Frank B

Before adderal did you have these same issues? Just seems like maybe adderal masked those problems and now they are still present years after stopping which would make sense. Also not sure why you had skin breaks out from adderal and now is still scarring did you see a dermatologist to confirm this was from adderall use? Where are you hanging out where people openly talk about daily adderal and benzo use? Maybe you should not hang out with those people. Hell I did adderall for 9 years and my own mother never knew I was ashamed to be honest. I hope things get better and these questions did not offend you.

I'm not sure why some people depressed can't eat much others eat a lot guess should feel lucky but it feels good to look forward to something. No unfortantly my dog never returned thanks for asking though.

"You know, what you're doing to your body and mind by taking these high doses of Adderall will eventually come back to haunt you and will make your life hell down the road" I knew one morning doing aome project at 5 am I was popping another 30 mg pill before the sun came up and guzzling it down with liquid Oxcodine I got from somewhere "I have a real problem I'd say at this point and this will be fucking hell when I stop it all together." I was right but that's what I get should have listened to Nacy Regan when I was a kid.

For the first time in years felt actually hungry today and yesterday. Of course over the last several months off adderal I've ate more and gained some weight since I quit. But yesterday was the first time I really was hungry and looking foward to a big meal. I take that as a sign the overall depression from stopping this drug is getting better. Anyways hope it continues thought I'd share.

Pot just puts me to sleep probbably why I always preferred uppers.

The drugs these soldiers with PTSD mostly a form of SSRI's look at the damn suicide rate of these vets and or murder/suicides. If you don't see a direct link to the SSRI's and these statistics your blind. Sorry it's horrible shit more people need to be aware.

I haven't really looked but seen a few random site posts about people trying to stop SSRI's but in my opinion it is the most dangerous prescribed medication, I doubt the adderal manufactures will go after this site but bet your ass if you create a quitting SSRI site you'll be in liabilty court very fast saying your causing people to hurt themselves by quitting . The drug manufactures are very protective in terms of covering up the dangers of them and very new drug on the market vs the long history of people using amphetamines, hell Hitler and his entire army took them we are in great company lol, US soldiers took bennies so don't feel to bad . You won't find people abbusing SSRi's for a high. But instead you find a long list of dead bodies from suicides and or murder/suicides directly linked to this very dangerous mind altering drug. Do some research on your own it's scary shit what you'll find. It is truely the big elephant in the room that society has marked as a "taboo" subject mainly because as a society we trust doctors and they would never give us something that has a record of not working and gives already depressed people a very high increase of suicidal tendencies. Doctors say it's worth the risk for very sick depressed people. Really? Because every other person is worth the risk then they hand it out like candy. If you've never taken a SSRI here is what it feels like "for me". Imagine taking 90 mg of adderal and 5 benadryls, u feel high like on addy but also feel like u can't move your ultra paranoid , also think of finger nails scrapping down a chalk board but inside your central nervous system. Also imagine sort of like adderal no emotion but amplified x10 and u also think everyone is talking about you. That is the nightmare I personally had on Prozac and Zoloft worst experience of my life. I had bad acid trips in high school that felt better. My experience is not that rare I found this on numerous random site posts and books at the library . I really wish this could be brought to life I try myself on Facebook but nobody seems to want to look at the facts. UK even placed a ban on them for children years ago but for the most part nobody has dived into the dangers and more bans. http://www.naturalnews.com/039752_mass_shootings_psychiatric_drugs_antidepressants.html

I'm sure it does but also seems like the worlds gone crazy so something is changing people in food we consume etc. Unless you live on a island with land untouched by modern man eat all organic food and undisturbed water its hard to really say what life is like toxin free. Just turn on the news something is wrong with us all not just the recovering addicts.

Duffman sounds very encouraging your doing great. Does clinical rotation involve 8-12hr shifts rotating days and night week to week? If so I'm sure that is intimidating but maybe that's wrong on that just assuming.

Noticed more people chiming in lately glad more people are getting involved on here this helps us all!

Thanks for all the encouragement. Hopper15 the things I could do with virtually no sleep on heavy doses of addy still amaze the hell out of me that's why it's frustrating I can't get myself to complete or "start" simple tasks at home off addy with plenty of sleep.

The further I get into recovery the more postive I try to stay on here. I know how crippling it was for me to see people months ahead of me still struggle severely. Lately I've been very disappointed in myself mostly on my time away from work. I've spent past several weekends sleeping in until 10-11am not doing much at all after up finally get up. I think of all the things I would be doing when I was adderal and it was working good for me. I realize that it did fail to work pretty much the last couple months before I stopped and know if I ever gave in that the golden years I had on this drug will never happen again if it did would be very short lived. I know getting angry with myself over lack of motivation is pointless so instead trying to tell myself this will pass and all these extra hours of rest is my body recouping from the years of bad diets and lack of good rest. Hope I'm right because yes I can get by how I'am now but this is not who I care to be in the long run I want to take care of things I own carry out promises to my kids to build a playground want to be active with them on the weekend not a fucking couch potato!

