Zerokewl

meh

0.00

welcome to the board! Thanks for your wonderful poem. I look forward to more.

Jay, My heart goes out to you. I know that feeling trapped in a high pressure job and trying to find some balance. I've been very blessed with time off work. I was fired because I lost a 3mill acct, alot had to do with to many late nights, not eating and riding the adderall rollercoaster. If you are going to use be careful to not abuse and mind your sleep and nutrition. Don't give up the struggle.

I watched the first part of this.I thought it was interesting that the recovery movement only started in 1935 with AA. Groups like ours are offshoots of the simple idea that an addict gets better helping other addicts get better. While we are not affiliated with any of these groups officially I believe we share some of these fundamentals. I'm deeply proud of this group and I know by helping others I am helping myself. And when others help me I help them.

Shabba -

I'd like to read the books one day. I've been listening to the history of Game of Thrones as told by the actors in the series. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMspS6HhEIE

Congrats on calling your doctor and cutting off your supply. This a major step it means your serious. Welcome to board we are all here because in various stages of recovery from this horrible drug. Take some time and read the articles on this site and review some old forum posts. In the next few months you will go through a process of recalibrating your brain chemistry. Maybe hit the gym as often as you can during this period.

I find Game of Thrones is so dense. If you watch from the beginning again you catch all sorts of subtle themes you didn't notice. It really is the best damn thing on TV since the Wire.

Just wanted to say I thought about your post all weekend. I know how you feel the blah's not happy not sad just blah. I feel this way a lot. Its the inability to feel joy and drudgery of everyday life. I used to be excited about stuff. For me I get flashes of joy here and there and I think oh maybe things are getting better. Its a weird feeling. I don't have any advice other than keep on trucking.

Welcome back Amy!

Game of Thrones, Mad Men, Silicon Valley. Sunday TV is the best

welcome back Jay.

I hope you find some peace this Easter weekend.

Before adderall I took concerta. I never abused concerta until I took adderall. Concerta is a less intense amphetamine however I was deeply dependant on the concerta. I can remember on days I forgot to take it returning home to get them. When I started taking adderall, that was when I really spiralled into crazy abuse and began crushing the Concerta pills to get high. I would use the concerta and the adderall at the same time somedays. I've been off both for close to 11 months and I still struggle with the depression and occasional anxiety. I started seeing a therapist about two weeks ago and that seems to help. I still sleep quite a lot and struggle with getting shit done. However I'm starting to see improvements and feel some peace in my life. The adderall mentality is the hardest to get over. The therapist is helping me with some of my stinking thinking. Alot of my issues with depression existed before and I think I used adderall to deal with them. I don't really have much in the way of advice. I would avoid concerta and throw out your expired pills. I've thought about going on Concerta again myself to help with work and stuff. But once I cross that line I imagine its a matter of time before I'm back on Adderall too. I think the withdrwal off Concerta is similar to Adderall. Though I quit both at about the same time when I would run out of Concerta I remember having similar symptoms. Have a great Easter.

somethin about easter weekend ... also Game of thrones!

Congrats on 3 months. The first 3 months are probably the worst. A milestone for sure.

strange days - horrific mass murder in my city has everybody saying wtf.http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/calgary-stabbing-victims-families-and-friends-shattered-1.2612157

satisfaction

flash... got a contract using flash. Dusting off some old school skills kinda fun.

spring clean - need to do some serious housework.

Early on I learned how to half ass things. You know just get it done and don't worry about it being perfect. Its a valuable skill in recovery. You can always edit and rewrite later.