EricP

Great to hear from others on this! @SeanW and @SleepyStupid I relate to the daily scattered thoughts and anxiety this causes. Mentally exhausted from overthinking is likely a real problem for me... I spent my first few months at many doctors trying to figure out what is wrong with me... I still get stuck overthinking that at times along with the hundreds of things I’d like to do that don’t get done... @hyper_critical and DopeyMean how long after quitting did you find your regained “clarity”? I believe you have both been off like 4+ years now?

I seem to read mixed reviews here on their perception of mental clarity since quitting... While I do absorb things and just “think a lot more about everything” since quitting at times I find some disturbing brain fog, zoning out and a little forgetfulness since quitting. In some ways I think I am over focused on some of it, other things I may have had during adderall however while moving 100x faster my mistakes didn’t bother me as much. Just wondering if most here feel a big imporovement in their mental clarity since quitting or more like there is a slight chemical imbalance without adderall that were still balancing to regain normal thought process?

I would say your job must be a challenge in ways due to the hours and not having a normal sleep cycle. Hopefully your room is dark so you can at least fake your body into a normal cycle. I would have low morning modivation also with those hours! Interesting for me I sometimes have a little morning depression that slows me down however for the most part I am good in the beginning of the day as the day goes on I get more of an afternoon low. I can usually fight thru it and keep going. However on long work days if I put in like 12hrs the next day I am literally beat. Possibly you have the same response except your powering thru 2am and then having a similar crash in the morning...

Yeah 20 years is a LONG time! And given you didn’t have much for side effects it would be tempting to just stay on it... However what happens if these side effects show up later say in your 60’s and then have to go thru this process when your mind and body have far less ability to heal and less tolerant to change? 14 months is awesome and I would definitely keep going! Having that much time invested would be a real bummer to give up especially if your getting close to a healthy pivot point in your life.

Here is a pretty good read (not sure if it has been posted before) it pretty much outlines every good and bad way to stimulate dopamine as well as what actions decrease it. Thinking I will try some of the safe recommendations that I didn’t know about. https://www.selfhacked.com/blog/ways-to-increase-and-decrease-dopamine/

Congratulations in your journey to quit after so many years! While not many here have been on adderall for 20 years there are a few myself included that only used therapeutic doses. For recovery purposes I personally don’t believe it matters as much the “dose” as it does the length and consistency of use. Therefore someone who would binge just on weekends with a 100mg high would have a much easier time quitting altogether than someone who did 10-20mg daily. Also consider that some people are more sensitive than others. Low dose did a lot for me yet others I know need 4x what I took to get the same described bennifits. Even when I was younger and friends of mine would party passing cocaine around on a plate doing 1-2 lines each time it slowly went around a room, I couldn’t do more than 1/4 what they did and would pass up many rounds. Meanwhile tweaked out! We all have our own tolerances. Adderall changes brain chemistry and once used daily the mind becomes dependent on the adderall for operation and motivation to function. Taking adderall is like instant food for the brain flooding it with rewarding dopamine without having to work for it. Once this is process is interrupted the brain has to begin remapping itself back to its normal state of operation and relearning what things trigger the natural rewards. In some ways it may never be the “normal” you once had pre adderall however you will live a “new normal”. We have to keep pushing ourselves to do and feel new things to help grow our new mind. It is a slow processs that we’re all in, so Very Slow you can’t even grasp the progress unless you have taken a journal along the way or if you flash back say 6mo to a challenging moment or social situation and think of how you were then and realizing you could do much better in same scenerio now. i don’t have a solution for you however I think you are doing the right thing and don’t discount how responsible the meds are in this, it’s not your fault! Keep posting and stay strong, we’re all in this together!

I really don’t know if there is any one trick to help this common complaint. Each of us is different in our recovery however our complains are very similar. I was also on sertraline and can say it helped curb some morning depression for me however it did nothing to modivate. I stopped after a few weeks however my doc said I should have given it at least 3mo to truly evaluate. As for supplements I think taking Tyrosine as well as multi vitamins, B’s etc may just help fuel the body a bit as a foundation however nothing that you will really “feel”. Mucuna pruriens is an interesting one over the counter to try on a low dose. Many people use it for mental clarity, fitness etc however it is basically natural form of L-dopa. I have tried a few times and definitely feel clearer minded on the days I have used it. I just don’t think it should be used long term or every day. For me it just helped confirm that low dopamine is the main issue as by adding this my brain worked better. I am reserving it use to once a week max just to avoid getting stuck dependent on anything else. Is your energy lows every day or do you sometimes have some or any ok days then crash?

That's awesome! Maybe I'll start gaming first... I always had a heave foot so to speak so being in my 40's now pushing my limits to find adrenaline and possibly getting hurt won't be a good mix

I almost bought a gaming console for myself for Xmas however I decided to wait until I was a little more productive in life. Not sure if I would get sucked in just yet or not.

8mo so it's still a little early... Yeah, I thought of that as well as buying another dirt bike. I used to ride a lot and had some great thrills & times off road!

I am still tripping out on how I have little to no adrenaline response. Yesterday a very sudden accident happened right in front of me on the freeway while driving that I could have easily been a part of if I didn't react appropriately. Thankfully no one was hurt... Anyway I simply hit the breaks and maneuvered around the crashing cars as needed completely calm and emotionless while everyone else was freaking out! I guess it can be good to be "calm" however I do miss "feeling"

Hope she is OK... It’s been almost 24hrs from her post and no sign of her checking in... I hope it was just a bad moment and she found some support and is alright.