Danquit your Tesla theory was not far off he was also bay shit crazy and a genius. He claimed aliens talked to him given his resume of inventions it might be true he is the reason we have cell phones etc today. Anyways my madness was mostly completing restoration projects that should take year or two in a 2 month span. I went off on my family many times with total lack of self control. This weekend I've done hardly anything wonder if the trade off was worth it I know that answer but get fed up with myself not having much motivation

It's weird I never had much anxiety but maybe two months ago it hit me like a freight train. Its gotten better still get overwhelmed but its all situational not fiction made up in my mind. I can fix those problems that are real and sometimes I can't they run me over but it is what it is. The false anxiety I believe was solely from this drugs side effect that's the stress I won't let myself tolerate anymore it's nonsense. I looked towards SSRI's at first omg that shit made me realize how much stress I did not have just plain horrible and I feel for anyone who suffers that way if it's possible off that drug but I was just out of my mind for days on it . Thank god I stopped only after two weeks from taking it.

Funny I did some remodeling myself. I do have to thank addy for giving me basically a new house totally all remodeled on addy lol. But I went overboard and all the stuff I did priced my house way out of market value for the area I live in. What's worse I bought a foreclosed house up the street remodeled it to perfection sold it before the big house boom maybe made couple a grand. But all my labor it's time lost beyond calculations would have made way more money focusing on my Hvac but I got to a point I hated working with people had no patience rather have jobs where I'm on my own . You know I don't look at all the time on addy like it was all a big waste and regret but defiantly knew for me it was time to stop and will never be a option again. Quitting has been by far the hardest thing to do in my life. Just know your new obsession in life and goal is to never go back to those pills if u do they won.

That's cool never did amps but always thought about doing it. My obsession was pinball games now have a basement full and wonder how the fuck did I do all this in 3-4 years? I have like 18 games earliest goes back to 1950 restored all of them top to bottom cleaning stacks upon stacks of contact switches for days and that was fun strung out on addy. It was all about accomplishing something not many can do then show it off buy another start over. No rationalization of hey I should maybe back of this hobby find paying jobs spending more time with family that was never in my mind. Actually that's a lie I did always have that voice in back of my head saying "this is not normal what the hell are you doing? " Then thought hey maybe I could make money off this but reality is very few can and my regular job pays better a lot easier "most often" and usually in high demand. I guess if I was not self employeed getting out of control would have not been so easy but when you think "hell I stay up all night blow off any real work tomorrow to get this project complete" but one night turns into two days then I'm ready to crash for a day. So three days I should be working making money was spent trying to complete something that could wait. That's what adderall does it makes you a obsessed perfectionist trying to complete a certain task and nothing else in life matters.

Side note I saw Jake Arrieta (Cubs pitcher) have a shirt on that says "All me PED free" thinking I'd like a shirt that says "All me adderall free"

William yes it will come just stick with it! Doge thanks for enjoying my unfiltered thoughts nice to have a place to let it all go. So tonight for the first time tackling a daunting task put out of the way for months. In a place I used to call home for countless hours working like a mad scientist for sleepless nights. Cleaning up and trying to semi organizing my garage where mounds of capacitors, diodes, and resistors rest. Looking at my desk where I broke my adderall pills in half all night along with my oxy for those work binges is scary. It's surreal looking at the past where I was so obsessed with electronics, addy , pain pills and alcohol odd combo I know. It's amazing I never overdosed it's a miracle I'm alive and a blessing that I have overcame my demons and a pill that consumed my every move. It's been hard but well worth it I'm slowly able to do things I use to do overkill while on those drugs. Now any little side project is at my pace and by no means any sort of priority.

Like any drug some side effects are different for each individual hopefully your hair grows back to normal.

Today was odd almost felt like I was happy and not really tired all day. These days will come and go I understand but haven't felt like this in a long time!

Had a pretty good day ive sort of keep telling myself lately "fuck stress" worrying about shit does nothing at all if something bad happens it fucking happens 100 years after I'm gone does that shit matter? Anyways part of less stress is I just had one of my most profitable months in years if I think back to life on adderal I almost got pissed when I got a lot of calls had too many "important obsessive projects" to work on at home needed at least a day or two off to complete them during the week! Please see this as motivation although I'm still sort of blind from how much better things have gotten numbers don't lie in profit and loss chart. Sure things at home have been put off but if I keep making good money like I have then I'll just hire the help vs doing every damn thing myself. Soon as get my finances back in shape I will higher a house cleaning service for sure since I run a business from home I can write it off lol.

Not sure never had loss of hair possibly your just naturally thinning? Also had no skin issues maybe a heat rash once in awhile if I was really tweaked out and dehydrated that's about it.

Like I said mostly used it as a social networking for my buisness which is free advertising. Just keep seeing such ignorant blind views it's hard to hold my tongue. But when most of these people are clients hard to tell them off. I just did a huge unfollow sweep of all those who post the most ignorant shit. They can get a hold of me if needed but will not see the stupid posts anymore. Guess I'm a little high strung you should have seen me on adderall boy I could really get worked up then!

I've looked into Provigil in the past read it can help not feeling sleepy but in return anxiety can go way up. It's looks to be a stimulant if it's anything like a SSRI it will feel horrible yes you need less sleep feel more awake but most of the time your awake the anxiety is so bad you'll wish u could go to sleep. Then good old doctor will give u some Xanax like they do must everyone on antidepressants then full blown addiction to prescription drugs to feel "normal" is back in your life.