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Frank B

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Everything posted by Frank B

  1. I watched that pretty good also Botch was really a good show on Amazon. Just finished Narcos critics said the 2nd season could not match the first I disagree it was awesome.
  2. I'm not anti pot in fact done it a few times off this drug each time felt beneficial.But not sure if smoking pot all day everyday is going to help your recovery. I'm sure it may mask some of the withdraw but probably won't help long term. I also work from home alot I find it a double edged sword on recovery. I think people need a routine/ discipline making yourself go to a job everyday etc when you don't have that slacking off is a problem something I still deal with but its been getting better lately.
  3. Recently I have been steadily gaining self motivation unlike what I have ever experienced in the past several months since quitting. Instead of dreading things making them look like mountains I'm slowly building up steam to conquer these task and once started on them they do not seem like mountains but smaller hills. Im also gaining that feeling of "fuck rest" Im tired of wasting my spare time away on the couch I'm wanting to do more and actually doing it! I'm not just thinking about doing it. I still have yet to touch a sip of caffeine for three weeks plus I cant say that is why the change for the better or not but can say I have more cash in my wallet. Hope this is maybe a little inspirational and hopefully things keep going the right direction.
  4. I just don't know how you get to sleep on that amount that's a very very high dose. Just understand for all the positives it brings you now sooner or later all that will end.
  5. 120-160mg a day and still sleeping normally? You don't sound like your ready to stop but maybe at the very least try to cut down to what your prescribed. If you can't do that then understand your a junkie your abusing amphetamines and have no control is that what kind of role model you want for your kids? My kids had a ton of influence on my decision to quit I felt like such a hypocrite telling my teenage son quit being lazy all the time while I was always doing the impossible with help from my pills.
  6. Hope others learn you must absolutely no doubt cut your supply off completely or you will slip. I even recently took a far extreme I choose a new health plan that basically covers only catastrophic events. Having to pay full costs on doctor visits and prescriptions really make the thought of trying to see a new doctor a pretty big burden. I'm fucking done looking to doctors for "help" all the shit given to me adderall antidepressants etc have done far more damage then good. I'm not saying I'm against medicine but the human brain and how it really functions is still way beyond the grasp of mankind. That's why no one can cure mental illness , Parkinson's , ,dementia etc. But yet they give us drugs that are deemed safe to change our brains chemistry yet don't know what the fuck it's really doing. A new war on drugs needs to take place and I'm not talking about arresting a drug dealer making couple grand selling crack. I'm talking about these multi billion dollar corporations giving fucking SSRi suicide pills to depressed people because they were lied to and said it would help. The only thing these pharmaceutical companies want is people hooked they care less about the consequences suicides, kids shooting family members and mass shootings it's something they pay big piece of shit scum bag lawyers to cover up.
  7. I hope things change right now my mood is pretty blah. Im not happy and not sad, I do not feel anxiety but not calm either. I feel like I'm in a sort of adderall purgatory which is better then the hell I experienced earlier but also not where I want to reside for the next couple of months.
  8. August has been kinda crappy my buisness was slow but weather related mostly. I'm still debating if trying to keep my small buisness off adderal is the best thing. I sometimes wonder if a set schedule of work where I must be held accountable everyday would be for the better. Stopped using caffine thought that might help but so far besides my wallet I feel this may be a short lived caffeine free life. Yes I can make myself stop caffeine but if I show up to a job in the morning look dead tired maybe it's best to have some coffee. I really didn't think it did much until I went without just hope I can control my caffeine intake if I go back. Started to work out again which makes me feel better lifting weights running really helps my back from not hurting does it give me more energy? Not really ill work out hard for hour and half then still be sluggish all day. Just seems I'm doing everything to help this and nothhing works almost like I'll never recover because I forgot what it was not to be on adderal and have a productive day then again maybe I always lacked why I went to the drug in the first place.
  9. I've told a few fact is people who have never been on it simply have no clue it's really frustrating. People give up alcohol or cocaine everybody wants to throw them a fucking party. You quit adderall people just wonder why you can't be productive. It's a very depressing situation at times. I'm just glad this site is here but it's pretty hit or miss wish more people participated on a regular basis.
