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Jon

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Everything posted by Jon

  1. Jon
    My not much of anything list: 12/25 - 21 pushups 12/26 - 25 eye raisers 12/26 - 42 curls 12/27 - 22 pushups 12/28 - nada thing 12/29 - 3 mile walk 12/30 - 46 military presses 12/31 - 46 curls
  2. Jon
    Thank you to everone here whose support in 2013 has made all the difference for me. With your help, I am learning a new way of living sober.
  3. Jon
    Thank you quitonce for having the kindness and guts to comment on the fear that I have used too long to have a graceful recovery. The truth is that I have made signifigant progress since the early days. It's just the snails pace of it and the setbacks that send the primal fear of "too much for too long" shooting through my spine again. I try to remain positive during these brief but persistent periods. It's a lot easier when I come here and find a friend in recovery. Justin, You have a good point about the brain fog being responsible for making us have less confidence when approaching new tasks or forgetting old ones. There are times when I feel impaired and make mistakes. There are other times when I feel like my memory has actually improved, by pulling names out of a hat and wonder, where did that come from? Have you experienced that as well?
  4. Jon
    That's me to a tee, brother. Rib-eyes and King Crab are tough to pass up. I would have caved too.
  5. Jon
    It's an addiction that gets no respect. People have trouble understanding No energy, no motivation, no confidence, no desire. They just can't relate. I get why they can't relate too. It is difficult for me to understand the terms of my own recovery and why I must suffer so.
  6. Jon

    7 months

    Jon replied to Zerokewl's topic in Tell your story

    Nice post Z. Congratulations on 7 months. You have certainly earned the progress. Thank you for your support.
  7. Jon
    Re-evaluate the study. Kudos to the NYT, even though the truth is only meekly stated by the newspaper. It is very clear to me that this 'research study' was rigged by the pharmaceutical companies. It was stated: The fact that many of the 19 categories measured classic symptoms like forgetfulness and fidgeting — over academic achievement and family and peer interactions — hampered therapy’s performance from the start, several of the study’s co-authors said. The last sentence in the report by one of the study's researchers said "I wish there were fairer tests."
  8. Jon
    I couldn't miss out on this one. CONGRATULATIONS Occaisional. I love your optimism. I hope it's contagious.
  9. Jon
    Good job on 48 minutes of Wi Fit exercise and an hour of shoveling snow, Justin! You are burning a lot of calories. I feel like my efforts are more like symbols that I still exist. I get that fear of doing just about anything too. I have no idea why I get this way. I guess it's the loss of confidence Mike talks about that we have to go through after quitting. I definately have loss of confidence and I am afraid of everything, especially afraid of just how deep I have buried my true self because I used for so long. I should really start a new thread for a discussion about this fear but I'm afraid that the feedback, if any, will be along the line of, "yeah man, you really fucked up."
  10. Jon
    Congratulations Sebastion year one of sobriety. I don't have more time than you, so I can't help you with senior advise. I am pleasantly surprised to hear the positive tone in your post. It is hard to be positive when you're hurting, so I know you are doing good. You have helped me today and I thank you for that. I'm sure you can look forward to zest and vitality returning to you as you move further along your journey.
  11. Jon
    It's not much, but it could lead to doing more. One can always have hope. 12/17 - 42 dumbell curles (all dumbell work done with a 10 pound dumbell) 12/18 - 21 pushups 12/19 - 51 shoulder military presses 12/20 - 40 tricep kickbacks 12/21 - 5 mile walk 12/22 - 22 front shoulder raises 12/23 - a day of rest P.S. you guys sure like to drive nice cars!
  12. Jon

