Jon

You gals are amazing! This is the most upbeat and sussessful thread ever! I hope you are all in good places in the midst of the difficulty. I'm rooting for ya!

You are right about Adderall being a double edged sword, in so many ways you wouldn't believe it. All that calmness you are feeling on the drug....you will pay for in anxiety after you quit. Chasing the high is pretty much what we all do until we reach a certain point and then many of us begin to back off a little...some of us don't. If you don't find yourself backing off at 100mgs you are probably on your way to much bigger problems, like amphetemine induced psychosis. This will land you in the ER. Adderall is a very addictive substance for anyone, and given the right circumstances, even a casual, non-addictive type user, can become an addict almost overnight. You said it youself: You need to stop now. The stakes are way too high to take on more risk at this point. Let us know how we can help.

Is that important for you in terms of quitting Adderall? It doesn't matter to us where you are from. We are here to help. I don't think we have any central Europeans members, but I don't know everyone.

May I ask, how many years did you binge use and at what levels, before this last big one? They will be the biggest determining factors in how long your recovery will take. I think you have the right stuff to stay quit after this last scare. Batton down the hatches and be ready for whatever storm lies ahead. We are here to walk through it with you, but you alone must endure the pain. Hold fast and stay close to this forum.

I reckon so.

I wish you VIP treatment during your long day, # 51. I'll be right with you. I'm working 11 AM - 11 PM today.

No Sleep...again. No rest for the weary. Thought gusts over 75 MPH.

Does it matter why?Started by ddw5053, Today, 02:12 AM No. It doesn't matter why. The only question that matters is how.

That's wonderful news Ashley! You have certainly earned it. An accomplishment like this can bring closure to all of the horror years. You are free to move on with your life again.

Only Americans feel this way. Most other cultures just enjoy living.

The death report of my mother stated that she died of complications of Rheumatoid Arthritis, but could easily have read died of complications of prolonged use of Prednisone. This drug destroyed every organ in her body including making her skin onion paper thin. A scratch for her meant stitches. It is another superman drug. When I first started losing my hearing at age 33, they gave me a round of Prednisone. I was running for pleasure at the time, and while on the drug, my running speeds reached new records. I felt like I could run around the globe and then some. Stick with Quit-once's advise: a drug of last resort.

Cat, Thank you for your kind words and gentle encouragement. Okay, here are some accomplishments. I am happy I quit. I am happy to be off the daily salt and pepper shaker ride. I am happy that I am learning to live life sober with the help of people on this incredible forum. I look at sobriety as my only option, without wavering. The commitment is stronger than the struggle. I feel humility for the capacity to possess this outlook. I didn’t create it all by myself. I have worked many long hours at my job and got through it. I have learned how to live a life without coffee, although I miss it greatly. I cut the grass every Saturday after quitting. It took all my power to get this done. I added a white-eyed vireo to my birding life list last weekend. I am slowly beginning to participate in life again… in very small ways. The vireo is a very small bird.

Congratulations Liltex on achieving three years! Felicitations on landing your new job! -ations all around, but mostly gratitude for hanging around here and reminding us that all things are possible if we would only try. Thank you.

Cat, great idea! I'm too green to lay claim on any accomplishments. I'm afraid to jinx my quit. I don't even like counting my months because it will always be one day at a time for me. If not Adderall, something else lurking in the shadows. Living sober is a real challange and there are still training wheels on my new bike. When the time is right for me, I will revisit this thread and state accomplishments that I feel secure in announcing. I love yours. They are real and you own them. Thank you for sharing. I look at them like goals worth attaining.

It's hard to get a word of congratulations edgewise with all of the activity on this thread. It's easy to just like what someone else said, so as not to be repetitious. I want to be repetitious—Congratulations Freedom's Wings on 48 days and for being the creator of this concept. It would be nice to see an ongoing 30 day challenge just sitting out there waiting for those who want to quit, but are afraid to take the leap of faith alone. I believe that there is that much power in quitting together or close together. Lunax, You are awesome. You have come so far since we first met. I think it was when I first quit? I am so proud of you. Congratulations on 60 days! And then there is the Georgia Girl, LL, who took her leap of faith with a backflip off the edge of the mountain into the unknown of life without Adderall. Congratulations on 42 days...unbelievable! Keep up this kind of team spirit and soon we'll be able to a fantasy match-up between you guys and the 1985 Chicago Bears! Anyone remember them?

Thanks for the heads up. I will notify Mike.

You know the price is high coming off, but you are worth it Chelle! You have so much to give. Your enthusiam for birding and photography are two subjects that could consume months of conversation. It can be something to distract you while you do the hard work. Your husband sounds very supportive. His actions say that he wants the old you back. Go birding together this weekend. The migration is in full swing. If he isn't a birder, let him be your assistant. You describe the bird through the binoculars and he does the ID with the Sibley field book.

No Chelle, I haven't felt the return of my passion for photography, but I used Adderall for a long time and it will take some time for that passion to return. I smiled when I read in your profile that you like film photography. I miss film photography something terrible, but what can we do? Digital rules the day. I used to love the browns in Agfrachrome. I used to shoot Fugichrome Velvia at iso40 on a regular basis. I shot some B&W print film for the darkroom too. I am a true believer in the saying: "Time heals all wounds." If you get back to your true self, (that's what we are all trying to do), by quitting and staying quit, I can see you with that new Leica of your's making compositions you can be proud of. The good news: My passion for birding has returned to me with a little encouragement from some white-eyed vireo's. They are such adorable little birds. It helped being with a birding friend who knew what they were. I had written them off as goldfinches in winter plumage. What a surprise it was to discover them, with thier white spectacles and beautiful olive coloration and white wing bars, through binoculars. AHHH...Joy!

Chelle, If you weren't convinced before that you had an addiction problem with Adderall are you convinced now? I hope you are because it is obvious to the rest of us here after seeing "200mgs in a day." Have you heard the AA experssion "Once you change a cucumber into a pickle, it can never be a cucumber again." I think you have turned yourself into a pickle. Now, even one pill will send you back to the exact spot where you left off with your addiction, and then move higher. That's just the way addiction works. I wouldn't worry about crying on the forum. You would rob us of our sense of value. You see, by trying to help others, we are helping ourselves stay sober.

I have to confess, I am a little leary about clicking on links from people I don't know, but since Chelle did it and replied with positive results, I took the chance and am more the better for it. Thank you Zhenka. The article was enlightening! I bookmarked it too.

My first thought is for you to run away from him as fast as you can. I read your post again, and that's my second thought too. You can't change him. He clearly does not want to change for his own good. You are acting as his co-dependent partner. Do you really want to play that role for someone?

SearchingSoul, I enjoyed a running career for about 25 years before my knees gave out. It was the best high going and the crazy part was we didn't have to injest anything to feel good! Take care of your knees and feet so they last you for the long haul. Try to avoid running on pavement. Stick to nice soft double track trails.

You say it so well quit-once. Addiction to anything should be avoided, even the good stuff, especially the good stuff. We can find ourselves in the grip of addiction and wonder how we ever got there. We must be aware. We must become vigilant in the observations of our weaknesses as we experience living, for we are forever at risk. It's great that Ashley is a spokeswoman for our forum. This thread was a pleasure to read almost a year after the original post.

I'm so proud of you Ashley. You have been of service to others from the very start. And that's how it's done in Recovery. You are a shining star; an example for all of us to follow.

Sleep can be a little evasive after Adderall, except in the very beginning. Enjoy it now!