Doge

This a thousand times; because they do!

abnormal thoughts, for sure. even well into recovery psychologically paralyzed? I'm not sure what you mean. I could definitely use this phrase to describe how i felt on adderall at times, but during recovery... you'll have to explain

congrats on 60 days that's excellent. at your age it is totally reasonable to not depend on caffeine (under normal circumstances), though if it's helping you feel better during adderall recovery (6 years or so is a long time), I can't see anything wrong with it. I wish I knew what to say about the anxiety attacks, but the fact that you are so young can only work in your favor.

Glad to hear you are feeling better! 15 months is huge!

I think you should tell her about your experience with adderall. Of course you don't have to go into every detail; your privacy is obviously your privacy. But the reason I think you should tell her is twofold: 1) to protect her and give her ample warning since her psychiatrist sounds like a quack already and honestly more importantly 2) to protect yourself from the inevitable temptation to ask her to share. It's sooo much of a risk for you to be associated that closely with someone who has full access to the drug. Just my thoughts.

i just binged bojack horseman because i was hungover yesterday like a fool. there is a pretty good adderall scene that accurately portrays the illusion of genius pretty well, can't remember what episode though sense8 i just couldn't get into really - was bored of feeling confused, let me know if it gets good i might give it another try. Narcos i watched the other week and enjoyed quite a bit. There is a netflix thread somewhere with a really good list but here are some ones I have enjoyed recently - you may have already watched them though -bloodline -Salem (US only, first season is pretty good) -bojack horseman (As i said its pretty good once you give it a couple episodes) And of course these ones go without saying, if by some chance you haven't seen them all, I envy you. -breaking bad -dexter -prison break These ones aren't on netflix but if you are download/torrent savvy you can find them easily and are the two best shows in existence in my opinion -game of thrones -the wire Oh and if you feel like getting emotional and watching something that will make you cry, try Derek with Ricky Gervais.

Didn't keep my word. There is still laundry everywhere waiting to be done. By Monday I will deal with everything (you can literally hear the procrastination in my voice.....). The good news is that I have joined two sports clubs that meet once a week. So I can do something besides jogging on the treadmill like a brainless hamster for my cardio now. It should be fun and a great way to start socializing more and work on those skills that decayed.

the fact that you are here and trying to remember rather than just chasing the script is a testament to how strong you have become in the last 16 months. you definitely don't want to throw all that away. a single pill of adderall will sweep through like a tidal wave and almost immediately destroy what you have built. The person you were before you finally quit for good, that person that you despised, the person that the adderall turned you into, will come soaring back within 20 minutes. but by then you probably won't care, because thats the effect it has. it lets you watch your whole world burn and crash into nothing, while you shrug it off like its happening to someone else. for the alive and awake brain feeling: clean diet, vitaminD3, fishoil twice a day, exercise, and a good nights sleep is the way to go! It's the harder way to achieve the result but it feels so much better in the long run!

You rock! pizza bagels sound delicious. what show are you into on netflix?

just surface cleaned lol. but a drawer/cabinet clean would be something to shoot for too. Maybe I'll allow a week or so for that to happen. laundry is getting done tonight though i swear

welcome back and glad to hear you stopped taking the stimulant if you didnt feel like it was right for you. yes i find that even if I drift away from this site for a few days the cravings return.

made it through the kitchen and bathroom, both spotless then I burnt out before I got to the laundry. gotta save something to procrastinate

the wire season 4 made me cry like a baby during early recovery, i remember feeling like the experience had a profound impact on me it's probably just a lot of built up emotion and stress that has been supressed for such a long time, maybe just finding an outlet through empathizing with characters in a TV show makes it all gush forth like a waterfall, idk just speculating TV/food escapism is truly a gift during recovery and you are awesome too!

happy birthday zerokewl!!!!!!! still a long way to 40. don't rush it!

no easy feat

actually today im blasting tune and going on a ballistic cleaning spree on my apartment

I'm so happy for you. I hope these first few days go as smoothly as possible for you. Sauna and treadmill is a great idea. Motivation to go there won't come easy but it will sure make you feel a hell of a lot better once you do it. I was digging through your paragraph and looking for a key detail that seems to be crucial to the success of quitting. This is the closest I found: I have to say, this sounds a bit like a half-measure. Did you actually tell him/her you are addicted and want to be cut off permanently? What is to stop you from changing your mind in a few months when the craving/romanticization hits? I'm saying this because I personally decided to quit so many times, often making it a couple of months clean, only to change my mind and go back to the pills. Refusing to tell the truth and the whole truth delayed my recovery by an entire year. Now is the time to close this door permanently, while your resolve is strong.

Congrats MJ!!!! go hit that sauna!!!

just saw the picture with sunglasses and lost my shit couldn't resist lol

Yup it's me. I'm sneaky.

For some reason the 6 month milestone drifted by and I didn't care too much or even notice but my 7 month is a big deal and I was anxiously counting down to it for the past few days. Once again I owe this site and everyone on it a huge thank you for helping me so much with my recovery. Without you guys I know I would have become desperate enough and would surely have found a way to get drugs whether it be adderall or something worse. Thanks also for putting up with my weird name changes. But seriously what other forum actually lets you do that? Gotta take advantage since the option is available right?

Take a break and blast one of your favorite songs you used to love but haven't listened to in forever.

This. Me. Every God damned day.