.

The thoughts that Zerokewl has ring true in every direction. Congratulations on 7 months clean. It's true, speed is easy to get, but if you think about the price you have paid already, doesn't that make you want to run away from the thought of getting into it again? You will get better if you stay sober, accept the fact that you can never use again, and hang out with sober people. If you relapse at your level of use, and that is what relapse is all about—going back to the peak levels again and more—expect to pay double down on your dues.

Welcome FreeBird! I'm glad you found us too. It is horrible to feel alone in this. I would have kept using had I not found the site. You have made it 7 months all by yourself and that is awesome. I am only minutes behind you in sober time and struggle with similar issues. I am still mixing my color and white laundry due to energy issues. I live in a townhouse. Lots of steps. We have to be survivors.

Kind of a spontaneoue quit, I see. It's harder this way but you can still tough it out, if your body and mind have the endurance. You are young enough at 34 to pull it off. You still have the power of youth on your side. You have the power of group support on your side. It helps to have faith in yourself and faith in somrthing beyond yourself. Keep posting and keep it simple when it somes to your daily activities: Eating, working and sleeping are enough for now.

Ashley, The contrast in the two pictures is amazing and really brings home the point. It doesn't surprise me that you are as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside. "Look love, what envious streaks do lace the severing clouds in yonder east."

Hey Lucky, Your story has left behind the same fingerprints as the rest of us caught in the spider web of speed...not ADD medicine. Let's call it what it is. It's pharmaceutical grade speed, thus the easier come down....at least for a while. You were shown you could do everything only to have the carpet pulled out from beneath your feet! Then you lost your friends, you cleanliness, your kids trust and your mind. It's a trick that is familiar to us all, with only a change in the details of the story. I see positive things in your post. You know that you have a propensity to addiction, whether it is daily or binging, whether it's pills, cigarettes, booze or whathaveyou. You don't want to jump out of the frying pan into the fire. I think you know this deep down and that is always the BIG first step. You have told all your doctor that you are a pill addict, so you cut off your speed suppliers, except for your son's supply. So you have that to take care of. You could sign-on for the "30 day challenge" in the My story section. You could get others quitting with you at the same time. It is a powerful tool. Keep taking steps in the right direction and cover this website like a scene from Dragnet. Read all of Mike's articles. Read the threads. With commitment, education and guts, talking the talk will become walking the walk. Keep coming back!

FemaleJohnnyCash, You know the real Johnny Cash story, right? He had to quit the junk to save his life, not just his career. One thing I have learned here is that our passions slip away from us like ghosts in the night and we never see them leaving. One day we look at our instruments, paint brushes and blank canvases or cameras and think, "What happened to my passion for the thing I loved most?" The longer you stay on speed, the more your passion fades. The drug is a fake out. It shows you more interest and creativity in the beginning before robbing you of the very things it gave you. This fake out involves more than your passions. It's about your energy, the things you pay attention to, the reasons you do the things you do and your willpower to change your life. Go down the path that YOU choose, not the path that the drug chooses for you. I'm sorry for making you a look at this hard reality, but at the end of the day, you are the only person who can come to these realizations. You have to want to get back to your true self more than anything else in the world. I kind of hope your audition doesn't work out for you (in a nice way) so you can look at what your life might look like sober. Given time to heal and abundant self-nurturing and love, you really could become the next female Johnny Cash.

Tinybudda, Is there someone who is taking the test also, someone you can buddy up with? The buddy system would really benefit you in this situation, I think. It would also address the isolation issue. Look on the web or try to obtain a manifest of the test participants from the organization that is offering the test. Please do take Quit once up on his offer to help you with your situation and your addictions. He is a good friend to have in a tight spot. Do youself a justice here and allow someone to help you. Act with courage!

DIRB727, You should write a little something in the My Story section as to what brought you here and why today is the start of your quit. Having your own thread will bring support directly to you. Welcome aborad and good luck with Day 1!

Sleep hangover

overworked

It took a lot of courage to make your post! Welcome to the forums. I am sorry, my experience is not at all like yours. Have you sought out the opinion of another psychiatrist? I think that would be a good idea considering the response of your current doctor.

RemindMyselfWhy, Nice work on ridding yourself of the other addictions you mentioned in your post. In my experience, the addictions usually come in bundles. I am happy that you are able to continue your life without the pills. Congratulations for all of your achievments in the past 3.5 months. Thanks for checking in. We like to hear stories about success related to addiction. Keep us posted.

The safest way to dispose of unwanted pills, patches or other unwanted medications is to do a little work and find the most convenient "Take Back" program your state offers. Many states offer this free service through local pharmacies. My state is one that doesn't, but they do have a quarterly program that handles all kinds of hazardous wastes (including pharmaceuticals). My drop off location was a local hospital. If you care one iota about the environment, here is your big chance to make a difference. A caveat for this would be the case where a person is powerless over the medication and finds a few pills and decides to flush, or even better put in coffee grinds and then into the trash. It is the lessor of two evils to flush (just a few pills) than risk relapse. As far as what to do with your remaining stash while you find a drop off site or wait for a take back date is up to the individual. I know that Mike has mentioned in one of his articles or posts that he still has his last bottle. I know of some guys, my brother was one, who quit smoking with a pack of Lucky Strikes in their shirt pockets. I'm not suggesting that this approach is right for everyone, but for some people their stash doesn't threaten their sobriety. They have simply had enough.

