sky

hahaha awe Falcon my brother you are right!! I certainly didn't mean to imply that ALL afternoon naps are LAME! Just mine! After not putting in much of a productive work day, I'd eat lunch, then crash for more than 20 minutes for sure! It ate a big chunk of my work day and wasn't even well earned-- not like I got up early, put in a full day, took care of a bunch of kids, dogs, worked hard, etc. and then took a 20 minute power nap... no, nothing like that. So it was nice to not crash in the middle of the afternoon for no real reason today...! How are you feelin today?

Today was like the first day since quitting that I actually didn't take an afternoon nap!! It's been a month since I quit, and usually after eating lunch (which is healthy, low carb, not something that should make a normal person tired), I get tired and want to take a nap... today was the first day that I didn't! raise the roof! hope that's a sign that things are moving along.... Daily afternoon naps are LAME!

nice success story.........!

report him brother. hit the report button, state your case, let the mods take care of it....

you know, something I heard or learned or whatever back when I was in recovery for much harder illegal drugs was that the kick does suck, but it's so much in your mind... like, if you get the flu, that is debilitating and sucks ass, and there is no magic cure, you just have to ride it out and give it that 1-2 weeks it takes to get better. Is the kick from adderall anywhere as bad as having a case of the flu? I don't think so. I think it's a lot mental. As with any kick, we know there's a magic cure, and if we take it it will make the shitty feelings go away.... I say walk thru whatever you have to walk thru, suffer cuz you made that bed by making the decisions you made however long ago- deal with it, buck up, feel like shit, have a crappy thanksgiving or whatever, but ride it out. If we always put off the kick till tomorrow, we just keep putting it off... then its christmas, then is quanza, then its new years, then its mothers day, then its ground hog day.... you made the decision to stop, don't make the decision to put it off cuz you don't want to deal with the agony of stopping.... that's my 2 cents.

yeah you gotta remember that ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY OR FUN OR A WALK IN THE PARK.... its gonna be hard, but the longer you go, the easier and easier it gets.... and your brain is going to mess with you and think up all sorts of really great reasons to just take it and put it off till tomorrow and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla, that's the addiction-- if you learn to not give in to it, consciously change your thoughts to something else, and let it pass, it will pass.... derail that thought train. and eat, and get healthy, don't eat a bunch of shit, eat good food. watch inspiring movies. get out and keep your mind and body busy if you can stand it. and keep checking back in on here, share your story with other people who come here seeking help and advise.... stay connected to the people around here who have some time under their belt....

I was kind of thinking like I think quit-once is thinking.... I'm not convinced adderall is inherently bad, some people probably benefit from it. If you're taking it as directed and not abusing it, then maybe you're one of those people that benefits from it. I can understand wanting to not be dependent on it... or anything for that matter. But some people benefit from crutches, wheel chairs, eye glasses, etc... some people benefit from medications- certainly schizophrenics would like to be drug free, and I think it's common for people to do well on their meds, and think they're cured, stop taking them, and then go off the deep end... not trying to draw a link between you and that scenario, just giving an extreme example... Can you explain a bit more about why you want to stop? Are you abusing it or taking it as directed?

hey Tomasso, your story resonates with a lot of us I'm sure... it's funny (not really) how in the midst of it all its inconceivable to imagine life without it... you're like "what an unfair advantage I have over everyone else! If only they knew the secret to being 200%!", but after awhile, the long term effects come on and you (hopefully) hit a point of realization that, "omg holy crap what has happened to me?!" as it robs you of your soul, takes friends and loves from you, and makes you into a dud. Thus the search for a way out, which is how a lot of us found this forum... The thing to remember is that a lot of people (presumably) are doing really great without it. They're killing it in soccer, studying hard and acing exams, school, they party hard and dance all night, maybe feel like crap the next day, but still doing it and having a blast without the added addy bump. So if they can do it, so can we... we just have to trudge up that long rocky path to where we were before we started down that spiral to the hell we found ourselves... It ain't an easy battle, but no pain no gain, and in the end it'll be worth it... the small successes keep us going- feeling renewed senses of humor, feeling our "old" selves coming back, realizing we can make it thru a day, and then another, and then another, without taking adderall to do things like clean the fucking house, go to the gym, go on dates, interact, work, etc etc.... all things we used to normally pop a few to do we can do without the adderall. Day by day it gets easier, it becomes more normal again, and we realize that we are much better off trudging up that hill rather than remaining in the abyss... Be grateful you discovered it early on in life, that you didn't ruin marriages, lose families, kids, your freedom because you let it get way too out of hand... It's not the miracle drug we thought when we were first discovering its "potential". It's an illusion, a disillusion, a confusion....... (hahhaha wtf am I Johnnie Cochran!?). anyway, welcome to the forum.... !

