Jon

Quit-once, Thank you for sharing your experience with sleep while recovering from Adderall. Some of the things you said that I can relate to: During the first year of two of recovery, I was frustrated that I couldn't sleep on my terms. – Check. I had a hard time staying asleep all night. - Check. It was difficult to go right back to sleep, too. – Check. I was lucky to get five hours of sleep during adderall. – Check. Sleep disturbances during recovery was not as much about insomnia but more about sleep timing and staying asleep. – Check. GERD and acid reflux also used to mess with my sleep. – Check. I believe that adderall was hard on my kidneys, and I also believe that calcium pills and even vitamin d is hard on the kidneys too. – I believe the same things. From what I gather we Adderallics share some similar sleep disturbances after quitting. It’s nice to feel not all alone. Thanks again Q-o.

Hi Kori, I'm in the same boat Cat was in. I stopped ambien and then started taking it again (at half suggested or .5mgs) several weeks later due to the debilitating effects of insomnia I was experiencing. I take xanax too, but have only lowered the dose. I take about 4mgs a day; 2mgs XR before bedtime. I have no plans on quitting that until I feel more confident about Adderall recovery and sleep issues. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I know how it upsets my whole world when I don't get the proper rest. I hope you are able to find a solution that works for you. You are by no means alone in trying to overcome two or more addictions that go hand in hand with Adderall use. Alcohol, weed, cigarettes and downer pills come to mind right away. I believe that with Adderall use, there is always going to be some substance to counteract the stimulant high and I think that this adds another level of complexity to recovery...and one that we should not be afraid to talk about. If there was ever a threat to my quit, walking around on a few hours of sleep in a week over and over again, would be it. To the people of the forum: Is insomnia a part of Adderall recovery? We all get the hypersomnia and sleep "forever" phase in the beginning, but then we are out of balance and have sleepless nights. Throw in PAWS episodes and it complicates matters even more. Adderall messed with our sleep/wake cycles while we were using. Is it logical to expect some issues with the sleep wake cycle while we recover?

It is sad that we have lost our passions. What could be a higher emotional price to pay?

Crumbling - 12 hour shifts won't go away.

Ashley, Breathe in, breathe out. Feel the air as it passes the nostrils and as it inflates and collapses the lungs. 2 or 3 concentrated breaths should do the trick. @Liltex: "80% of success is just showing up" Woddy Allen, quoted by Krax.

I learned a lot from reading this thread. Thank you SearchingSoul9.

Yes, all of the obsessions I acquired while taking the drug; Rock hunting, looking for heart shaped rocks, landscaping, hardscaping, manual labor for the fun of it. I don't feel compelled to do these obsessive activities anymore. The stuff that was important to me, and seems to have evaporated somewhere during my Adderall usage, is my 30 year practice in photography, reading for pleasure, writing for pleasure, taking vacations, day trips and anything else that requires effort, motivation, drive, desire or confidence.

Congratulations Liltex and InRecovery for reaching this enormous landmark. You both inspire everyone of us. Thank you for sticking around. We need you to know that it is possible.

You are a good person, Z, and you are going to be an inspiration for all of the people you mentioned and all of those that will come behind you. I am proud to say I know you. Congratulations on achieving the 5 month mark! Keep up the good works you freely give on this forum.

FYI: The enteric nervous system also makes use of more than 30 neurotransmitters, most of which are identical to the ones found in CNS, such as acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin. More than 90% of the body's serotonin lies in the gut, as well as about 50% of the body's dopamine, which is currently being studied to further our understanding of its utility in the brain. Doesn't this sound familiar to what Adderall manipulates and therefore how we can enhance our very healing?

If you must eat constantly, eat good foods. Moderation will come naturally. Try dried fruit and nuts. I like fruit and nut melody. Try protein drinks. They suppress the appetite. Bulky foods like carrots and celery fill you up fast. Salads are works of art. Drink lots of filtered water, This tricks your stomach. It thinks it's food. Yes, the stomach thinks. It has it's very own brain. It is called the enteric nervous system. Look it up. Stay away from sugar completely. It is highly addictive and a known killer. Shop the perimeter isles at the grocery store. Avoid the middle isles. They contain all the crap. You are starting life over from scratch anyway. Why not train yourself to eat healthy foods. Now is the time. Now is the opportunity. Transform!

Evaporated

Cassie, you never cease to amaze me. Your analogies give me perspective and more importantly they offer hope....and I need it so badly right about now. Thank you. I have been working 12 hour shifts for two weeks due to a sudden death of a co-workers wife. They were only married last year. I would work for him until I dropped dead and I feel very close to that point now.

Congratulations Liltex on a new exciting adventure. Good luck and Best Wishes! You like those BIG states don't ya?

You sound great! It appears that life has handed you another chance to be happy. Keep up the good work.

Z, I'm not up to taking on any more challanges than I already have in front of me. I concede to a victory for you. I hope the book is good and we both enjoy the experience of reading it instead of having to fight our way through it. I started it and I'm hooked, but I want to take my time, not force it. Thanks for thinking in ways that could help us recover faster.

