Zerokewl

WE quit because our lives became a personal hell on the drug. Tweaked out mindless robots with poor circulation we decided to free our mind grapes from mediocrity. Its different for everyone, you may not be ready to quit now, or ever, given your length of use recovery will be a life changing experience. But its not easy the lethargy and depression you described we've all experienced, it gets better but it takes time.

thanks man I have to update my Linked in profile today. Really needed that encouragement. have a great day

focus- working in a more office like setting is very good for my mind grapes

I haven't had an adderall dream in a while. Those are scary and strange. I'm trying to get into the practice of telling myself "fuck off brain I don't need this right now" when I catch my self bullying myself or thinking negatively. Might help.

tenacity

Excel spreadsheets. I used spent hours tweaking them and setting up all the cool advanced functions like conditional formating and logic statements.

There is no emoticon that accurately describes my respect and admiration.

I'm currently taking zoloft for depression. Early in my recovery I battled severe depression. Going to the doctor was a big deal to me. I was trying to beat the depression on my own through exercise etc. Doing all the things the blogs recommend I reluctantly went on zoloft. My depression still lingers most days are good now and the bad days are less bad. Zoloft is just part of the solution you have to eat right, exercise and sleep. Vitamin D supplements help too. Post adderall depression is tricky. Adderall really fucks with your brain chemistry, it will level off eventually we just need time. It is important to manage your depression through this process. Zoloft isn't really addictive from what I can tell. It is not a magic cure all but it helps. It sucks I know. You need to decide for yourself if Zoloft is right for you. It's a major milestone having the "I abused adderall" chat with your doctor. Congrats on one big step forward. I wish I had more advice for you the depression thing hit me so fucking hard. My depression is less intense now. A lot of people on this site experience depression early in recovery. It can be similar to the symptoms of being bipolar. I just watched a documentary on Josh Kalis and his Love park days in Philly maybe that will cheer you up some http://www.vice.com/en_ca/epicly-later-d/josh-kalis-part-1

Got hit with a snowstorm on the prairies today. A total whiteout. My car is outta commish for a few weeks due to the clutch. So other than a walk to Stumptown for coffee and to flirt with the punk barista. I'm stuck indoors for the rest of the day. Dealing with my adderall mess one pile of clutter and one line of code at a time. I guess this is the only way to deal. Serenity prayer applies here God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. Thank-you for all your kind responses. I look forward to many more anniversary celebrations.

It seems like a another life. Like some crazy asshole went on a spree fucking up my life. I'm left here dealing with old ghosts,regret and fragments of my Adderall life. What the fuck happened!! My mind grapes are still a little scrambled. From what I understand it will return in time,everyday things get a little better. Though when I think back on this year and all its heartache I cry. I truly hit rock bottom and it was quite a fall. Adderall had a profound impact on my life. I'm humbled by this experience that has given me a new appreciation for life. I'm closer with my family and friends, open to new experiences people and things. The last 5 months I experienced some of the darkest days of my life. But when that darkness broke the first rays of light were glorious. Now I'm in the process of rebuilding my new life. I'm wobbly, fragile and unsure of myself. But I'm here now and thats what's important. The productive, brilliant,funny and loveable me is screaming to get out. I'm trying now to imagine where i'll be in 1 year. I'm cautiously optimistic about my future. I don't have grandiose plans. I just want to be happy, healthy and sane. I know in time I will look back at this year with a certain fondness and stinging regret. Thank-you Jon, justin, Cassie, MFA, Asheley, quit-once,Ocassional, Reset, InRecovery, LilOhio, lunax, Krax, Searchingsoul, Falcon, Freedoms WIng, Kyle, Mike and all the people I haven't mentioned. You give me HOPE for humanity and the internet. This process would have been impossible without you.

amazing! now its my turn to find a job...

Jon, JustinW I've never been much of reader. But lets I'm gonna go out today and buy Stephen Kings new book. I'll start reading it today lets see who finishes it first.

Pyjamas and sleepy time tea.

boo

I think i'd totally forgot about the anger thing. I was crazy and so pissed off about really stupid shit throughout my adderall concerta days. I really don't miss the seething anger. I had such a crazy temper. I'm gonna add that to my list of things I love about being clean.

5 months.

Go Stamps!

Fatigue is much better. Every month things get better. I really need to quit smoking and make 2013 the year I slayed the addiction dragons. Been cycling quite a bit this summer and walking a lot. I really wonder why I have a car now. With winter hitting the prairies this year I'm gonna get into a routine at the gym and hikes around the city. Depression hit me really hard August and September I went on anti-ds and adopted a kitten. The kitten ended my depression tho I'm still taking the Anti-D's. I'm using a new doctor now and had the I abused adderall conversation with him to. Overall I'm improving everyday and happy again. Good days / Bad days just normal stuff. All is well.

T-R-U-T-H

All is well. thanks for asking it'll be 5 months sober in 2 days. I can honestly say I'm at peace with myself. All is well. is the mantra I keep repeating.

in some small way we are all "just another drug addict" our addiction to Adderall is no different that being a Meth head. Part of my recovery has involved surgically removing people from my life. You may need to do that. For myself in recovery I realized I let people walk all over me. Part of the reason I abused adderall in the first place, a sort of superman complex. Hope you are having a nice nap right now. ZK-Just another drug addict

Sadly my beautiful girlfriend broke it off with me. Around the time I quit adderall. Aderall turned me into a zombie I was always making excuses to not hang out with her because I had to "work" (getting high on addys). I was staying up all night smoking a lot and was an unhealthy mess. I really don't blame her but I do miss her. I really don't think I can be in a relationship as i'm still fairly fragile.

Congrats dude I am just about to celebrate 5 months. Early days were rough, but i'm really starting feel good even great now. Quiting hasn't magically changed me. But I'm a stronger more focused person because of it.