Zerokewl

Congrats- on 9 months!

Ugg. I know exactly how you feel Jon. I really wish my recovery would hurry the fuck up. Sounds like depression is hitting you hard, I know It's hitting me hard. I haven't completely beat it but it is less intense. Maybe it's the Anti D's, maybe its the meditation, exercise, sleep, SMART meetings. It is getting better everyday. Pulling out of this shit is really difficult but not impossible. Everyday clean is a victory.

http://www.ranker.com/list/breaking-bad-finale-reactions/brian-gilmore?format=SLIDESHOW&page=1

On Adderall I experienced a full spectrum of amplified emotions. From what I can remember my thinking was pretty erratic. Grief was one of those emotions. I used adderall to numb some emotions and improve my self-esteem. Making the first few months off adderall particularly emotional. Adderall really messes with your brain chemistry and your brain to get back to normal dopamine/serontonin levels. Brain chemistry is really tricky it just takes time to heal and create new synapses etc. Overcoming depression is something I am struggling with since I got off Adderall 4 months ago. Determined to not take any pills for it I did all the things recommended for depression (exercising, meditation, eating right, abstinence from all substances), though these things help. Reluctantly I started taking anti D's a few weeks ago that seem to have levelled me off. Depression is tricky anti-d's are just part of the solution. I haven't beat it yet and completely understand the place you are in. Eventually this will pass. Don't give up and keep fighting.

interesting read.

smurfy

yes. Flushing them is bad for the fishes or something. Just drop em off like you are dropping off bottles for recycle.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T quitting adderall, kids etc.

I think taking them back to the pharmacy for disposal is the correct thing to do. Maybe you'll need the assistance of a friend. Make it a stop on a happy errand day like picking out wedding cake or something. The excitement of being married is all the dopamine you need.

4 months

Netflix is your friend right now.

Seriously you should report these knuckle heads.

So lame.

springsteen

Classic.

HC Your twitter feed is pretty interesting lol. I've experienced that sort of mania near the end of my abuse.

omelette

Congratulations!!! you are amazing

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/times-bob-ross-dropped-serious-zen-wisdom-on-your-brain

amazing

zone- in it

In my past life I did 1000's of presentations and suffered terrible anxiety. A lawyer friend of mine told me his strategy for court was to " Over prepare and wing it". That was my biggest weapon. I just over prepared knowing way more on the topic than I needed to. Also a good way to burn off anxious energy. Going through the interview process myself I've been reading How to Answer Hard Interview Questions ...and everything else you need to know to get the job you want Charlie Gibbs I have the book in pdf format if you would like it I can email it to you just pm your email.

Everyone's recovery experience is different. You'll need to sort it out for yourself. What works what doesn't etc. The important thing is you are working to get better. Try everything and don't give up being sober has many rewards.

So i attended a SMART meeting. I'm still trying it, I was also late for the meeting. My initial impression positive. I'm going to try a few more meetings. Will update later.

FIGHT - It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.