Frank B

Wow that's awesome I hope you can help give some good insights with your experience and background. What has been the one key to your long term success? Recently Ive been having more issues that I thought at this point would be resolved I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Nice to have you on board. So what's your story how much how long etc?

My ego was larger than life on addy now I feel like a nobody. I used to feel I could always make money as needed now I feel like a loser who is going broke. Been really depressed last couple days and so unsure of what I should do. To all the rich celebs crying about addiction how hard it is Fuck You! I can tell you this for sure if money was not a issue at all kicking this addiction and oxy would be 100 x easier! Lack of money for you and your family causes so much stress!

I continue to dream almost every night about taking Oxycontin pills but not adderall. I guess the pain pills overall have more of a stronghold on my subconscious.

Days just seem to fly by now unlike when I first stopped and I keep looking back on the day like wtf did I do nothing! I guess the fact Im on my computer tonight doing invoices and skipping back to this site is a sign of progress where couple months ago doing office work at night would not be happening.

Just curious at two years are you still tired most of the day? I have been eating right getting plenty of sleep exercising every other day or doing physical work but yet I still feel like I drag ass most of the day. I'm limiting my caffeine even stopped it all together for month but stopping wasn't the magic cure I was hoping for. I really need to step things up and I'm doing everything I think is necessary to achieve a day of full productivity. I simply cannot go on like this for two years straight I have a house payment bills and kids. I keep trying to force myself but so hard to stay focused on tasks I do not enjoy doing. I know going back to this shit is not the answer but living like this the rest of my life simply wont happen I cant allow it.

Man that has to be expensive at least you never got your own script though. I hear u I started taking them on big jobs days I knew would be really physical but year later had to take it just to get out of bed. Glad you found the site welcome to hell on earth. Just kidding sort of but at least you have people to suffer along with u on here and give u some hope.

Good posts and sometimes feel this low ambition etc is a self made illusion made up in my mind. I think the hardest part for us who have years of abuse is remembering what being normal was. I don't have a mindset that one day magically It will all be better but the process is so slow I think that I look past what has been accomplished and still want more and want it soon. The only thing that's holding me back is myself why can't I kick my own ass ? Do I need a drill sergeant or boss in my face to get back to where I should be? I never used to need one before addy but I forgot how to force myself to do what I should because on adderall I had to force myself to take a break and enjoy life. I can enjoy life again but I need to work harder or I won't be enjoying much of anything without a good income I know this yet I'm procrastinating all the time it pisses me off.

I think it's time to find some new "buddies" u can't put yourself in those situations espically if your drinking.

Well you tried and if you felt no progress 1 year 2 months guess you weren't going to get any better. Just curious how do u know if you never had motivation if u started at such a young age? I think you never got a chance to learn self motivation and I'd blame your parents for stealing that from you by making you get on this crap. Take note parents on here thinking about giving your children this shit you fuck them up for life!

Man your post probably not intended but really made me realize why I fought so hard to be self employed run my own business. I've taken it all for granted and off addy seems it's so much harder to do successfully. I've often thought lately about calling it quits not having to deal with so many things if I just go to work for someone. But then again I have freedom now and no one telling me what to do or how many hours to work. I just hope I can kick my own ass into gear before I give in and be unhappy working my life away for someone else.

Defiantly get rid of that 90% of successful people use addy that's not true. Even if it was we had are time on it and that time has passed no one stays on that shit forever it stops working plain and simple. Add a new thought to your mind 90% of successful people exercise, sleep and eat healthy and also most successful people believe in a higher power. Every strike out ,home run or game winning three God always seems to get credit.

Wonder how many pro golfers take adderall would seem like a a ideal drug for that sport do they even have PED testing in golf? I know a lot of MLB players take it and if they have a doctors note it's ok but it shouldn't be allowed at all. I know what it takes to get a doctors excuse pretty damn simple.

"I think adderall ultimately holds us back from our real destiny because it makes you content with $hit that you don't really enjoy." I don't think that always applies. I used to really enjoy meticulously restoring vintage pinball Aracade games on addy now I don't at all but wish I still enjoyed doing them but now I look at all of them like how did I do all that? I also like what I do for a living but can get bored with it but I get bored with everything in life not on addy and pain pills can just be boring. I think on addy you forget your working to make money so before I took addy I enjoyed what I was doing but more so for the end result of a nice pay day also . On addy I was obbsed being a perfectionist and not as worried about the end goal of money it just kind of came with it. Now I must refocus on working hard not to be a perfectionist but to dona good job and make that good money. Does this make any sense? Prob not o well I try.