  10. Its hard when you know your bettering yourself on a personal level but my production is such a fraction of what it was. Family members worried when I worked non stop on projects investments etc while on adderall for years. Now I've been off nearly a year and my family wonders why I'm so fucking lazy not getting more jobs making more money for myself and kids. They act like I just don't want to but that's the furthest thing from the truth. I don't know why I'm still so tired unmotivated just doing the bare minimum. I feel pressure with bills etc why does my family want to put pressure on me? I don't know what to do sometimes I'm a better person but a lazy one I hate myself for that seems my family does too but yeah they are real fucking proud I stopped using they got a funny way to show it.
  11. So still no caffeine not sure if I'll cave in mornings seem rough but then again were before. Just seems like I can't be satisfied with a normal cup or two of coffee just go overboard with the energy shots ect. I'll try at least one more week caffeine free I just really miss ice tea at meals. Anyways stated working out again today feeling better from that already.
  12. You should start waking up glad you don't have them. I have dreams of taking OxyContin weekly I don't adderall anymore because I do not crave that drug subconsciously anymore. Normally wake up mad at myself for giving in taking the pill but then recall its just a dream but good reminder to myself why not to take them months of work down the drain. Maybe should talk to your mom about her possibly quitting don't know the story but gonna be hard for u to have any normal relationship with her if your always knowing she has the pills you crave.
  13. I do want to say alcohol should be avoided especially in early parts of recovery. If you must choose between giving up alcohol or caffine every day of course you should not drink alcohol. I think if you can be a social drinker some wine at dinner out to eat or a few beers at a ball game once in awhile nothing is wrong with that. Others on here I understand have addictive personalities and can't control themselves drinking. I think the problem with caffine is you can't enjoy it once in awhile without really needing it every day to function normally or having a horrible headache. Since I quit caffine after the initial three day detox I have not had a headache.
  14. My thought process on the entire caffeine deal is this. We all craved and got hooked on a stimulant to make us more productive focused etc. Obviously coffee energy drinks etc to most avg adult is a suffice tool to accomplish that but for us no we took adderall. So why is the main topic while quitting adderall don't drink alcohol? Is alcohol a stimulant? no. But yet we all say it's ok to take mild stimulant that still hooks us into a addicts mind. We must have caffine to wake up, we must have caffeine after lunch at work at night basically need it in our system 24x7. This is the American way right God bless Starbucks. People say pot is a gateway drug? Funny I'd say caffine is the gateway drug into dependency on stimulants. Go to any NA meeting people chug down coffee like its crack. Why is the dependency on this drug ok but God forbid you go have a beer to relax. Maybe why rehab doesn't work long term for most is because nobody looks outside the box of what's accepted to be ok. I'm not saying using alcohol is worse then caffine but actually to those of us hooked on stimulants maybe it keeps us from letting our minds develop the natural serotonin to keep us up and going at a normal pace. If I look into my own life I have a few friends who never drink caffine. One is a fireman and goes to nursing school when he is not on shift. I know he sleeps very little but has more energy then myself yet never uses caffine so this tells me caffine is not needed to stay awake. I just hope it works for me so far feel the same off it it hour spending $6-$10 a day feeding the habit.
  15. Bluemoon if you can take a break from caffeine for a week or two id say your just fine.😉☕ï¸
  16. I've wondered if possibly a small contribution to pretty much all of us having high anxiety coming off this medication might be a overuse of caffeine to sort of make up for the lost adderall boost. Personally my intake was overdone with little positive's still tired still unable to focus but I reached for a energy shot 2 to 3 times a day. I stopped all caffeine intake over a week ago mostly because I realized how much money was being tossed away for something that did very little. So far I seem to get a better nights sleep and feel less anxiety. So if your overdoing the caffeine and have high anxiety maybe cut back the amount you consume. Quitting it all together kind of sucks but feel like since I cant use a normal amount and be satisfied for now just go cold turkey. Anyways 9 months off this stuff hard to believe. If I never stopped my life would have kept going in a out of control downward spiral and probably would have died with the combo of drugs I was taking. I'm glad people have put up with me I feel half the stuff written was by a mad man with the grammar skills of a second grader. I want to say congrats to Bluemoon who has the same quit date of myself.