    The Bully

    Jon replied to Zerokewl's topic in General Discussion

    When I am wrong, I'll admit it. I guess that there are some people who were bullies and can change their ways. I'm glad this worked out for you Z.
  13. Jon
    Thank you for touching base Kathleen. It is good to know you have success on your side. It give us the power to persevere.
  14. Jon
    In the long run dishonesty never pays. Either they get caught (99%) or guilt eats away at their sense of integrity. I agree that it's all disheartening, which is why I have trouble taking credit for anything I accomplished on Adderall. It's guilt that I used a pill to achieve it. I want to chime in with the rest of TEAM support by saying Congratulations to InRecovery for achieving a 4.0 GPA without Adderall. You are a shining example for all of the students out there who find themselves in over their heads using Adderall. Oh, they do not know the price they must pay.
  15. Jon
    If you are a maintenance user (taking Adderall every day), try taking a vacation day—adderall free. Try this on a day where you have no responsibilities. That's how I got my quit started. I took a vacation day and lived through it. I started my quit a week later. The vacation day gave me the confidence that I could do it and motivation to begin. Then I became addicted to this website because without the support here, I wouldn't have made it very far. You need to become involved here. This is your window of opportunity to quit. Windows of opportunity do not present themselves very often. The drug has a unique way of masking and numbing over what you are realizing today. Trust me, the drug can keep you hooked for much longer than 4 years. Good luck!
  16. Jon

    Day 100!

    Jon replied to lunax's topic in Tell your story

    Pretty cool lunax. Congratulations. How do you feel at 100 days, I wonder?
  17. Jon
    I re-read this article today Justin and think that it applies to me. Thank you for posting it. I need to be less lazy to create more energy.
  18. Jon
    Justin, It will be great to have you on board. I like it because it gives me the freedom to do anything physical, rather than commit to one activity and doing stuff that is necessary, like snow removal, counts as something physical. My work schedule doesn't fit to commiting to do one activity. Routine is something I lack in my job and it really sucks for recovery. I'm looking at my work options very closly right now.
  19. Jon
    Congratulations! Perhaps you can torch that last pill. I've heard that they make fairly nice sculptures (per quit-once, who torched one as a memorial). Best wishes with your quit. You can do this!
  20. Jon
    Here Here to that FW. This site is my new addiction.
  21. Jon
    I admire all the work you put into this Freedom's Wings. I think you are amazing to even be able to think clearly at this stage in your quit. Commitments scare the hell out of me, because I'm afraid I won't keep them...but here goes: I pledge to do something physical every day. No time duration, just the execution of physical movement. It could be some pushups, some curls, some yoga, a walk, but something that involves bodily movement and exertion of energy. I will keep a log.
  22. Jon
    Adderall is a loan shark.
  23. Jon
    Kori, I hate the number of days I have squandered away too, including an entire 3 day weekend in bed and on the couch this weekend! The one and only thing I did that was constructive was cook myself one nice meal. It took 2 hours from beginning to end (including clean up) and that was all I had. I can relate completely about the NO ENERGY issues...and who wouldn't be depressed with no energy in the early days of recovery? And by early days of recovery, I'm talking about the entire first year! People do not recover from a drug addiction in a few months. Would you really want to have to cover this ground again? I hven't cleand my house since I quit. I keep up with the essentials: food shopping (as smart as I can), eating, bathing, dishes, mail, snow and work and a small amount of time with friends and family. That's all I am capable of. I'm not happy about it, but that's what it is for me. A relationship? I am simply not available. I wouldn't want to be in one even with the most understanding of partners. It's just too much to ask of myself or of another. It's great if others have more will power than me and are able to force themselves to do more, but for me, it's not here yet. I've had some good days where I'v taken some nice hikes, but the days are so short now. It makes it harder. If your partner can't deal with you in a dysfunctional state to recover from a serious drug addiction, then you have to set your priorities. I know that sounds brutal, but I don't see how you can do both in your current situation. Maybe there are some wiser, more experienced voices out there to offer you hope for having both a successful recovery while maintaining a relationship where your partner expects the person you were on Adderall. You are thinking well to not make impulsive or hasty decisions now.
  24. Jon

    Two years

    Jon replied to Cassie's topic in Tell your story

    Congratulations Cassie on two years free from Adderall! We are so lucky and grateful to have you on the forum. Whenever I read a post from you I usually learn something and somethimes feel enlightened. It moves me forward in my quit, when the walls are falling down around me. Your posts have saved me from myself many times. I can hardly wait until I get to a year clean, so I can relate just a little. As it is, I am moving forward blindly, with faith that it will get better. Thank you for helping the blind. We love you back.
  25. Jon
    Welcome home AmyQ. I am happy you have such good news to report. We are all pulling for you to succeed. How was the weather in the mountains? Anything seen through the binoculars?
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