Frank B

You seem very smart but don't let "it's only mental thing" fool you it's still hard as fuck the physical withdraw is short but mentally even for me a year out and it's a constant struggle just to put it in the past and I try everything to move forward working out eating right but it still lingers on not to say I crave a pill but everything I do in my life that is half ass I think man on addy I'd get this shit done and to perfection. Far as rehab I know what you mean I don't believe in all that NA says in fact sometimes I feel the group is like Scientology giving up yourself to conform to a certain lifestyle they promote which is the only way to be successful in life. I still go to meetings once in awhile it's a great place to clear your head. But I don't have a sponsor never cared to do the 12 steps I'm sober from addy and other hard prescription pills because I'm fucking stubborn I told myself I'm done and that's how it is I have control over my own actions and who I hang out with. If any of your friends do addy or any other drug "besides just pot I do not consider that worse then alcohol" they will need to be part of your past. It sounds u got a way with the ladies you keep up your pace of doing this shit hard your junk won't be able to get hard so won't have much to offer them just a little extra motivation to stop asap. Quit saying one more time and say it's over now! Toss those pills away time to start a new chapter of your life what's done is done you are in control not those fucking pills.

Rock chalk! I hope u can somehow graduate med school without it we need more people in the field that won't hand out pills like candy for a quick fix. I think you know better then most of us the damages this medication does and if you read a few stories u learn quitting is a long journey. Feel though you've only been on it a year and a few months your way better off quitting before 1 year turns into 4 years or 10 years like myself it just gets harder to recover longer your brain gets exposure to adderall.

So how long have you been on adderall now ? If it's been 1-2 years your in good shape recovery should be a lot faster it won't be easy don't get me wrong. I've never had mono but does not look fun at all does adderall actually combat the mono? How were you diagnosed with mono doctor or yourself? You are not a fuck up your addicted to a powerful stimulant and trying to break free it's freaking hard. Blame the government for allowing this to be legal while people suffering from cancer in most states still can't get medical marijuana which is not addictive. It's a fucking game we are all victims of big Pharma and it's money making machine of getting people addictied to very powerful drugs that are very hard to quit.

I agree in some respects we put to much on time with recovery. But then again think for people who just quit the ticker is good inspiration to keep going and small way to celebrate the time off this drug. I'd personally like to see it back if possible.

Just noticed the new format deleted everyone's timeline ticker.

Think that's a good idea to make a video on this subject however most people on here like myself for many reasons choose to stay anonymous.

Congrats sounds like you'll have a great New Year!

After around 8 years I believe our brains fight back the stimulants simply do not work and we must abuse this drug to feel the same effects. So no I do not think you can go back to a normal "therapeutic" use. But if you have turned the corner understand you don't wish to be a slave to amphetamines the rest of your life but don't want to do the cold turkey yes with displine u can start taking your normal dose then every week or every other gradually step down the amount successfully. I tried quitting both ways but the step down for me was better for me mainly because I was completely honest with my doctor but when I did the cold turkey about a year prior I was aftraid to tell him encase I gave in which I did after about two months. It sounds like you might already know the answer and maybe just not ready to quit but the New Years is coming up be a great time for you to make a life change that will benefit your health for years to come. It's not easy be prepared for a battle but it's worth the fight.

That's a tough one if your prescribed this med I take it your safe but if your not assume you could be kicked off the team if you failed a drug test so that could be used as motivation. We all care about each other on here because no one else understands what we are going through. NA helps but it's different most people in that took a drug simply to party or escape we took this drug to enhance our capabilities it's like steroids for the brain but like steroids it does a lot of damage not safe for anybody.

I'm surprised at 16 years of use it still works for you. Most on here like myself seem to have a big crash at 8-10 year mark. Its a very tough choice espically in your situation being a person who manages others. The truth is you may very well fail at your job and that's a scary reality. Also what's scary is no one even the boyfriend breathing down your neck will fully understand when you quit why you can't simply bounce back to normal after a few weeks. But the big thing you need to ask yourself are you happy now? Is keeping this high stress job damaging your body and mind worth it? You've been on overdrive for 16 years I doubt your body can do it another 16 without major health issues arising. That's one of the main reasons I quit. Do I miss the never ending energy never wanting a nap , sleeping very little, never stopping for a meal? Hell yeah I do! Do I miss blowing up on my family, customers and myself constantly? No . You know on adderal I would get some bummed out when someone died and I had to attend a funeral. Not because I was sad it's because I knew majority of that day I could not work! How fucked up is that? But that's what this drug does to us makes us emotionless work zombies. I hope you decide to do this personally I failed at cold turkey but when I set a deadline with the step down method it worked. Since you've been on it so long that might be your best route you'll also need to kick those sleeping pills and you must step those down can't do a cold turkey safely. I was on 60mg addy for around 10 yrs also taking Xanax and pain meds for the last 2-3 yrs on top of it. I recall staying up for two days working on projects drinking taking pain meds then finally want to sleep so took some Xanax. Most often when the Xanax hit I never really knew if I'd wake up I was very lucky how most celebrities overdosed. I've quit them all for over a year now if I can do it anybody can.

