Frank B

The only place I can be real is on here. I sort of dug myself that hole by using Fb sort as a means to draw in more customers. Now I must see daily post by ignorant fake fucking friends everyday. Slowly I'm pretty much unfollowing everybody because the crap is just too much to take in. This country is going to shit real fast but all I see is guns are great , Jesus loves Americans and guns , let's build a wall , fuck everyone outside the good old USA! Everyone so proud to be in America but can u recall a full month when flags were at full staff ? No every other week some fucking tragedy some idiot with a gun shoots innocent people for no reason. These fucking politicians want us at each others throats blaming this group or that group meanwhile they fuck us up the ass with bills that only benefit large corporate fat cats. I've seriously considered moving to fucking Canada at this point. People say we are the best country on earth not sure if they beleive like freedom is only in the USA but it's not. Let's also not forget we have more people locked up then any other nation and it does nothing to lower the crime rate. So since I can't really speak my mind on Fb did it on here some may not agree but least I don't need to worry about it affecting my business.

I used adderall abusively for 9 years I still have all my teeth no scabs and never stole a damn thing to support my habit. I would never say adderal is a good drug for anybody however meth is a different monster.

Yes u might be tired all the time some days I'm fine other a lazy ass. It depends what I'm doing if I'm out on a job I focus work hard fix the problem at hand make customers happy and my wallet. "I'm lucky to love what I do for a living" the part I don't like is the office work that's when I miss having adderall to make boring tasks interesting. Instead of focusing on those task I'll drift towards the TV set I'm at least a month behind my office crap but luckily I at least have money in the bank to pay bills thanks to a warm summer. ( Im a Hvac contractor.) Tideshark I wish you the best of luck and yes this sucks but u like everyone else who forced themselves to stop know living on addy is no option anymore. Plus the older I got the more I felt pushing my body no doubt I would die young. I was on the same dosage as yourself for around 9 years.

If you quit smoking and never started again while on adderall you have a very powerful will power. I have not smoked for two years but I still puff on my vapor stick like a fog machine at a haunted house. Well what to expect varies I think it depends on how long you used and dosage. Did you ever abuse your prescription going on all night binges of getting tons of stuff done? One thing I did not expect was the crazy anxiety that hit me very hard around my 5th of 6th month I never really had it much on addy. Type more but gotta get off here.

I feel like the sooner forget I was on this stuff the quicker I will recover. But no matter how much I try to fool myself the reality that I'm still struggling to do all I should makes me upset and feel like I'm letting people down. It's somewhat good to realize even though I have a lot of time under my belt from quitting the best is still possibly yet to come. It's just hard to imagine just seems like by now I'd be over the laziness but I'll say I'm maybe 50% energy wise of where I think I should be if at 10 months I'm 75% I'll be happy. The anxiety is getting better beyond the everyday life anxiety which is normal I feel much better in that regard. Lost my dog yesterday he escaped from my house when a door was left open he was freaked out over fireworks. He is old and has a limp I don't know if he will come back I know some injured animals run away to die when they are old and injured think that might be the case here. Searched all over today called the animal shelter no luck :-(

She believes that no way a pill can influence someone to commit horrific crimes. I think that's just denial to ease any guilt when that happens or a patient takes his or hers own life while on these pills prescribed by her. The drug companies have good lawyers to persuade the public opinion that these people were already depressed so they have no liability. It's really sick what they do in any trials against them.

I got in a good argument on Facebook in regards to SSRI's with a RN friend. It's fascinating how people who prescribe these drugs perceive the patient as having a "mental illness" and the risk is worth the award. First of all its not fair to say "mental illness" if your 100% happy and have no anxiety in this world your the one with mental illness. We are flying in outer space around a flaming ball people we all love eventually die everywhere is cancer or some other horrible illness nobody really knows for sure when we die what happens , so to the people who have little to no worries your the one who is mentally ill. I read a few books about SSRI's after I suffered horrible side effects and it's really scary how far that rabbit hole goes it's very interesting and disturbing how such a pill stay FDA approved. UK has placed a ban for children and teenagers sure more bans will follow. The sad part for those hooked in this deadly poison it's hard to come off. To me it makes adderall look safe now that's scary. Anyways Bluemoon feel free to complain all you want nobody thinks any less of you that's what this site is for!

I highly suggest staying away from any SSRIs they are dangerous they account for countless suicides and murders. Just take a look at the daily news fathers, mothers oamd teenagers killing family members and themselves. I'd gather to say 95% of those stories are linked to this drug. Sad thing is the news portrays these people as "having mental illness and were under treatment for depression." The truth is that fucking pill caused them to snap and would have been better off not seeking treatment. Sooner or later society will wake the fuck up and ban these drugs but the companies that make them have deep pockets control most of the media and defiantly buy the powers that be with huge campaign funding. Both Prozac and Zoloft had horrible side effects with me I even had a sensation of wanting to stab myself in part because these drugs high jack your central nervous system and can make you feel uncomfortable in your own body. No antidepressants have been proven to work placebo pills are 35% more likely to help with depression. The only pills that made me happy we're adderall and oxycodone why it was so hard to give up. Like you I felt the same way my entire life semi depressed not enthused about much and exactly why I sought out adderall. I think we both need to learn pills aren't the answer we may never be like a "normal" person but people with phyiscal or emotional handicaps can live a productive happy life it just takes more effort.

I feel like a piece of shit yes I can work but my ambition is to work and do the bare minimum in my off time which I should have more plans with my kids, friends family but I still don't want to do much but take it easy. It's not like I'm doing less with them then I was on adderal but I feel like I should be doing more. Also still stuck in a relationship I know I need to get out of sounds like your doing everything I should be doing. I guess 7 months is still somewhat new to being clean but I expect a lot of myself get angry when I don't achieve those things.

