sky

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I'm such a rich golden orange!!! my skin has the texture and feel of the finest steering wheel cover!!! I could sharpen straight razors on my arms!! UGH what a horribly day!!!!!

lol rev&rush, there is NO off topic on these boards. there are just digressions, and digressions, and then eventually circling back, usually by way of Vegas, our eventual trip to Vegas, and Breaking Bad, and yoga pants... This IS a forum presumably filled with folks with ADD, so digressions are a OK. and I agree that love is extremely important. wish I had more in my life myself. Probably better for mental health than any pill (assuming one is capable of love).

ya sounds like you need to get laid in the mornings...

yeah I think the initial quitting phase is the hardest, and you can liken that to having the flu or a cold or something where you are physically drained... but then, lo and behold, you get well and start to feel better again... so it's really only a couple of weeks at most of debilitating ouch I want to be at home, and then it's literally all rainbows and unicorns and smiley happy people throwing cash at you (not coins, just paper) from then on... I remember having this immense wave of feeling good energy that came over me pretty soon after quitting as I looked forward to my new and improved adderall free life... so I think the spring break could just about cover the rough part, and then from there is all just peaches and cream....

LOL OMG GIRL!!!! yeah that's way too much 5 Hour!!! have you tried vitamin b12 under the tongue lozenges? most of those 5 hr type energy drinks have a shit ton of b12, you can get under the tongue b12, sometimes those are good for a little bump.

it sounds like you made your decision to get off meds because of a stigma that you believe it's wrong to live a life with a chemical aid. That may be a good personal belief- but there are people who cannot function without their meds, they don't have the luxury of wanting to try living without (choose any extreme example of mental illness as a case in point). At this point, after trying it out and weighing the pros and cons, were you happier when you were taking the meds? Life is best enjoyed, if you are miserable all the time and see no way out, well then maybe you should look at taking medications to alter the chemicals in your brain so you don't feel that way anymore. It's like someone who physically has bad vision wanting to live life without the aid of glasses because of a personal purist belief that they ought to be able to do so, and going thru life not being able to see clearly as a result... Maybe reexamine that belief and stigma that you've given to the meds. You tried it out, gave it a valiant effort, but if your vision didn't clear up, maybe it's time to look into glasses... and not feel bad about it. It sounds like you're really struggling, and if you were able to live and not have those overwhelming feelings of despair, wouldn't that be better? Forget the guilt of taking meds, just like someone with poor vision or hearing, some people lack the chemicals or have too many chemicals or whatever science is going on in their brains that the meds help regulate. I think it's wise to get multiple opinions, but don't poopoo the doctors methodology just because it sounds strange- maybe it's best to let the wellbutrin levels build up for a week before raising the dose to what is required? who knows, but I'm sure it's not an arbitrary method, I'm sure there's been some trial and error before now, or some trials anyway. If it means that you could have daily happy days, be happy around your family, be happy at work and alone at home, would it be worth taking the meds? Perhaps the stigma that the meds are bad isn't so black and white, perhaps it's more of a case by case basis- in some cases people may be able to overcome their depression by other means, and in some people the meds may be necessary to lead a "normal" life. Even if the meds don't lead to daily happy days, they may take the edge off enough so that you feel more normalized and not overwhelmed with depression and despair. And maybe like recovery, it's best to not think about "forever", perhaps take them with the idea that they will get you out of the hellhole, out of the depth of despair, and onto a plateau that feels more comfortable, and then at that point you can reexamine where you're at... but the bottom line, I don't think you need to feel less than because you take meds, any more than someone with glasses is less than, which we all agree they're not. I think that feeling boils down to a stigma, which you can choose to reevaluate.

I don't know about that MFA. I don't agree. That could have detrimental results and I'm not sure that it would help. If its as vague as "personal health issues" they can assume whatever they like, and decide that it's in the kids' best interest to have a new teacher. Why does the rest of the staff need to know? Do they? Something about telling them doesn't sit right in this case.

good job!! you know there's a ton of exercise videos and stuff on youtube. you can always exercise to stuff like that until the treadmill get's working again. no need to let that stop you from getting your heart rate up.

does your husband know your predicament? I mean, it's the type of thing that you have to bite the bullet and jump into. Its going to suck somewhat. Depending on how much you're biting off all at once (how many pills are you going to stop at once), it may suck more or less a lot. It does feel good to live without the meds. We have all been there. Now we're all at various stages of here, on the other side. We waded thru the turbulent waters of hell and while the current and undertow tried to pull us back, we kept struggling on, all the while carrying loads on our back that were our jobs, spouses, kids, day to day life stuff and crap... and it wasn't easy. But we all decided that IT HAD TO START SOMETIME, and we could keep putting it off, and keep putting it off, because there never really is a convenient time, but carpe diem and fuck all that and let's do this shit cuz I don't know about you, but when I get the urge to do something like quit a drug, I better jump on that cuz that feeling may not be as strong later on. So I feel for you and your predicament. You're sort of on every day at school, it's not like you can chill the fuck out in your cubical or at home while your body and mind and soul and spirit heal. Maybe waiting until summer break would be best? I don't know. Do you want to put this off? You're standing at the edge of a better life, do you want to stay the side of abusing yourself with known poisons or do you want to look forward to the day when you can look back and shake your head with a sort of disgust with the way you lived for so long, unnecessarily, but unknowingly, and in fact urged at doctors orders to do so. It won't be easy, no matter when you decide to quit it won't be easy. If your husband is on board and knows what's up that will help a lot.... what do you think?

yeah, def been a weird week... bla.

lol SomedayDreamer. me too! I think concurrence is good around here.