the success is defined as making it thru the day without taking adderall. Since no one is ever really "in the clear" (hell, alcoholics count how many years, decades, etc...) we should consider each day we don't take it a success.... but the successive successes add up to more and more clarity with this stuff... it gets easier and easier the further away from it you get. So to answer your question, at first, we all succeeded by the hair of our chinny chin chin. we each had our own realization or breakthru that caused us to really want to stop. We realized we were abusing it, that it was having an adverse affect on some aspect of our lives that was more important than the crutch of the adderall. something or someone caused us to want to change. And then we commenced the stopping. Most of us found this site seeking information on what adderall had done to us, or how to stop, or some google search. And a lot of us keep coming back and checking in, or reading posts, and staying the course... or not, but at least the seed of quitting has been planted, now its not the same, using adderall isn't the great secret that it was before. I wonder if adderall would be as bad if we didn't abuse it. If we used it as prescribed, would it have the same bad effects? what happens if you try to take it as directed?

yes, I think those feelings will definitely pass... all those pills are heavy drugs, they change the chemicals in your brain, do all sorts of magic in there, some good and some not so good magic... coming off of them is going to hurt and you're going to have a lot of mind fucks- given enough time and footwork those things will all pass... think of it as kicking. kicking any drug is hard and painful and a real mind fuck. if you look around on this site you'll see a lot of people talk about the first few days, the first week, first few weeks.... its all pretty much sucky depending on how much you were taking and for how long and your body chemistry and what you do about it all... ie. diet, exercise, etc etc.... To answer your question, yes, those feelings will pass. If its overwhelming and too much, call someone for help (if it gets to that point).... and remember that those feelings are most probably the drugs leaving your body and your mind going WTF!?

http://www.hulu.com/watch/68225

hahaha ahhh Jack3d.... I used to take that, now I use Cellulor C4 Extreme... next time you're supposed to get off the Jack'd, check that out... I like it better, haven't gone back to the Jack'd since. Still get all the benefits of the Jack, same Jack itch, but I like it better.... great workouts. When I was taking addy and going to the gym I actually used to worry about having a heart attack on the elliptical. haha, oh the shit we do that seems normal. No tips though, dunno how it is that the addy doesn't call to me. I STILL have the same 5 pills I spilled out on my bathroom counter sitting in the upturned top of the bottle... it's there, I see it, doesn't call to me. I am DAMN grateful for that. and I am SURE life is better now than it was 3 weeks ago, maybe it's more than just stopping, maybe we all have to add something back into our lives that creates a new day. Like the old AA credo or whatever, you can't just stop drinking, then you're just a dry drunk, you have to change from within. For me, it was SEEING that life is better now than before. I would be INSANE to go back to the addy and weed and give up what I have now... I met the most AMAZINGLY PERFECT person I have ever met.... work is better, I feel connected, I feel funny, I feel like someone I LIKE again, not just a shell who'd look at himself in the mirror and think UGH, what the fuck happened to you?? Maybe that is the trick, demonizing it. Seeing not as something you're giving up, but seeing that it caused damage, caused loss, caused stagnation. Seeing the addy not as something that aided and helped, but as something that was abused and wrought wreckage. It has to be a process. But I think replacing that with something new, some new way of seeing yourself and your new life helps break the shackles. And like the gym, it has to be done daily, otherwise you get lackadaisical and are soon easily swayed.... Life is frikkin beautiful. Break the chains that bind. Fight the powers that be. I love that we can embed videos... This one, hardly appropriate but as I was typing that last bit, came into my head, so what the hell:::: http://youtu.be/8PaoLy7PHwk

hey Falcon, I'm writing this as I listen to BB sing the blues... You hit it though, good days and bad days... sometimes the only thing to do is crawl back into bed and hope to wake up to a brighter tomorrow.... it weighs heavy, and nothing can help but time, and the knowledge that you felt good before, and you'll feel good again.... we're all with you brother, hoping you get some relief from the blues. damn what a sweet slow jam. sometimes all you can do is nod your head and groove along with it...

you mean, Break A Leg!!