What kind of help on here are you looking to find on here? I think anyone who reads this is going to tell you what u already know. You need help your usage is defiantly out of control its going to be hard to do it yourself. If you can't do a inpatient program find NA support groups in your area attend those everyday that would be a start.

Been working a lot and my line of work is pretty demanding at times especially in the heat . It was so much easier to do on addy and painkillers. But I got a major big paying job done and customers are happy. A couple months ago don't think I could have done it. Going to bed now calls already booked for tomorrow ready for the weekend

I have been thinking about buying a new house. But the thought of everything involved is to overwhelming right now. I guess big trips and major life changes like moving should be tackled when we know it's not too much to handle. Not sure on that timeline exactly but assuming after a year maybe hopefully.

I've been addicted to adderall and painkillers for years before finally quitting. It's been the hardest thing by far in my life to stop. If your wife doesn't have the desire to do it she won't. I'd suggest doing what's best for yourself and children. I'd suggest rehab program for her if she won't then do what you got to do.

Not sure if u followed my posts on this same issue we are both going through the same thing it seems. Staying busy has been a plus so don't have time to worry plus making money which helps reduce some of my stress related worries. Maybe check out my posts my anxiety may have peaked a little earlier then you but things seem to be getting better slowly like everything else on this pain in the ass recovery.

I have done some computer work nothing spectacular but on adderal I felt fixing and rebuilding old obsolete control boards for pinball games/arcade games from the 80's facinating or building a web site from scratch etc fun. I even went to the library and wanted to self teach myself how to build binary codes but even on adderal that bored me lol. Off adderal I have no urge to do but minimal work when it comes to computer technology. Computer techonolgy in general just seems to screams to me 'take adderall' due to hours of tedious mind numbing work. Have you possibly thought about taking up a new trade something you can do without needing that sharp long focused edge adderal provides? Just FYI those A's you got in college was not all adderall give yourself more credit. Adderall makes you more focused but does not by itself make you smarter. I know if your degree is computer science it would be hard to give up on it but maybe you could switch to sales in your trade or find one aspect of the trade you can do off adderal. Good luck!

I maybe need how to love myself and life first I guess. My focus off adderal again has swung back to work work mentality but part of that is being in the hole finically and making up for all those weeks doing nothing first coming off adderall. I'm not staying up all night working on meaningless self glorfied projects but I'am busting ass during the day doing what makes me money and happy helping others in my job. As for the weekends I just don't wanna do much hope that changes. I look back at that adderall person working like a mad scientist for countless hours in my garage like a totally different person almost a monster. Part of me is jealous of that guy and all he could do another part thinks what a fucking idiot wasting away his life to prove he can do this or that. Each day away from my quit date I know that I'm growing stronger and now I start to feel again everything I do was for a reason good or bad and my self destiny was never to fail in life. If it was I would not have motivated myself to stop that drug induced wild roller coaster ride.

Thanks for the reply I still have sex and all but no love or caring about her but don't know if I would anyone at this point. Defiantly damped my appetite could care less if I do or don't most of the time. Which with her isn't a bad thing she has nothing to offer me I can't live without.

Just curious I'm not sure if it's because I've been in a horrible relationship or years of adderal but I really have no desire for love or lust in a relationship. I love my children and family of course but you know that feeling like you first meet someone you really like and fall in love? I forgot what that is like and think if I met the person I would fall in love with pre adderal I would not know it. I'll be honest I'm still sort of in a "relationship" but it's only because we have a child together this woman has stole from me lied so many times never cheated that i know about probbably has lol. I can't tell even if she was out of my life if the ability to fall in love is a possibility because of this drug side effects. I know she needs to go the situation is not that easy kick her out she gets a crap section 8 apartment puts my child in danger or put up with her staying here that's how bad my life is that's why I struggled with taking adderal and pain killers. I'm strong enough now not to ignore the problem with drugs looking for answers beleive me.

Sucks I'd find a new mechanic.

A Honda engine seized? How's that happen you sure about that? Far as your ability to move on past all that is great but Honda engines are damn near bullet proof. I just sold my Honda CBR 600RR to pay some bills feel your pain.

I abused the hell out of it never had those extreme symptoms you described.

Sounds like you should maybe just not do it. If you want a recreational high smoke pot do not use adderall.

Just wanted to share something that has helped me out. I believe a healthy diet and working out is a important role in recovery. However I also feel I was really really stressing myself out trying to stay on a very strict low carb diet. I would go without eating meals because I didn't really have that option then I would work and my job a lot of times is very physical and I would just be so fatigued because I opted out of a meal because no low carb option was available. This week I said enough of that and felt much better. I still stay away from sugary drinks but not going to pass up a meal in the day anymore because bread is with it. I deserve to enjoy life I'm not training to be a Olympic athlete so I choose to go easy on myself I'm defiantly not overweight anyways. Just read on here how carbs are the things that steal away your energy I do not think that is 100% true.

My communication skills and ability to work problems out with people were horrible. My technical skills ability to focus on very tedious task and problem solving was on a level I know that I really can't achieve off adderal. However that mental edge did little to help me make a better living it was used more on side projects as something to brag about "look what I accomplished". Now I will say if I work 8 hrs and know I have a few more jobs to finish I sometimes think "Boy on adderal I would not be so physically drained." But I know that I can do it off adderall I just need to break and get a little food to continue on.

Thanks for the encouragement been a long week so far but works going good. I wish that looking forward to enjoying my down time but at home I still would rather lay around watch baseball games vs actually doing activities hopefully that will change.