Heather67

I love this little Guy in your post...in the real world you'll do whatever you want I suppose..vs the highly disciplined ,structured military,yes sir,no sir...CHAOS,KYLE ,Sir(Hahaha ). You'll thrive I'm sure.

Guess its been around but I hadn't heard of it...don't know why. The ad comes on the radio and its geared towards working fucked up job shifts?????? FOR REAL????? so you can just say you're on the grave shift and can't stay awake and blammmmm...here ya go???? Are u kidding me. Well I checked it out and its the pharmaceutical wheels greases each other ..seems a patents ending so theyre just really naming the shit..blah,blah...insurance rarely covers it and shits like 400.00 a month to buy. What the fuck are these people doing...give an easy??? Way to get what seems like low grade speed to get thru a shift at work. How conveinient that story woulda been back in the day...though it states stipulations...I don't know bout that, but I know I could get a script for addies from my ob/gyn...just seems this is almost an easier route except the price of course...but I'm shaking my head that all of the sudden all the kids are gonna have their narcolepsy diagnosis firmly in hand...or swing shift disease...what the fuck ever. Some well dressed C.E.O is bringing home some bank off. this shit. Total bullshit.

this is exactly what I have been kinda going thru lately....sorta feeling super sluggish, kinda lumpy as I pack on a few more pounds and feel a little more matronly. And for fuck sakes a tan may help a little!!!! Fuck this Casper shit already....its crazy but I was thin..too much at points...I had long hair,a great tan...cute clothes in tiny sizes and I felt like I was a cool chick...not trying to be younger in a retarded way...but I felt younger than my age. Now......fuck...I feel 20 years older,I feel lumpy and dumpy. And rarely want to do that much...when my husbands shit got bad I had a freak moment and hacked the fuck outta my hair....its growing...I didn't go g.I Jane ...but I cut about 6-7 inches off. So I feel just like some lady now....its weird.

Congrats indeed Ms. Ashley....wise beyond your years possibly do to the hard road you've chosen initially to get you on the better and easier one. You're feet are firm...and yet you seem to figure out a way to keep reaching for something a little better each day. I have no doubts you're gonna keep doing.it and sharing it with all of us...for we need you as much as you need us. :)

Its white. And I believe its been all de-dog haired too. At the red lights bumping my Sponge Bob c.d with the campfire song on it....that's some sexy shit it is. "Whatchu looking at??? You want some of this"..(Rev,Rev,)...hold on to your cheetos Christian, mommy's hitting the nitras tank. LOL

2 weeks is a huge turning point I'm noticing. Easier to embrace the "slow" of a day without adderall. Something that never goes hand in hand when still using. My life is a bit too mundane lately...been a long winter of being in a house 24/7 with a 3 year old and no car...that's being rectified this week with a car from.the mother in law. My feelings about the easier life come in waves...I'm very accepting of it sometimes and then just really bored with it at other times. It'll all come together at some point,everything does. And food, any food is a big part of quitting. I pretty much only ate dinner before,and that would consist of a few bites out of the pan. Not the case now..and I have a lot of pants that no longer fit to prove it. LOL

Congratulations for sure. A year is monumental and I've been there before too. Just hoping I can get there again,stories like yours just convince me a little more that anyone can. Thanks for that and your honesty as well.

I want you to please,please go to a site called THE JUNKY WIVES CLUB. it got me through many a homicidal moments with women just like me..in relationships with addicts. They have individual groups codeine codices,pill groups and everything in between. Will help to fill some deep voids along with this site. You will feel a little relief ..I hope..I did.