I’d say take small steps toward healthy things when you feel the courage to try. Walking or even a short run, workout if you can find a way to get the energy. Just don’t over do it or you’ll likely crash harder the next day. I still battle with crashing

Don’t do it! Your Dad loves you no matter how mad or cranky he sounds. Try to give him some space for awhile. I had someone close in our family commit suicide and I can tell you it leaves so much pain behind in everyone. Your life has a purpose and you deserve to live it. I can’t tell you how to get over your lows from adderall however I have faith with time things will get better for you. Lows like this do pass. Prayers to you

It’s a hard call... I can say there are days that it just seems physically impossible to do anything beyond the absolute minimum and others that once you motivate yourself and you end up doing a lot more than you though you could. I still feel like at this 8mo mark of mine that dopamine adjustment goes in waves. Have some pretty good productive days in a row and then some bad ones where you “show up” however the day is a big blur and you just basically did whatever was needed to survive it...

Ugggg...

Vivid dreams are a common side effect of low dopamine levels. You can google that alone and find medical references. As for terrors I think that is a version of a vivid dream combined with an individuals worst fears, movie choices or past life experience that are altered dream flash backs that get manifested in these vivid dreams.

There are plenty of Kava options on Amazon also... Thanks for the tip, I may try this for sleep

Welcome to the forum! It really doesn’t sound like Adderall is right for you. Or possibly you are very sensitive and the dose is too high. Therapeutic amounts often start around 5mg twice daily. However I am not reccomending staying on it by any means. Maybe Wellbutrin or something that isn’t so strong. Docs unfortunately have to experiment with meds sometimes. You maybe overly sensitive to Adderall and be experiencing highs and lows of dopamine. Lows being when you have the head nods. I also had the head nodding thing towards the end of taking Adderall and the months following. I did a ton of research about that and other symptoms and went to multiple docs worried about Parkinson’s like symptoms. Basically you can’t be diagnosed with Parkinson’s until you have a very specific tremor or rigidity/stiffness that affects movement. With time off Adderall probably 3-4mo is when that symptom went away for me. I believe the periods where my head would nod was when my dopamine levels were very low and with time this stabilized. I am not a doctor however so cannot tell you specifically what is going on with you, I am just sharing my experience. Everyone including docs will promote exercise which does help, however feels near impossible when you feel horrible to begin with. Hope some of this helps.

A little over 4 with some time off after the first 2. Stopped the first time just to try med free & had few side effects that time however after feeling in the dumps a long while started again and stopped this time due to bad side effects and lots of reading about how bad it is.

Glad to hear you feeling better, I am doing a little better also just tend to fade a bit in the afternoon. Hoping to hit the gym tonight a snap out of it. I agree on engaging, there seems to be a lot of lurkers that read and don't post... Which is fine however the more we talk about this stuff the more we can help support each other and put the low days behind us.

I did one of these tests and yes dopamine was low and norepinephrine was even lower which from my reading norepinephrine is produced primarily by dopamine so will always be lower. I took this information to two neurologists and they both shrugged it off saying there just inst enough known about these tests and their accuracy in urine... My primary doc asked for a copy however didn't know what to say either. There are homeopathic doctors that believe in these tests and one I saw here locally wanted me to take over the counter Muccuna Purens (natural L-Dopa). I bought a bottle and tried a couple times however after reading further its connection to treating movement disorders like Parkinson's etc my fear was depending on it and again having something that requires increased doses and becomes ineffective over time. I can say it seemed to take a little edge off however I did not take long enough or near even the quantity I was told to take. Safety of this supplement long term is unclear to me. It would be interesting however if more of us here did take these tests to see if there is any consistency in the outcomes, I would be happy to post mine from a few months ago. The Neurologist that I like said the biggest issue with not having answers is that there is no one doing true studies about people like us who quit adderall so they have little information on what to do to help... Usually docs just try to fill your script of find a replacement.

Frank, I am sorry you are in a rough patch. In one sense for me this is a bummer for all of us however also reassuring we all have similar symptoms so can relate and support each other. My bad slump here just lasted a little over a week, I like you started skipping work to workout which helped however I still don't want to do anything else when I am done... Thank for the encouragement Danquit, Yes many days are one foot in front of another. Some days are a blur and I show up and say and do what I need to to get by with work and people in my life however at the end of the day it's kind of a blur. Some days are clearer than others, the deep lows are scary as we are all hoping for linear PAWS progress which just doesn't seem to happen. Its like a bad stock or watching bitcoin haha... Depending on stress and emotion our motivation and clarity can greatly change daily. I definitely find myself quickly in a fog once I am faced with a few stressful triggers in a day it's like it just hits me...

As I approach 8 months I have seen improvements however the motivation thing still sucks and while I have some weeks in a row that I do pretty good I still find that I often out of nowhere hit ugly lows that nearly put me on the couch for a couple days and take about a week to crawl out of to somewhat normal functioning levels. I guess my question is to those who have made it past 1yr + do you still have random explainable lows like this? What is normal and what do I have to look forward to? I guess I am just a bit discouraged as I had a good couple months where I felt some great progress and then my recent unexplained low was almost as debilitating as if I rewound a few months.

I think we all share this frustration, I had a touch of it before Adderall however never less modivated than this. I think part of it besides modivation is the lack of “reward” even if I do get up off the couch and force myself to do something good for the household it all feels “blah” to me. Getting back to the couch just seems like the place I want to be. I pray some comes back after the 1-2yr mark otherwise I’ll end up on welfare. Lol