Zerokewl

thanks I better not fuck this up!

it is going well. Short commute, good hours, relaxed hours. It is the job i need now a good transition back to office life

friday at a new office job. in a office.

Oddly i'm proud of my failures now. Because they mean I tried, i'm pounding on my craft, my best is getting better. Rejection means you have to comeback. Fail! Give it everything you got! As long as you are moving forward, you are winning. Real highs real lows.

Couldn't agree more Occasional. I think we all have advantage of perspective on the topic. Being able to see our lives before/after adderall and the mess it made. Hindsight is 20/20 If I were to do college all over again, I would take fewer classes work more part-time and generally just take my time. I was in such a hurry to do this or that by the time I was 25 (ritalin was my poison in 90's). Especially since I was studying technology those abstract concepts can't be rushed. I really wish I spent more time just seriously dorking around in college and less time being so serious about everything. Career wise it just hasn't paid off in any significant way. I'm doing that now just dorking around going to interesting meetups, taking classes that interest me, working a dumb job part-time. Adderall got me fired, dumped and banished from certain social circles has afforded me some freedom. Cue the Bob Marley music. Adderall did feel like cheating at first untill the psychosis set in. I deeply regret a lot of the things I did on Adderall. Mostly just relationships I messed up because instead of going to a bday party I wanted to smoke cigarettes and tweak on some stupid project. Arggh! I was such a total loser on Adderall. I wish these articles made this point that Adderall use is usually abuse and there is an Ocean of pills out there.

Just like that. He learned to channel his anger into exercise and hardwork. Just like that he became a morning person and stopped blaming people for his problems.

I agree but what do you win? Grades? Who cares?

If I have children and teacher/doctor recommends some stimulant based approach. I'd punch em' in the face. I think my reaction would be the least absurd. Do the teachers and administrators think this is the best approach? The entire system can't be that fundamentally flawed. “I’m not smarter when I’m using these drugs,” Aiden said. “It simply allows me to focus in a system with such stress on excellence.” I'm beginning to understand the trend towards homeschooling etc. The competitive academic climate makes little sense. Like why pay to go to college so you can spend 4 years in the library shivering cold and under nourished fucked up on stims. Your supposed to develop your brain in college not destroy it. College cost lots of money and really doesn't guarantee anything.

screaming in a car on a desolate road.

Just like that he settled into a new routine and made new friends ending his isolation.

I'm starting a new job Wednesday. That isn't my chosen path, it's just ok paying sales type job. it's biggest advantages are that it is close to home, with very slack hours. It will allow me to work on some of my freelance projects and is probably a good stepping stone to being back to work eventually. I think you will find your true passion your real person. But it will probably show up when u least expect it. like stepping on a rake in a cartoon. it will smack you in the face!

He just decided to just learn from his past mistakes and move forward as the hero in his own comeback story. By doing his very best everyday he achieved more than he ever imagined and lived happily ever after with the knowledge that his best days were in actually ahead of him.

keep post here you are helping me right now. Junkies helping junkies is really all that I know works. Forums like these are life savers for so many. Help a noobie a week and by your 3 year aniversary you will have helped 50+ people. Right now its a game of inches and we can't see the whole mile. The depression is like quicksand, I know it too well. For me the depression seems milder or I am getting better at dealing with it. Tho I still get lost in it from time to time.

ADHD is a difference in cognitive ability not a disorder. The practice of prescribing amphetamines to treat it is just crazy making

Just like that. As quickly as the depression descended like a dark fog. The depression he had been lost in for so long just lifted just like that and it was a nice day so he made some tea. The depression never returned and this man lived his life to his fullest never to return to that deep dark place ever again. Just like that.

welcome. Take some time and read the articles on this site. The 1st few months can be a bit rocky so be prepared.Good Luck and Welcome!!

clean the house

Mike, myslef and Quitonce worked together on a major spam infestation around Christmas. He posts once and while but remains largely behind the scenes.

if you have been selling Adderall I would avoid mentioning that. I would keep the appointment but be cautious of what the doctors intentions are. I don't know what the laws are in your area. Just be careful! I think you understand you need to get off Adderall and maybe this is the wake up call you need. Admitting to your doctor you have an addiction issue should be something you can do without fear of legal consequence. This meeting should be about your health. Sign nothing, be careful.

I am more patient with myself and others. I am careful where and with who I invest my ambition and energy. I struggle with depression. In that place I've found peace with God and learned to live in my own head. A bad day when I'm feeling really crazy can be solved on a tread mill or doing some stairs. The depression is what I still struggle with now maybe more so today. My new normal is all a bout routine and self care. Quitting smoking had a massive positive impact on the level of my depression. Even on my worst days I am really just a 5 /10 and I have many many good days. My good days are not the manically amazing days where I was super happy which always followed with a mega crash. Things sustain. Depression was a factor when I was younger before adderall, ritalin and concerta. I still have a lot to work on but It is so much better than the first year. I've managed to break some of the isolation and I am out of bed and in the world, I even went on a date. I'm really trying now to visualize what I want in life, business and love. I still feel wobbly, awkward and it takes me a long time to complete things. But I am completing projects, complex projects that require all of me and then some. I listen to a lot of self help materials motivational speakers mostly. Just stuff I find on you-tube. This CBT helps and I think it will have an enormous impact long term.

new job/ no cigarettes for 6 months.

made this a game that simulates poverty. Featuresd include a custom CMS, mobile version, the questions in the game are randomized so every-time you play you get a different experience. This is a lot of custom code I worked with a designer, sales guy and another programmer on it. This game was a big accomplishment which I did not take Adderall, Concerta or smoke cigarettes at any stage of the project. I was pretty wrecked after finishing this project due to stress and I let self care go out the window. Overall the project was well received by the clients.

Sauce