Take it from someone who stayed longer than I had any business staying in my husbands heroin addiction....get out. His bottom is low ...that's apparent ..I had many pieces of furniture,stereos computer tossed around like toys,while I sat motionless hoping nothing would hit me,only to run for the door when he turned his back and leave my own home on foot if necessary ...hide in the woods long enough to call a friend to pick.me up. I didn't know this man...and I feared him most definitely. He didn't care about his own life anymore ..why the fuck would this asshole care about mine. We had a son..and I ran so that my child could have atleast one parent. It took a 5 year prison sentence to get my husband to give up dope. If I didn't have a sentencing date to hold on to....I would have left with nothing and never gone back. You will not win him back from his addiction....he won't quit to stop you from crying or screaming or giving "another" ultimatum. ..he has to live like real addicts do,without the comforts. You still keep up the appearences to the best of your abilities ..you still provide for his needs. He is spoiled. And the disease knows this. You have to go and let him make a solitary choice for his own life...with time and proof,maybe you'll be together the right way sometime...but maybe not. My husband will have one chance when he's released in about 4 years to prove himself...because just even one hint of heroin...I assure you...it will be easy for me to leave ...that is a hell someone will only survive once. Please stay safe and sane and do what's best for you.

So my mother in law is giving me her car this week! "!! I'm sure how freeing this will be has not really begun to sink in. I have been without a car for 7 fuckin months now. Not having even access to my moms till 6:00 pm on any given day due to her work schedule. Then I still get the "mom eye" on the rare occasion I do get up the balls to ask for it. I will now be free to run to the store..go to a friends when I'm invited...look for a job.,etc. I wont be used to a car I can take whenever I want being in the driveway. She's keeping it insured and registered also so I don't have to dick with that at the moment. Ill be getting it this week...definitely not used to much going in my favor these days.

Hi-5 on that one!!! Those moments of intense panic have been removed." How the fuck am I paying for these"...when $$$ is what stands between you and your "meds" the mind wanders to strange places. Lol. Those were crazy,crazy moments that easily induced screaming from me until the mission was complete,then instantly happy in a twisted and psuedo way. Time is more easily managed when not questing for the plastic bottle with the child proof cap. LOL

its been almost 2 and a half months.

Yeah,it was. Its maybe just the general doing and feeling of anything without it being the adderall enhanced feeling. That seems to take awhile to really get used to...well,for me anyway.

FOLLOW UP TOO...I think if you're a true alcoholic its gotta be a bitch too because its so socially acceptable and readily available and rather inexpensive. If they sold addies with the lifesavers at the gas stations....would we all be doing as well as we are???? Hmmm??? Never thought of it that way.

I know watching and living with my husbands hardcore heroin habit ...he wasn't giving it up to.save himself or any of the rest of us. A prison.cell is what allowed him to quit...NOTHING ELSE. I'm not an opiate fan,I know they give energy to many people...not me...out like a light and queasy. As far as booze and benzos...they are the only two substances that can kill you during withdrawal. If you have a serious addiction to either...most opiate addicts use a transitional drug...suboxone(which is highly abused and bought and sold) or methadone...u have to go.somewhere every fuckin day to get off your drug...and actually just switching to another kinda legal form. Alcoholics in a.a have some serious time off the bottle..a lot of people and old timers who will live and die sober...you wont find that in N.A...no disrespect but you are hard pressed to find people with even 5 years clean. But in the end everyone I went to rehab with made a 4 day stop in the detox unit do to either opiate abuse or benzos.....NOT ME ...THEY HAVE NO DETOX FOR ADDERALL. WTF. so day one I was forced up at like 5:15 to do my chore..house meeting and get ready for an entire day of group...it sucked but I did it for 30 days. Every girl in the house of young adults. ..23 total ..would relapse. And quickly. They had detox....I would go on to actually get close to 4 years before fucking it all up again. It may not feel easier to quit sometimes...but I think in all reality it is. Tho the actually made in a trailer Meth seems quite the bitch toi ....