  17. Trying to talk to somone about relationships really high in stimulants never really gains much ground. Maybe tell her your worried want to go with her to the doctors and voice your concerns about her doubling her dose. Of course she will probbably flip the fuck out then maybe ask her why is she acting like this if nothing is wrong? She knows it's fucked up but she doesn't want to really own up to it.
  18. Prozac is some very scary shit hope your off it any SSRI drug totally fucks up people a lot of information is kept from the headlines but do some research online you'll see some horror stories. Wellbutrin is not as bad but it is basically a little brother of adderall it will boost energy some and suppress appetite etc. Congrats on stopping adderall that's awesome! You have no personality because you brain is saying wtf dude where is my pill? Your body is in like a prolong wait cycle just laying low until it gets its chemical boost. What you must do is wait it out and it takes time for your body not to rely on those chemicals it must produce its own. Of course it will never go to levels you were on adderall but should balance out to how things were before starting the drug. Some things we did on adderall at the time we thought we're great but in reality were just was stupid. Just curious if you looked back was your personality for your job outstanding on it or maybe a few times you were impatient blew a sale because you were racing too far ahead of the person you were dealing with. Hope you stick with it visit here often.
  19. Yes it does take a lot of time each day gets better but a slow process. Don't burden yourself with guilt be proud of yourself for what your doing now.
  20. No I do not view it as dangerous and everyone should stop. I just think if this makes a huge difference in my personal recovery maybe others might give it a try. No caffeine day 4 feel great actually feel like I was not that tired and even woke up way too early. Featherduster your reply is pretty odd I have been offended by you in the past. I'm going to just assume your brain damage is why you come off sort of smug. But understand anyone who enjoys Starbucks once or twice a day would be spending just as much if not more on a caffeine habit so my addiction to spending money for it is pretty typical. Saying 'we live once so enjoy a cup of coffee" is not what we say on here . I know we live once that sort of outlook had my taking fist full of pain pills and adderal I didn't really care only live once fuck it right? Quitting caffeine is my small battle right now for the greater good.
  21. Well while on adderall it was much worse I'd probably by 2 redbull 16 oz cans a day normally be $6-$7 per day habbit plus drink Dr. Pepper a lot. After adderal I stopped drinking sugar so had been drinking either drink plain coffee or tea which is cheap. But I also got hooked on 5 hr energy shots normally two a day on weekdays sometimes 3 on a very long work day so $6-$9 per day habbit. But say if I did avg the two a day for a year that's a $2,190.00 yearly habbit! Been using a lot of supplements (see I'm not anti supplements) to try and combat the fatigue post adderal but really caffeine seems to do little at this point. I could take a 5 hr energy and still want to lay down so why keep wasting the money? Seems like a lot of marketing wants us slaves to caffeine and it's like how things should be. It's different when used to be coffee, tea , soda but now these billion dollar energy boost drinks / shots industry really getting us all hooked on a whole new level. Kinda woke up early out of nowhere not sure why hope I can get back to sleep of course when you want to be tired u never can want to be awake and bed is all you think of.
  22. Yeah people drift on and off here a lot I use the phone version so get on it often. Today no headaches at all but was had a very hard job long day but did not have caffeine. Funny how when u take away something all the sudden it's like the greatest thing in the world and just mad you can't have it. I know if I do give in not the worst thing i could do and that first caffine boost will be a great buzz but then will go away sucks you can't enjoy caffeine u just get addicted and crave it to be "normal" it's just like any other drug and parents just hand that out to kids yet tell them say no to drugs lol.
  23. Slight headache tonight but not that bad. Don't know why I'm posting updates on this guess it's not the quitting caffeine site but this for me is part of my journey to get my body truly drug free. If I can get myself back to a pure state maybe a better well being will happen.
  24. Today I feel much better no headache! I actually feel a lot different having no caffeine for three days. I actually feel like I have more energy? I've read taking away all caffeine can help you achieve a better nights sleep might be something to that. Also I know they say for people who do have ADHD caffeine can do the opposite. Anyways feel hopeful this can really turn things around for me. I had no idea how much our bodies cling on to things like caffeine and would have such horrible withdraw but it was very short lived and if this is a sighs of things to come 100% worth it.
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