SeanW

I'm right there with you Eric I'm at 9.5 months and I haven't felt much improvement in quite sometime but I just keep telling myself it'll get better. I lost any motivation to workout but recently have forced myself to play sports and at first I'm not into it but afterwards I'll feel a tiny bit better. Looking forward to a year

@Frank B man I think about my pain pill use often and I may be wrong and don't want take away from anyone struggles but I think that shit was a particularly shitty combo for the brain with adderall and made the recovery a lot worse. Like it was double the high, double the damage. It stopped working for me in the end too couldn't focus or anything. Don't want to be discouraging just interesting to see someone else who was using pain pills with it.

Think of it as a journey, a new you and story. It's going to be pretty dark at first but beautiful none the less. When you look back six months, a year, two years from now you'll see the beauty and be amazed at the strength you found that you didn't know you had. You'll find a whole new you and beauty in life that will carry you to places way more magnificent than adderall would ever take you. Just one day at a time, one moment at a time, stick it out. It's going to be tough, really tough, the toughest thing you probably will ever have to do. You can do it. You will do it. It may seem like you don't know how the hell you're going to do it but you don't need to know how. Just know you will. You'll come back, you'll find yourself and be human again.

Looking back what's been so tough for me is my loss of the sense of time like I had no future I fried myself so bad I forgot all my past and life before abuse and now that things are getting better I feel like I have a future and can kinda see and sense it just know things get better and tomorrow is a new day when you're feeling like shit

Similar story similar age. Not going to lie it has been and is hell for me. Looking back at those first few months god damn it was rough. It's been 9 months now and its definitely gotten better but it's not easy. The shit was fun but it's not sustainable and fucks you up long term so stick it out and hang tough.

I'm with you on that Eric, fall asleep relatively easy but wake up between 1-3 almost every night but I'll usually eat some snacks and fall back asleep

Lol maybe so I remember when I first started or after a really long break it was absolutely amazing haha the food the laughs it's awesome

I smoked for 7 years and throughout my adderall use and took breaks from it here and there and quit it along with adderall 9ish months ago. Some people say they have no negatives. I definitely enjoyed it before I started abusing amphetamines. The paranoia from sleepless nights and no food and heavy amphetamine use was heightened from smoking so I lost the positive effects from it. Kinda scared me. Before the amphetamines though I loved it as long as I had it. It was great in the evenings. I think it wouldn't be a bad thing in moderation like weekends or every other week. Just depends on the person. I'm still experiencing pretty serious anhedonia so smoking for the previous years prolly contributed.

Awesome post, that's the adderall experience right there. At least for me too. I was going to be a singer song writer maybe a famous dj too while breezing through a degree that demanded 40-50 hours a week from the smartest students on campus. Still trying to get back to reality but it's only been 9 months. Looking forward to getting this first year under my belt. Happy for you.

haha thanks man, I guess I'm just in a slump because for the first six months I forced my self to go out with friends and it was just shitty and for the last couple months I've just been like fuck it I'm fucked but yeah man I guess I need to try to pick the positivity back up and just say what the fuck ever and if I make a fool of my self let it go. I never gave a shit before adderall and try to remind myself that but for some reason I do now after whatever I did to my brain. Anyways man hope you stay on here and things go well for you, a team sport will definitely help in recovery.

Man.. I know exactly how you feel, in the beginning I used it a lot for tennis although i wasn't going pro and was just a small college. The confidence and motivation it gave made me play like a champ it made you forget everything, live in the moment and believe in yourself. All things you can do without a drug and once you develops that without a drug it sticks and doesn't leave you crashing down a mere few hours later like adderall. Also, with the girlfriend not understanding the hell we put ourselves through and keeping it cool on the surface right there with you on that and in my case my gf left my ass right when I was quitting which you'll need all the love and support you can get. And the cycle.. going back to binge then immediately being like fuck this shit then coming across the pills or script again and doing it all over and over. I was convinced I was going to quit probably 30-40 times over the last two years then I realized I was going fucking nuts and would kill my self or die so I cut off my source and it's been 9 months and feeling like I did permanent damage. If you can stop and still fall back into life socialize etc no problem please do it man you don't want to fuck your shit up long term and be in this shit hole I still am at 9 months clean. Appearing crazy unable to communicate ridiculous anxiety. I wish you the best and that you say fuck adderall for good cause it's not leading you anywhere you want to be trust me.

Keep on keeping on, it'll get better.

Man I can relate. Quit adderall benzos and pain killers and marijuana little over 8 months ago and my family just doesn't seem to understand why I might be in the shape I am. Anyways, merry Christmas

I would give it more time and try natural remedies like exercise, healthy diet, mediation, counseling. Then if around 9-10 months you still feel this way or like you haven't improved then I would try Wellbutrin if any.

I notice my eyes hurt a little bit and are a little more sensitive although they might have been the same way during adderall I just didn't notice cause I was jacked through the roof on 60-100 mg

Interested in the update

We've all been there and know how you feel. One day you'll have had enough regardless so the sooner the better. I wish you the best.

You're welcome. I agree it is a very lonely, tough recovery..

To be honest the first six months improvement seemed very gradual and hardly noticeable but in the past couple weeks I've felt significantly better. Still seem to have good days and bad days but the good days seem better. Definitely getting my energy back and feeling stronger. Emotions are still out of whack, looking forward to the next few months and reaching one year.

Coming up on 7 months clean. Used Wellbutrin 3-5 didn't really notice much of a difference so I figured I'd stop. Didn't want to be hooked on any meds.

Pretty much hit rock bottom. I knew it was terrible health wise what I was doing for most the time I was doing it but after I lost my girlfriend of 7 years, dropped out and wasted thousands on school, was on the verge of going crazy that I realized I had to stop. It's been five months and still feel pretty shitty. Zero confidence and not much drive to do anything.

Find support or someone to talk to via a counselor, social groups, anything. You don't need to be in a relationship just try to find what you love, as cliche as that sounds. If your depression is that bad already you really do not need to continue using.. Consider therapy and just try your best to connect to people and be healthy.

The sooner you can quit the better because eventually adderall won't be able to save you from the depression and anxiety. When that time comes it'll be a hell of a lot worse than quitting now. I know it's ridiculously hard and tempting but the sooner you quit the better.. after a couple months you should be feeling significantly better. Especially considering your dosage which is honestly, reasonably low. If you keep at it one day you might see yourself taking 100mg+/day and by then you'll be in for a lot more serious ride than now. Anyways, I don't mean to sound disregardful or disrespectful in anyway. You'll be surprised how you'll bounce back if you can resist the temptation of the high.

Drowning

Hey cheeri0, I understand how you feel and how tough it is. My girlfriend of 7 years left me two weeks after I quit. It's been four months since then and it hasn't been easy. It's been the hardest longest four months of my life. You can do it though. Just do your best and take care of yourself, it'll all be okay.