So,when I was doing my thing with adderall..I handled it all with multiple doctors prescribing various mgs. I would have to go outside my own town often...and I had one psych APRN up in a town called Warwick its the furthest out I traveled for a prescriber...like 45 min. From my town...she was a strange one...her office was outta her home...she never seemed to hear things I said to her ...and I recall her saying she was leaving a script taped to the door for me the day after Thanksgiving ...so I hauled my kid all the way there to find it NOT ON THE DOOR. Freaking out.I was ...weekend coming up..had none. She was seeing other patients and I was manically calling and leaving messages..asking patients going in.yo tell her I was there....I'm sure it was apparent to her I was a drug seeker...who fuckin cares about later ....I WANT MY FUCKIN SCRIPT NOW. I finally got it..and she did suggest I get someone closer to home....whatever...I went to Walgreens and had a rather pleasant ride home. My point is coming...today my mother and I took my son to the airport up there to watch the big planes,its like 3 minutes from this APRN's house...and I found myself mixed between "how fucked up was I" at that point....and "it'd be kinda cool to cop another script(tho that wouldn't happen)...I had the sensation.of the last time I was there...it was very specific and deja vu. Feeling. Shitty for being so desperate,pathetic and obvious.....and feeling happy and euphoric that it got me my pills. Its weird ...it was a strange day.

Told ya...a quote in a quote for me to quote????? Are you serious? ??? Scarey out the gate. LOL

YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THE CALIFORNIANS!!!! OMG LOVE THAT SKIT!!! Best one was the one with Mick Jagger ...trying to ditch that English accent to get some "Spicolli" on (fast times at ridgemont high,mate!!!! LOL HYSTERICAL !!!!

Good to hear. I was wondering how you're end of the bargain (so to speak) was goin pertaining to you're kicking it post. Keep it up...sorry on San Diego ...east coast all up in here. LOL

Don't make us come to Chicago! !!!!! (I think..LOL )

Yeah...but where did our fellow adderall hater go???????

Oh I love those inserts!!!! Folded up all tight in like 48 squares...then you open it up,and WOW!!! MORE INKED WORDS THAN THE ENTIRE LOCAL SUNDAY PAPER ROUND HERE HAS,,,,ON ONE PIECE.....COOL. LOL. That was the stuff I'd kinda wave my hand at the tech and say ...oh.yeah,you can keep that stuff...and yeah that too. Hell keep your bags too...just hand me the bottle is cool. Oh boy...them daze. Crazy.

Hey dude...welcome to the site...it is the bomb indeed. So you're lookin to let it all go....excellent choice and unfortunately there aren't many ways round the start of the quit...I had alllllll those things you described too ...and a husband a house and 3 young kids to handle...that was 2006.. I went to a 30 day rehab...so my kids didn't see the withdrawal ...but even staying clean for 3 years after...I'd have to quit again...2 months ago. Does your girlfriend know your problem and all its specifics???? That helps for sure...cuz yeah...you'd be booted to the lepper colony for sure if you started acting all withdrawal -y for what they thought was no reason. LOL better to stay quit too than to start again too. If you resign yourself to how you will feel and act....that really helps. Be o.k with being a slug as much as responsibilities allow...you know its to get to a better you son. So.please keep us posted on your process.and how you're doing.

HAHAHA ....I lov'd the EWWWWW!!! Ya coulda said I like how I feel when I wear flannel shirts?????? No huh???? Well you know Little Miss Doom and Gloom is gonna get in on this one...so duck,duck,duck....goose!!!! I like that I am fiercely loyal,I like that if you wanna tell me something and you say.."please don't tell anyone"....guaranteed I will not. Not my spouse or best friend..no one. I like that I never,ever picked on anyone in school..I feel good about that. I like that when I see a" feel good story" on t.v....ill cry happy tears. ...and I like happy tears too. I like that I've never had a one nite stand. I like that my kids friends like me. Im o.k with my thinking out loud...I like that I am a perfectionist about frosting cupcakes...LOL. I like that I'm an only child. My mom is too probably. I like that I have mistakes in my life...the most comfy.things have slubs and flaws. I like this post ...it was therapeutic.