I just posted about this under Inervention in the misc category. It's sad most insurance companies pay very little if anything for rehab. I spent $1200 just to do a local outpatient rehab course which I ended after two months because I could not afford to go any further. If you have health insurance you might check you could be lucky and they will pay for it.

Your doing the right thing can't play mommy to a grown man!

Hope he gets on board takes a ton of self control and determination to stop he will need to be in it 110% to be successful. Wish you luck and no taking it for big projects is not a realistic outlook glad you see that just hope he can.

You know what's sad is millions of people are in the same position I was. Isn't it sad so many families agree to publically air the dirt on a family member just for the chance to send them to a good rehab clinic? We spend billions on jails , prisons and law enforcement combating drugs yet very little public funding goes to help addicts in need.

Still get jealous of all those people in the intervention show that get flown out to some nice rehab facility to get all the help they need. Wish I would have had the funds or good insurance to do that when I first stopped. Funny thing is they agree to do a documentary on drug use but act totally shocked when they do the intervention. Have these people not seen basic cable? lol

It's such a struggle I know wish everyday did get a little better. I got myself up at 4:30 this moring to work out and had a really good one. But afterwords working my job I was fatigued and tired all day. I ate a healthy breakfast after working out , I went to bed around 10pm last night but I was dragging ass all day. It's so fucking frustrating you do everything that healthy energetic people do yet besides starting to get a little ripped no real payback in mood energy etc. But I'll keep on doing it at some point this has to pay off right? On another note had a weird dream this is regards to motivation and was from real life . When I was a kid we lived on a couple acres most had overgrown weeds little trees etc. I had to maybe have been 10 yrs old but I decided that clearing a go cart path might get my parents to buy me one. Anyways during the hot ass summer I had basic Amish tools. A hand saw , small axe, shovel and scythe. I worked all day nonstop for or a week to clear that damn brush trying to avoid poison ivy but got it anyways lol. I made a path that was maybe in a 1 acre area. I did not get the go cart but rode my bike around it for awhile. But it's odd I had that dream of doing that it kind of reminded me I had will power ambition way before I took adderal just wonder now where the fuck did it all go? I do the bare minimum of everything now and it pisses me the fuck off. Maybe one day I'll get that self motavation back I almost feel like I should go off into the woods with nothing try to survive and maybe get it back that way if you have nothing in the wild you'll get motavation or just die. I do want to leave you with things are still getting better for me at one year I just have high expectations. The anxiety I faced a couple months ago has subsided so thankful for that. But it's human nature to want more faster and I'm doing everything I can to hurry this process up. I know one thing if I had to work out only for a living I could do that love working out now guess it's the endorphin rush that's short lived soon as I stop . I spent 3 hrs Saturday at the gym running lifting weights etc my other half thought I was at a bar and lying lol. Maybe I could be a personal trainer but doubt it pays good as my trade.so I guess everything I do now except working out is half ass u could say.

"Small withdrawal, but I don’t have an addictive personality, it was kinda easy. If anyone wants me to write more in-depth on how I did it, I can, but that would be a separate post on its own, as there was a lot of different things I did that helped a lot." Congrats on doing this and being ok with the results in college grades that's a big sacrifice. If you care to share how you stopped cold turkey that may help others. Just be aware stopping this drug is a long marathon I'm a year out and still not comfortable saying I beat this. I know any day the temptation somehow can present itself and if I take it once a year of sobriety has ended. You may not have a addictive personality but your brain will at some level be craving this drug and it's very powerful! Just never let your guard down thinking you easily overcame that addictive part could cost you, avoid situations that involve being around adderall choose your friends wisely. I know in college a lot of students use it these days.

RobertKen another great cut and paste gibberish reply. I guess administration for this site is on vacation.

People need to report RobertKen and his wanna be Russian replies uncalled for.

Can't someone block this stupid clown above who thinks he is being smart? I cannot run more then 30 minutes on a treadmill ever! I could go another hour endurance wise but get so bored running in one place! It must be a ADHD thing I don't know how people do it .

It's slowly starting to turn around for the better couple weeks past the year point for me. I think reaching that year point was such a daily focus once I reached that milestone I was happy that I achieved it yet at the same time upset I did not feel really recovered. But now I do not focus much on how long I've quit and time goes by faster so maybe recovery seems a little quicker if that makes sense.

I didn't even have to use my A.K , things are progressively getting back to normal their is hope one day at a time your mind just has to forget that period of your life it will adapt back to reality. I honestly thought it never would glad I was stubborn like always didn't give in to something I set my mind on doing.

What helped me decide was nearly passing out in public from overworking my body to death with no sleep for days at a time.

What is your major malfunction? Ha jk your not doing this alone we are all here for u toss the pills away your only hope not to give in right now.

I think if someone took all the post from us and others feeling of hopelessness, anxiety and disappointment made a timeline graph they would all be pretty damn similar. I think at some point past the year mark you slowly stop looking at everything you do as a accomplishment from being off adderal u just do them. That's when I recently felt things are slowly getting better don't get me wrong I have a lot of issues but I can't blame them on adderall now or feel adderall is by any means a solution. So congrats Bluemoon and to anyone quitting if my pill popping ass of not just addy but other very hard pills can quit a year anybody can. You just must be stubborn as fuck about it don't let the pills win.