sky

http://youtu.be/owJGSyhMT0U

keep trudging thru it... it gets better. the pain is to remind you of the destruction it caused, to remind you to never go back. like the scary forest in any tail, you never need go thru twice... make it thru and it's all rainbows and unicorns and us waiting for you on the other side. It's a lot in your head, so change your thoughts when you find your addiction doing the thinking. suffer thru it, you can do it, the hardest part is now, toughen up and get thru and it will ease up. do not give in. the agony of defeat will be much worse... you got this sister

let yourself have a crappy day! you know this is just one of those low point in the roller coaster of life days... perhaps set off by something, perhaps you just woke up that way. It will pass, you know this. tomorrow will be another day, hopefully you will feel better, but if not tomorrow then certainly the next day. and, if for some reason, not that day, then surely the day after that. And, if not that day either, well then, all we can do is hope that the day after that you begin to feel better. and, if that day is also equally or somehow worse than the preceding days, we can only hope and pray that the day after is better. and, if when you awake on that day, still life is sucking, well then, we can rest assured that certainly and with out a doubt, the next day will be better. but, if you find that when you wake up on that next morning, things are still not better, and in fact are worse, quite possibly worse by a factor of many and much, well then, all we can do is surmise that one day, hopefully soon, perhaps not, it will feel better....

the other thing is that ASIDE from our adderall problems/ addictions/ abuse, we have other character traits that we need to address/ improve/ work on. There are a ton of things you can do to see your shortcomings and work to surmount them. You can learn to feel more comfortable and confident in situations you find yourself in, you can learn to keep it from feeling debilitating and you can push it back when you feel discomfort rising... there are books and resources on the web that you may find helpful in giving you tools to use when you find yourself in those situations... remember too, that A SHIT TON OF FOLKS are also uncomfortable, insecure, faking confidence, over compensating, driving big trucks, wearing a mask, and generally worried about what you are thinking of them! ya know?

found this: http://www.sciencebase.com/science-blog/spurious-health-benefits-of-indium.html doesn't look promising. I wonder how many of the other supplements I take fall into the same category.

it's really interesting to notice how (but of course) early on in quitting people are focused more within, and as time passes and the worst of it is over, the focus turns without- to helping and giving support to others.... Keep up the good work Idmcniel, just trudge thru the first day, two, three, you can do it.

lol go-gurt is yogurt in a squeeze pouch... kind of like old school push-ups but with yogurt and in more of a capri-sun looking pouch... yogurt on the go.

yeah when I stopped taking it I just stopped taking it, didn't notice a thing. dude kyle_chaos, why are you asking us that question? that is definitely a question for your doctor, and unless your doctor is a member of this forum, no one on here should be the one to answer that question. Did your doctor tell you to up your dose? refer all questions like that to your doctor. EDIT: please note that when I stopped taking the wellbutrin I did so w/o consulting my doctor, and I did so during the time I was taking adderall. No idea if that had anything to do with not feeling any changes after I stopped.

hey there, I'm sure a lot of us can relate to various things you wrote. I think that it's all sort of par for the course when abusing a highly mind affecting substance like adderall. Seems like the things you listed are interrelated and are solely caused by each other- ie. if you don't want those things to be your reality, stop the adderall use and abuse and they'll go away.... some quicker than others. ie: Don't stay up on adderall binges for 3-5 days at a time, blowing thru your scrip and the people who aren't there won't be there, you won't hallucinate, won't have hard crashes, won't do those abnormal things inconsistent with regular self... those will be immediate changes. Then, after some time and healing of your mind, body, soul, spirit, and some footwork on your end, the feeling like a loser, depression, self loathing, apathy, and suicidal thoughts will all begin to dissipate. Not magically, but again, with footwork on your end. You're not a victim, you are driving the bus here. So if you want things to change badly enough, fucking change them. Stop taking adderall. It's that simple. It's not that simply done, but tough the fuck up and do it, get thru it, learn from others on this site the things you need to do to get thru the hardest part which will be tossing your pills so they're not an option, day 1, days 2-10, days 10-20, days 21-30, days 30-60, etc etc etc until you are out of the darkness and into the light, fully and completely. Do it dude.

LOL! that's great................. !

nope. fuck that. what you're feeling is real life baby. there are no magic pills, there's just dealing with it- the good and the bad, the ups and downs. Recogize those thoughts for what they are, pure addiction talking to you like a bird (a dirty street pigeon with one eye and a twisted leg) on your shoulder. you can consciously acknowledge it and say, "fuck off little bird, I got this" and give it a little flick with your finger. see it for what it is, don't empower it, it's the addiction, it will pass. rewrite your reality in a new light when it does. it is much better than that.

you gotta talk to your doctor dude, there are anti depressants for sure, a slew of them, but the one that's right for you has to come from your doctor... Wellbutrin was a good one I agree. though for what ever medical reasons may or may not be appropriate for you. talk to your doctor.

welcome to the forum brother. you are in a good place here. we understand your trials and tribulations, we've been in similar states, we can help you. quitting adderall is an excellent decision. I sound like a pastor or something. welcome to the forum.

so is Peep Show, on netfilx, great british sitcom. funny, totally great style too. has anyone seen it?

yeah watch it, it's one of those movies that sticks with you... btw Django was great too, but in a completely different way...

I'm digging the colostrum I started taking. not sure how vegan it is (zero on the vegan scale), nor am I entirely sure that it's really ethically procured (fucking whole meat and dairy industry is disgusting), but I ordered a bottle that seemed sunny and happy and I like the way I feel. A little more energy perhaps? certainly not as sleepy during the day. peppy.

haha oye, I'm not gonna give you very good advise here, cuz I don't deal with that stuff super well- as in I don't know any ways of moving on besides time.... it's just time walking away, and the further and further you get away from it the less and less it hurts and affects you.... a relationship that's been going on that long is going to be a big part of you, maybe the only thing to really do is treat it the same way you treat the addiction. though there may be more frequent "relapses" in the beginning... sounds good that you realized that it's a dead end eventually, that you and he don't want the same things... that's healthy. and as soon as you free yourself from him, the sooner you'll be available to someone else who may very well want what you want... lord knows as long as you're somewhat taken you're not available to anyone else...

Oh there'll be no assatall in these babies. so when is the Vegas reunion anyway?

oh they'll be glutin free, vegan, sugar free, fat free, 100% American grade A Grateful Dead style magic balls of crap.

http://vitals.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/01/21/16628054-adhd-in-kids-jumps-24-percent-in-a-decade-study-shows?lite

I'll bring em to VEGAS baby!!!

yo my brother falcon! I do know what you mean, up and down and up and down and sometimes sideways.... it sucks, I think though, that it is definitely a part of recovery that we can expect... especially at certain times: 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years.... I dunno how it goes after 1 year, but from what I remember from when I was younger, it definitely seems to hit at certain "birthdays". Good to hear that you're doing things to combat it, and hopefully it warms up there soon, it's like spring here these days, wonderful... do you really pack 20lbs of bricks in a back pack?? dude be careful of your back and shoulders!! you're like Rocky or something!

The DELETE button is back!!!!!!! oh glory days!!

Found this book on Amazon, looks interesting and maybe like something that could help?? tell me what you think....

it's off the table. but that's half of it, the other half is figuring out how to deal with the challenge in front of us. since its not an option, we come up with solutions that don't involve Ritalin or adderall or blowing it up with dynamite or saying the dog ate it or claiming no comprende or any other equally ludicrous excuse or solution... we find a way- u mentioned using lists, things like that, others mentioned breaking tasks up into manageable parts, breaks, rewards, etc...