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LILTEX41

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Everything posted by LILTEX41

  1. Tinybuddha, I'm glad you made it back and I'm sorry you are struggling. I agree with quitonce. Take the test and then be done with them. Stick around the forums and maybe find a support network. I know you can do this. I have faith in you!
  2. How are you doing Lunax? Miss talking to all of you! Hope the wedding plans are coming along well.
  3. Hey Shorti, How are you feeling today? I hope you are okay. Please keep us posted. Hugs!
  4. Awe, thank you all so much!! I love you guys and so proud of all of you. I've been waiting and waiting to get to this moment of 3 years and it feels AMAZING. I feel so thankful and blessed to be home with my family. I will post more once I get settled here, but just wanted to say thank you for all of your love and support. You guys are the BEST!! HUGS!!!
  5. Hey everyone! I just had to get on here first thing this morning to share my SUCCESS. I AM 3 YEARS CLEAN FROM ADDERALL!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! I can't believe I made it this long, but I did and I am GRATEFUL. I'm sorry I haven't been around the boards much, but I just moved back to Columbus, OH and still in the process of setting up my new place. Internet guy comes today so I should be able to hop on line by later tonight. Anyhow, thank you everyone for your support during and over the years. It's meant so much to me. Love you guys!! Love, LILTEX...oops, I mean LILOHIO.
  6. I got a counter offer y'all! It's INSANE!!! I'm staying with my old company now and working from home in Ohio. I CAN'T believe the offer I got with NO ADDERALL. Life is GOOD. GOD is GOOD. Hallelujah!!!!
  7. Ashley, Back to your original quest before I got distracted by Cassie's post, (LOL), I think if you get these thoughts, you should just allow them to come in and accept them. Try to look at them as if you were sitting on a bench and just observing the thoughts in a thought bubble travel down the street. There goes a thought bubble with Adderall inside. Here comes another one about something else, etc. Try not to get too attached to them and notice that they will come and go. If you find yourself thinking about it non-stop, maybe try and find something enjoyable to distract yourself until the thoughts pass. Are they better today, by the way?
  8. Girls, I hear you. My mom is here now and we are packing up my apartment. When I moved here, I was on Adderall and moving was fun. This SUCKS, but it WILL get done and once I get all this crap back to my new place I just know I am going to feel AMAZING that we conquered this without Adderall. It is great that she's here. I could never do this on my own. We are teaming up and knocking it out together. Just don't give up. I keep thinking about the one post somebody posted recently. 80% of success is just showing up. This is SO true! I showed up on race day and I made it to the finish line. I show up at work everyday (maybe I'm not the BEST one there), but I still got a raise this year and I didn't wind up in the psych ward. Just do it girlfriends. We GOT THIS!
  9. I finished the tri. It was exhausting and excruciating. I did not do anywhere near enough training, but I crossed the finish line and that is what counts. Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement! Means so much!! Hugs!
  10. Thank you everyone!!!! LilOhio...ha ha ha..Love it! I guess I am going to have to change my name. Maybe I'll change it back to my original screen name and real name, Erin. Y'all are awesome!
  11. Running Club, It is the night before the storm! I am posting this now as a way to motivate myself for tomorrow's race. I WILL post about my finish tomorrow. I WILL POST. I WILL FINISH. I WILL DO THIS. Love you guys!
  12. Congratulations bud!! You got it. Just don't give up!
  13. Just wanted to announce I got the job in Ohio and I am moving back in a week! I should be arriving home on 3 year anniversary. I'm pretty excited.
  14. Lunax, Way to go girlie! I am so proud of you!!! This is A GIANT step forward. All down hill from here on out!
  15. 5 miles is better than no miles! I've had plenty of those weeks myself. But I like to think of those weeks as setting the reset button in that I am just recovering and healing my muscles so that I can go even farther and harder the next week. Booyah!
  16. Awe, see that's beautiful! Maybe you can try to come up with some activities/fun things that will bring her pleasure and do them together. Focus on loving her and you will find some joy and motivation to stay strong and drug free.
  17. LOL! LOVE this. Sorry, can't help but laugh. Yes, that is EXACTLY what we want you to do! No, but for real. Yeah, it's gonna be a real bitch of an assignment, but YOU CAN DO IT! The good news is that you actually know what you are PASSIONATE about without Adderall. Yes, I say use that passion as Bobby Bocher calls it, your "tackling fuel" to stay motivated. And yes, there is never a good time to quit. It sucks no matter when, what, why, or how. Suck it up and JUST DO IT! Hugs!