Still plodding away: 1/2 - 22 lateral raises 1/3 - 2.5 hours in split sessions snow removal. 1/4 - one hour walk in the snow. 1/5 - one hour shoveling snow 1/6 22 pushups 1/7 46 curls and 46 shoulder pressses.

I've been drinking Silk Almond milk. A 3 pack of half gallons costs just 7.89 at Costco. I use a few cups to start the day by mixing in a Shacklee 19 gram potein shake, with some other stuff I pour in there like psyllium husks and liquid CoQ10. It holds my appetite for about 4 hours. I'm not use to eating a formal breakfast. You think I should add some solid food? I'm just warming up to the idea that food is good for us and provides our energy. I relied on "you know what" for energy for so long. Now, my interest and taste buds are peaked by the idea of tasting the coconut milk. I always tried to stay away from coconut because it contains so much fat, but now I am learning differently. I have always loved the flavor. I can't wait to pour it into my rice cooker! Thanks for the information, SweetCarolinee.

It is true that we lose interest of our favorite arts, music included. I am glad to hear that you have tuned in to your music again so quickly. Congratulations! I sincerly hope that this is your best and final quit. Are you aware that the windows for quitting are uncommon, even rare. The next window you see might be years away, so take care of this quit. It is precious and fragile. Keep posting and maybe think about commiting to a 30 day challange. There is a fresh one waiting for you in the forums. If you sign up for it, you will find buddies to quit with. And that is very powerful.

Thanks for sharing that with me Occaisional. My nephew just gave me a book called Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. It's more of a workbook, but I am going to do the work. Today is the first day in a LONG time that I have felt pretty good. I hope to string a few of these days together and also start having more good days. I am happy you took the time to comment on how optimism has helped your recovery and that it's worth working towards. Progress not perfection is what we should strive for, eh? That's what they say in AA.

Wow Caroline, what a great post! Welcome to the forums and congratulations on getting the first 9 days in. I can hardly believe you got side tracked for 6 years on the (A) chemical, because it's clear that you are very educated on natural health. I'm with you on the vinegar "with mother" for changing your system from acid to alkiline. I use this stuff made by the Amish called Stops Acid Reflux. You can get it on Amazon. I love it. It's got a tad of garlic and ginger in it. I add it to all of my water and try to pass it by my teeth. I've heard that vinegar wears away tooth enamel. My sister drinks it through a straw. What do you think? I've been wondering about the coconut oil for a while now. Costco sells a huge jar of it and it's Organic. Before I quit I was juicing on a regular basis, but since I quit—nothing. No motivation or energy to juice. I've been working 60 hour work weeks too. It makes for a harder recovery, but I'm still here. I hope you will still be here too encouraging us to go all out for our health! Thank you for your post. Nice work on the ingredients of Focus Factor. It saved me from a lot of typing.

Welcome to the forums D. Daniel. Congratulations on your decision to quit while you are still ahead (not rock bottom). I think we can all relate to the cycle of the upper followed by the downer. It is exhausting and only gets worse with time. It would be ideal if you could schedule your quit while you have time away from work. Since you have gone through this before, you know what to expect and what you can handle and what you can't. Familiarize yourself with the articles written by Mike on this website, if you haven't already. Please keep us posted. We are here to help you with quitting. Good luck with your first day today. You stated many good reasons to quit and stay quit. It sounds like you are ready.

If I am trying to do something, like reading, and I can't do it, I wait for another day when I have more brain power. I have tried the lions mane mushroom and it does help me a little. You will need to get the Host Defense brand. It is expensive. I am also trying another supplement called focus factor. I don't have the bottle with me and I forget the brand name. The bottle says that you can take up to 8 pills daily with food. I've only taken two with dinner and don't notice a difference. I think Focus is one of the 5 things we are trying to recover in a very basic sense: Energy (Physical and mental), Motivation (reason to act, will to do), Confidence (freedom from fear, belief in yourself), Focus (memory, attention and concentration) and Passion (enjoyment and enthusiasm). Please correct me if I am mistaken about these vitality characteristics. I have made some progress in each area, but still have a lot of ground to cover. Crossword puzzles, Sudoku and Luminosity offer ways to exercise our thinking capacities. Any puzzle type games would help. I think Yoga and meditation help with focus (paying attention). I am thinking about trying out Luminosity. Good topic Z! Just talking about it gets me going!

Congratulations on finishing your college degree. I know what a heavy weight this was for you. Now, on to the next chapter... call it liberation, a time to experiment. Follow your heart, not the money. I know that's easier said than done, but you will be so much more engaged, if you love what you do. Don't be afraid to make some mistakes when seeking the right job. It will probably take some trial and error. I love this quote by Ann Dillard that may be relevant for your situation: You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

Congratulations to LLwilson, Lunax and Freedom's wings on such amazing results in 2013. You have all come such a long way together. Watching you gals work the challanges has helped me in doing my own work. Your accomplishments mattered to me and many others. Pure inspiration! I wish you all continued success in 2014!