haha hey Falcon, thank you brother, back in the rehab days they used to say we are the lucky ones who stop... I had friends in there who went out and OD'd, not sure if it was suicide or they just did what they used to do but without the same tolerance. We are lucky who hit our bottom and claw and climb out... You're a good man and your passion for imparting your wisdom and assistance around here is really nice... It feels good to have a sort of group of people who don't know each other but who share a common monkey on the back, who battle similar demons, who have similar long, treacherous paths ahead of them. We are better off not doing it alone, and the time under your belt and experiences help those who are struggling to make it thru the day while the addy calls out to them. There but for the grace of God go I, we were all one day one once. Thank goodness that is over, and now it gets easier and easier to leave it behind and move forward, redefine and be a better person. I have no doubt that my life is significantly better today than it was 3 weeks ago. If only I had known this years ago, but at least I know it now... It is well worth the struggle and discomfort. No pain no gain brother. I am so grateful for finding this site, in more ways than one....

also you don't want, out of desperation, for him to make a bigger problem trying to get more... ie. buying on craigslist, trying to write his own scrip, trying to get another MD to write him a scrip, etc.... lots of things could go wrong if he is desperate enough.

yeah I think that the addict in all of us would be able to figure out how to circumvent your solution in a heartbeat... it is so plentiful and available, hell he could tell his Rx that he dropped them, they got wet, they got stolen, etc... they're pretty readily available on craigslist, and he probably knows someone who also has them.... no one is ready to quit until they're ready. until he sees the destruction its doing, and hits bottom.... peoples bottoms vary, but if he is to the point where you fear you and the kids might be in danger then just go. Ultimatums don't work, again, there are ways of manipulating any situation if you put your mind to it, so HE has to decide enough is enough, it's ruining his life, life will be better without it, etc.... its become a crutch, maybe he'll figure it out, hopefully. I wouldn't take the pills, I understand your motivation, but again, we're all pretty clever when we want to be, and now you're someone else he has to hide it from.... plus, it is a drug and quitting cold turkey could be harmful, I'm not sure, that is for the MD to answer, but you might take care of yourself and your kids and let him figure it out on his own...... you gotta decide that based on your dynamic and who he is, you know better than me what would probably happen.

amazon is my go to place... looks like they have a bunch. they sell kava kava pills too... we used to put those under our tongues in the recover house way back when... http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=kava+kava+tea

damn Falcon, you were a BALLER in your party days! I shoulda hung with you! That's a lot of extra dough to have, that is the reward of not wasting it on partying... good times are fun, but what do you have at the end of the day? barely even memories. probably no digits. a hangover. and hopefully that's the worst of it... Those days were fun, seemed necessary, but as we grow up, we see more what really matters.... love, relationships, being a positive influence--- this world, our country, has gotten crazy. We've all lost sight of what matters, we're all collectively so self involved, so self important, we're rude and act entitled... It's important to be part of the solution, not the problem... we can do this by being productive and positive members of society. Learning a higher way of thinking and acting amongst our peers. Being cooperative and not competitive, realizing true success is not achieved at another persons expense. It ain't easy, especially with all the tools running around out there, but trying to consciously center and ground ourselves, not get caught up in the moment and lose our cool, and take the high road... though not that high road.... not saying there is not use for drugs. Sometimes they can be mind expanding, some good things have happened and been created with them, but it's a fine line, and the more recreational ones ultimately are just destructive and pure vanity... I hope you begin to feel better and possibly redefine yourself to yourself, change who you are from what you were to a new you. Not saying I see anything wrong, but that's growth, evolution, ascension.... we all should be trying to live a life of ascension... always, every day, trying to be better than we were yesterday. Here's the ONLY beatles song I ever dug... I'm too much of a jam band kinda guy... has no relevance whatsoever... http://youtu.be/1AN7S7n8VdM

haha "halfway decent" is like 4 stars on neflix...! yeah, it was pretty good, and I agree about Robert Downey Jr... loved him in Natural Born Killers.... it was interesting how they depicted the doctor as being willing to freely prescribe meds based on just his symptoms... I don't think they're all like that, but it was pretty easy to get prescribed adderall. Not sure how else it could work, I mean I guess they're trusting that when people go in and say they're having those issues, that they genuinely have them and want help.... thanks for watching and letting me know what you thought!