  18. It is definitely no way to live. Find blessings and pleasures in all the small things in life. One thing I've done this past week that I've found really enjoyable is to light this jar candle every night. I light it when I eat my meals now as it is soothing and makes me happy. It reminds me to slowly and mindfully enjoy my meal and savor every bite. It just makes the atmosphere so pleasant. I then take it with me and sit it the coffee table for the rest of the evening. Simple things make me happy today. Do you have any little pleasures like this you could use during your quit to bring you joy?
  19. So proud of all of you! Keep up the great work!
  20. DAMN STRAIGHT, Krax! That is BEAUTIFUL!
  21. Kev, Can you look for another job until you quit at least? Even if it's a temp gig or just something easier and not as stressful. I wouldn't quit a job unless I had another one in the works. Unless you are a millionaire or something. I took a step back in my job as being a supervisor. I wasn't capable of handling the stress, pressure, and anxiety from being in charge of other people on top of trying to perform my own job. It made things a lot easier. I ended up leaving the company though because I felt like everyone there knew too much about me and my image was tarnished. I wanted a clean fresh start where people didn't know me and the workload would be easier. It worked and I am happy to report that I am now confident in my working ability Adderall free. It wasn't easy though. Starting a new job is hard and stressful no matter what. I don't really like my current job, but I am at least not constantly reminded of the person I used to be. Sometimes my old co-workers will text me and they say things as if they are speaking to the same person who used to work there and it really upsets me. I've changed so much since then. It just makes me feel glad I am not there riding out in that shadow of my former self anymore. Anyhow, you'll figure it out! Just search deep within yourself and do what feels right. All we can do is share our experience and hope some of it might be helpful for you too. Last thing, success comes to those who simply don't give up. Every time you fall, use it as a learning experience to move 2 more steps ahead. It sounds like that's what you are doing here back on the forum. You stated you can't do this job without Adderall. Maybe this "learning experience" has taught you to search an alternative for your quit. If that's what it takes...quitting your job to quit Adderall...then do it or keep searching for an alternative to make your quit successful. Just my humble opinion. YOU GOT THIS!
  22. Awesome! Good for you!! That's the spirit I'm talking about!
  23. I had to hit rock bottom. I was able to manipulate the first trip to the ER as "accidental" and just a bad break. I just couldn't seem to talk my way out of the second ER doctor's request/referral to the psych ward. Humiliation might've been my biggest motivator that along with the hospital bills.
  24. Shorti, I am going to pray for you. Please save yourself a life of misery and stop taking this drug immediately. Yes, it is going to be hard, but it will be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier if you stop taking it now and deal with the temporary pain vs. waiting 10 years down the road after it has sucked your life out from under you. It did the same exact thing to me. Once I got an actual prescription, it took root and my life was no longer "my life". I was a slave to it and nothing else or anyone else for that matter came before it. It cost me my ex-fiancé, my job, a wrecked car, 2 trips to the ER wrapped up in a near death experience. I'm telling you girl, it is NOT WORTH IT. I did coke and ex too. I used to do everything really. The more you take, the more you need, and the more dependent you become. There is never enough and you can either waste your whole life trying to chase that high or you can get clean now and RECOVER. I am so happy you posted and recognize this as a problem so early on. We will help you. Just stay the course with us and lean on the people here for support. Best wishes!
  25. Ok, one more thing..now it's my turn to vent my anxiety, LOL. I am signed up for a Half Ironman in 2 weeks. I have done bare minimal training. I signed up for this thing in the spring thinking the guy I was sort of seeing at the time would be doing it with me. Well, yeah, I didn't even like him that much anyhow and I'm glad it's over, but now I'm stuck doing this thing all by myself. It is now 2 weeks before the race and I only know a handful of people even doing it. My mom is not coming as she's going to fly out soon once I find out about the job and help me move...and I really don't have anyone here I feel comfortable asking to come support me. I could ask a few people, but I haven' talked to them in awhile and I feel like it would be asking too much. So anyhow, I am feeling very alone in this endeavor and thought maybe I could share it with all of you for support. PRAY FOR ME PLEASE! Ok, now off for my 12 mile run.
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