Probably being warm and cozy! I don't think anyone could be super peppy and happy living on a boat on a cold river in Chicago, alone while battling addiciton and remaining drug free. Yo Falcon that's the same as putting a bunch of bricks in your backpack when you go for a hike-- you're making it harder on yourself! I googled Vitamin D and sho nuff it's good for depression, so I guess if you don't have the sun around to bask in, you gotta get sun in a bottle, and no not Sunny D, vitamin D.

do ya'll take vitamin D? I wonder if that helps with the cold/dark season blues? Is that what people sit in front of those lights for? is it the light or the vitamin D? Yo The Falcon, do you take vitamin D supplements? You may have a deficiency bro.

that basically boils down to harassment at the workplace. save all texts and proof of his behavior, everything that doesn't belong in a work place environment, and you could ultimately sue for harassment, early termination, etc. Just keep your side of the street clean. If your boss isn't helpful and doesn't fire the chef (because he is going to get the company in trouble) then you can sue (or threaten) the shit out of them. sounds totally inapropriate and f'd.

yo chaos, just fyi, when I quit the wellbutrin, it was cold turkey, and I noticed NOTHING- it was like I was popping m&m's every morning and then stopped... I definitely noticed the wellbutrin, especially at first, I went like 2 weeks on a few hours sleep a nite and was fine, was thirsty as could be, and stimulated... (and this was long before the addy) but I decided to stop taking it and just stopped... and nothing (though I was taking addy when I stopped the wellbutrin) vs, when I stopped taking prozac and I was light headed in waves for months, I'd have this wave wash over me and then dissipate, but it took months and months to go away. I think when you're ready to stop taking it, it won't be hard. but let us know. could have been an anomaly.

hey my brother falcon, I'm sorry to hear that... it's got to be something in the air or the water my friend, you're not the only one... I think everyone is feeling similar right now. I have had a shitty week too, it's been a bummer. all we can do is wait it out. it sucks though, and I'm bummed to hear the falcon is hurting right now... you haven't posted any music videos in a while, why the hell not. let's see some clapton or some bb or some knopfler or some frampton or who ever you like.... http://youtu.be/y7rFYbMhcG8

SO TRUE!! It's ok to sit in the shit and mope for a bit, we all have those days, but eventually we have to make things good again. I mean, some days we just wake up feeling like shit, and it's going to be a shitty day no matter what, but we can't want to stay like that, we do have to do things no matter how little we feel like doing them, to climb out of the cesspool of our own shit and clean off and get crackin on a new and better tomorrow. things will look up, hang tough, allow yourself to have a bad day or three, things will get better. and then they'll suck again, and then they'll get better, etc etc etc but that's life for everyone, not just us, not just PAWS, that's life. we just gotta learn to deal better.

getting better though right SomedayDreamer? you're out of the dark now, much better than days 1-6 right?

you got this. it sucks the first hand full of days, then it gets better. your mind fucks with you and the adderall calls, that starts to go away too. just keep trudging thru it no matter how much it sucks, once you're thru it it is a lot better.

gross! you pour 5 hour energy in a smoothy!?!?! lol that sounds nasty! why not just shoot it back? I think it works best if taken as a shot.... The colostrum pills give me some energy. I also just started drinking Apple Cider Vinegar drinks- a couple table spoons in water... supposed to be another miracle cure.

YES!!!! it definitely surely and with out a doubt gets better!!! it is tough and rough getting over the addiction hump, but that lasts days, and the rest is maintenance and regrowth. We have all become better people than we were when we arrived at this site. you'll see, soon you'll sound like me! 90 odd days in now, quit smoking cigs too, quit weed, eat healthy, exercise 4x a week, look good, feel good, life is fucking SO much better now!!! not peaches and cream, but real legit life.

welcome to the forum alli. we've all had similar experiences, feelings, results on our adderall rides thru life. we all ended up numb, the only thing missing were the yards and yards of gauze, otherwise we were entirely transformed into zombies. we weren't living, merely existing, not feeling, not loving, just feeding the shell that was left in our old selves place. we're all in various stages of "quit", quitting that shit that has ruined us and created the monster we became. we're all feeling A FUCK LOAD better now, not peaches and ice cream, but feeling! it's like coming out of a fog and reeling from the light, our feelings are strong and sometimes foreign. depressions are deep, followed by giddiness and euphoria that is almost unsettling at times. but we feel. the further away we get from the adderall the better we are. quit that shit, you too will feel better and be reborn a new and healthy person.

oh yeah, I know those things.... best if they're shared with someone else... had that same experience with an edible weed chocolate thing... they said, eat a quarter! split it with someone, was waaay too stoned... we gotta remember to listen to dosage suggestions!

your brain n body is like a science experiment right now- chemicals n hormones all out of whack. it'll all normalize in time, give it time, n prob the best thing to do with moms is tell her! "yo momma I'm sorry I'm being so nutty I stopped taking adderall and it's wreaking havoc on my system... bear with me please..." or something along those lines. bitch phase officially lasts 10 days. do stuff to release energy and sweat when you're up to it. don't give in or up, you got this, things'll get better soon and then they'll be waaay better than before or ever....

lol