Hey Falcon and Jenna, I got some Sam E from the Trader Joes recently and started taking it... I think it might be giving me headaches... I take it in the morning with two Crave Control pills http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004RDA87G/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00 . Not sure what any of them are doing. But I only take them in the morning before breakfast. Maybe they require a lot of water as well? Sorry to hear about the way you're feeling falcon, that does suck! not gonna try and play doctor with you, maybe with Jenna, but Exercise, Diet, and exposing yourself to positive new ideas (formerly under the guise of Positive Literature ((not limited to self help books, just new ideas))). There is a good book called Healing ADD http://www.amazon.com/Healing-ADD-Breakthrough-Program-Allows/dp/0425183270/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352149246&sr=8-1&keywords=healing+add+by+dr.+daniel+amen that I have that I got before I was prescribed adderall, that talks about 6 types of ADD and how to heal them with different NON MEDICINE lifestyle changes. It goes thru 6 different types of ADD, so you can read the chapters and try to determine which type you are, and then see how it says to eat, exercise, etc. to change your body chemistry I guess.... you might check it out. I'm at 2 weeks off now, feeling great. Life is 180 degrees better, completely different, and I hope that doesn't sound like gloating or annoying but is instead more of hope that THINGS DO GET BETTER.

hey how was your first day free of adderall? pretty f'in great?

hey hey welcome to the forum.... there are a lot of people on here who can relate, who have similar stories, and who can be great sound boards. It sounds like you've gotten yourself in pretty deep and it's going to be a process, a painful and hard process, to dig yourself out... not to scare you, you know that already, no one thinks quitting and recovering is going to be easy and a skip in the park. You've lost things because of where you're at with the addy, the cigs are horrible- I was the same, I'd smoke butts out of the ashtray if I was out... so f'in gross. One thing is for certain, it is worth all the pain, discomfort, and results of stopping. It feels a fuck ton better to not be a slave to it. I'm like 10 days in I think, 180 degree difference. Look better, feel better, and it doesn't call to me anymore. I wasn't as deep in probably, and someone close to me told me I was being a dick a lot of the time when normally I'm a pretty chill and cool guy, so I googled "does adderall change my personality?" and found this forum. Talking to your parents might be a good idea. You never know how they're going to handle it. My parents are similar sounding, they're both in the medical field, were a lot more conservative when I was younger, and about 15 years ago I told them I had a big problem with a big drug. It was amazing how they stepped up and dealt with it in a way that was conducive to my stopping and recovery. So you gotta make that call, but if you find yourself saying and preying every night or morning "please today I don't want to use any adderall, please let me stop on my own..." and you're not able to, day after day after day, then it's time to get some help. I used to think of it as Coerced Help, I didn't want that, I wanted to just stop on my own, but every day I thought I would the next day, and I never did, so eventually the universe gave me coerced help and I hated it cuz I no longer had the control or power over myself that I wanted to maintain, but ultimately that was for the best... cuz I ain't doing that shit anymore..... Good on ya for searching and finding this forum, I think it's a pretty good place, good people in here, good messages....

Are you able to go the a doctor and get an EKG? the doctor that prescribed adderall to me had me get one before he'd prescribe it. He said it used to be standard procedure to get patients an EKG before putting them on adderall, but that in recent years that had changed, though he still did it (probably very responsible of him). You might have yourself checked out... if you feel heart palpitations and chest pain I definitely would. I had a little mole on my chest by my armpit that slightly itched in the shower one day, I had that checked out, turned out to be melanoma... fortunately I did that and they caught it early and that was that, but if I'd of ignored it and done nothing, probably wouldn't be writing this... Regarding your parents. My folks were good dedicated parents as well, did everything they best they could, provided a great upbringing for me and my sister and were 100% there for us. I had a bad addiction when I was early 20's (not to adderall), and it got so out of hand that I told them. I can not believe how good they were about it. That was immediately the beginning of the end (even though it took a few more years and thousands of their dollars in recovery houses. They weren't exactly understanding, because they wondered what they'd done wrong, when in reality it had nothing to do with them, but they were there for me and were a part of my recovery and their non-co-dependence helped even though I hated it at the time. Adderall is a prescription addictive drug. Its a much different scenario. If you think their help would help you, you might consider talking to them. You were prescribed it, it is addictive, it is easy to abuse... If you're having a hard time stopping all together, and you want to and think you should, then telling them might help you. On the flip side, I haven't talked to them about my issue with adderall. It's been one week for me. I don't fight it though, it's not calling to me at all. I feel a fuck ton (that's a lot) better now and am liking the way I'm feeling and the changes I can already see in my life as a result of not taking it, so that's my motivation to keep doing what I'm doing. I don't think any doctor recommends that we stop cold. I asked my doctor last time I saw him about what happens when if ever I wanted to quit, I think they'd recommend a slow lowering of dose, though I'm not sure. Have you read up online about how to quit and what is recommended? I haven't.

haha yup, same here. maybe in the future, to save time and money and automate the whole thing, they'll just give out a questionnaire with the probing questions they ask with the suggested answers if you want the scrip... Skip to 4:44. This is from the movie Gift, and old Janes Addiction flick, it is pretty graphic before 4:44 so watch at your own risk!! http://youtu.be/bZxjFDKWJa0