Wasn't that on True Blood reading people's thoughts. If you can read people's thoughts you could get major pay working for the CIA. I've been parnoid really strung out on addy but stopped soon as a came down. The only other time I felt really out of my mind was on Prozac and Zoloft if your taking any SSRI that might be playing a role. Hope you can get the help you deserve.

I know this may belong on off topic but the lyrics really hit home to my adderal use and how I still kind of feel months off it.Usually listen to heavy rock working out and heard this not my favorite band or anything.

We should all start a class action lawsuits against these pill makers espically those of you forced to take it as a child it's a crime! I understand how u feel but it's never going to get easier. I have a house two kids plus 2 other step kids living with me a business private schools to pay for etc. I have sat on my ass more days in the last 10 months then I had the last ten years. I desperately feel I'm letting myself down and 4 other people living under a roof I pay for by myself. The idea of giving in going the route u describe happens a lot but I've gone this far and made it somehow I can't give up now! If you give in now once your out of school don't think it will be easier it won't at all and u know deep down 20mg won't do crap but make u want more. U can't live your entire life on it so don't and u know that.

"I think my moods are starting to even out thankfully. It's hard to say what's what though. I have been on Zoloft at different doses for half my life now. I was on a very small dose when I quit adderall and I did decide to go up on the dose for a while. I'm back down again. I don't know what to do about the zoloft. I have a real love/hate relationship with it. I hate taking any medication unless absolutely necessary and would like to someday get to a point where I can wean off of that too, but extremely slowly. At least I don't have a crazy addictive relationship with the zoloft, so in that regard it's less complicated." The addictive relationship on zoloft is a totally different animal vs adderall. It might not seem as bad because its not something you can really abuse but your body is no doubt addicted to it for everyday function. Im of course by no means a professional in the medical field but seems many who are take less caution handing out pills like candy. It would probably be best to focus on the adderall then maybe a year or two off that start the journey of stopping Zoloft. Go to the library you can find a lot of information about stopping Zoloft in fact saw a book called "Quitting Zoloft" wouldn't hurt to start studying up before you actually do it.The more information you have and knowing what side effects occur the better.

I think dadof3finallyfree has some really good advice. The important thing is "kill them with kindness." Do not be bitter mad or upset he won't stop for you. Don't take it personally like he is choosing the drugs over you. He is choosing adderall over everything including a life of joy for himself. That's his problem and it may take years for him to see the light. Life is short no guarantee of tommrow find your own happiness now. I know it's much easier said then done but if your not married and have no children it's good to leave now with no strings attached.

Congrats the taper down method worked for me. Long as you have displine,goals and a true cut off date of your final day nothing wrong at all going that route.

Rehab is expensive and if you have no job guessing u have no insurance or ability to pay out of pocket. You need to stop the drug obviously but need help. I would strongly suggest finding a local NA group and going as often as possible also AA groups help. It's vital you interact with people and you will feel comfortable at these meetings takes a couple times but it will feel like family after awhile. No excuse not to go they are free go look NA up online now find a meeting and go tonight or tommrow good luck.

Before you pick up that prescription better think long and hard about doing it. Maybe college isn't your thing I think it's bs anyways people spend years go in huge depts then can't find a job. What about trying out a trade school or just stopping school for awhile to go work somewhere. It sounds like you need it because you really hate what your doing which if I was taking college courses I can't say I'd be any different.

Good job i feel your pain but that was a big step and one you won't regret. I wish we could all take a magic pill to make this shit easier and faster but truth is we were on magic pills for years and now we gotta face life without them and it absolutely sucks!! But we do get our soul back in return so something worth fighting for.

That clinic sounds pretty shady and illegal but people find loopholes. To be honest I think the government wants us to be a bunch of adderall zombies who love to work our life away and question very little. It makes us perfect mindless puppets to let the powers that be screw us over. I'm sure at some point he will want to quit because the truth is it stops working no matter how much u take it just might be years down the road for him.

I was gonna say wow didn't know one could be in that anount legally. I was on 60mg a day for years but like him often used more. Even though it's not 180mg over time it will take a toll on his heart one other reason why I stopped when I started was in my late twentys and hurting my body long term was nothing considered but now I'm 37 know 40 is coming and body can't keep up the abuse. I hope you can get yourself free of this lifestyle if he can't truth is if he is not ready to give it up he probably won't.