Kori, I’m sleepy almost all of the time, except when I’m out hiking or doing something active, which I admit, isn’t much. Planting myself in front of the light of my TV will also induce a state of shrunken vitality. I loved the movie “Garden State.†I especially liked when they all screamed into the infinite abyss and the Paul Simon song “The Only Living Boy in New York†plays…and they kiss finally while the sun shines on them. “Half of the time we’re gone but we don’t know where, and we don’t know where,†or do we, but would rather be somewhere else? It’s cool and endearing and all Hollywood. Zach Braff could have done so much more with the movie by addressing the huge pill problem we have in our society, like the main character Largeman had. Instead, he glamorized it with the ecstasy scene and downplayed the hazards of pill popping causing small but fast headaches in Andrew’s head. The real disappointment was that the film was made independently and could have taken the story to a place with some redeeming value for our culture. I would watch it again though, because it’s a feel good film and anything that feels good is going to appeal to an addict.

Sebastion, Something Cassie said a few weeks ago was to think of recovery in terms of years instead of months. She used a weight loss analogy. If you put on 50 pounds, it would be reasonable to expect to drop a pound a week, you could lose it in a year. If you have ever had to lose 50 pounds, you know it takes a tremendous effort...on top of the time. It made sense to me, but I am impatient like you and aren’t we all who took Adderall for it’s instant gratification. That is the killer in recovery. There is no instant gratification. We aren’t used to that and it hurts. I'm a little over 4 months clean. I used daily for 12 years. I will be 59 years old in December. I think we both have to remember to keep faith in the healing process. We are healing. It just takes a lot of time and effort.

Justin, My reading stamina has a huge hole in it too. Maybe there is a counter balance mechanism that affects us after quitting. I could read like the devil while on the pill, but go to a white fade state, like you, after quitting. I stopped getting the newspaper for 3 months because I couldn’t even read the title lines or care for that matter. Today, I may read one or two articles at best. I would like to believe that with the passage of time and by practicing our reading, we will be able to read again without inducing a knockout punch. I think relearning how to do everything is what recovery is all about. It reminds me of what it must be like to have a stroke. They vary in severity, but recovery involves active rehabilitation. Sleeping, eating, reading, writing, house cleaning, driving safely, yard work, anything; it has to be relearned. Just starting my day is still a white out. It took an inordinate amount of time and energy to type out this post (2 hours). Tonight is Halloween and I usually like to carve pumpkins….not this year. Just for the record, I’m 4.3 months clean. I used daily for 12 years, my stupid ass, and I will be 59 years old in December. Sometimes I think I’m too old for a comeback or that by the time I do comeback, I’ll be senile. Somebody please remind me that this is not true. I just bought Stephen King’s new book “Doctor Sleep†because I have heard that is the first great book written by King since his Cocaine days, throughout the 1980’s. I’ll try to finish it by the end of 2013.

Congratulations llWilson on getting 30 days. Treat yourself to something nice for achieving this goal. I am very proud of you for sticking to the challenge. The method really works! The mood swings are normal, but everyone is different. Keep up the good work on your next challange.

I know that it is really hard to let go of a girlfriend. I am going say something to you that I wished I would have said to myself a few times in an earlier life. Have the courage to break your own heart.

Adderall does undermine your personality over time. That is the number one reason people want to quit. We want to recover a part of ourselves we know is missing. Have you read all of Mike's articles? I suggest you invest the time to do that. Yes, you can call your doctor and tell him that you don't want to be perscribed Adderall ever again, due to dependancy issues or whatever. You don't have to give a reason if you don't want to, but making the call is important because you need to cut off your supplier. Sorry I am blunt here. There are so many folks that post once or twice here and then dissappear. I'm just trying to get some of the facts out to you.

Are you ready to stay quit when your perscription is ready for refill? If the answer to that is yes, then call your doctor and tell him/her that you won't be getting another Adderall perscription. If the answer in no, then use for a while longer. Come back when you are ready to quit and really want it deep down. We will still be here to support you when you are ready. Good luck during the next couple of weeks. Why not make them count for something?

If you want to quit Adderall, or weed or any drug you have to want to quit for you, not anyone else. You say it's time to get sober. You have to cut off your supplier, your doctor who prescribes it, and when you are ready, get rid of your stash, if you have one. In my experience I would say forget the girl because once a woman says "it's over" it is in fact over... over and out. It is your best interest to get sober on your own anyway. You will pass through many negative states of mind and being while you go through recovery. There is no need to drag anyone through it with you, if you can help it. Use this forum for your support. Day 2 is tough, but the hardest part is already done. You began. Stay connected and self-accepting. Trust the process. Have faith in the process. You will be better off for it and in time you will become emotionally available with sobriety.

Give it a shot Justin. Didn't we all have creative writing class in 8th grade? Thank you for the positive responses. Gratitude is very important for recovery, Z, good point.