Doge

just saw the picture with sunglasses and lost my shit couldn't resist lol

Yup it's me. I'm sneaky.

For some reason the 6 month milestone drifted by and I didn't care too much or even notice but my 7 month is a big deal and I was anxiously counting down to it for the past few days. Once again I owe this site and everyone on it a huge thank you for helping me so much with my recovery. Without you guys I know I would have become desperate enough and would surely have found a way to get drugs whether it be adderall or something worse. Thanks also for putting up with my weird name changes. But seriously what other forum actually lets you do that? Gotta take advantage since the option is available right?

Take a break and blast one of your favorite songs you used to love but haven't listened to in forever.

This. Me. Every God damned day.

really happy to hear you've made that choice. don't let yourself back down between now and then. once the first few days of agony subside it will be really easy to talk yourself out of confessing the truth. remind yourself constantly and keep your resolve

binging harder just for the sake of getting rid of the pills is a bad idea. I don't really know what to tell you..... if you're looking for endorsement or approval for having one last hurrah, I can't in good conscience give it to you. Overdoses do happen But if you do decide to do it, make sure to notice how unremarkable it is. looking back on my binges of the past, any one of them could have been the time my heart finally stopped, as much as I didn't want to think about it at the time. PLEASE DONT DO SOMETHING UNSAFE I'd much rather see you delay your quitting date by a day than fly into an double adderall frenzy with the misguided intention of getting clean "faster". ultimately it's your choice, looking forward to meeting the clean you

Man life on your campus sounds like an addicts dream.... sorry to hear it's so hard. Maybe a lifestyle change would help, circle of friends etc. This is something I'm working on myself: though it has nothing to do with adderall recovery but just life in general. http://illimitablemen.com/2014/04/13/monk-mode/ PS - to any women seeing this, It's clearly written for men but no reason it can't apply to women as well obviously

When I finally reached out and admitted I am hooked and killing myself (to my doctor/supplier) the immense relief I felt was matched only by the incredulity I experienced at how simple and final it really was. Don't kid yourself into thinking the matter is complicated. One phone call to your doctor can set you *PERMANENTLY* on the path to a new life. The longer you wait the worse it'll be. But I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. I wish you the best.

reminds me of the game pipe dream for windows 3.1

It sounds like you know what you need to do. I recommend scrap the idea of a study stash. Any stash you leave behind is just a trail of gasoline you leave behind when you walk away. Taking a single pill for any purpose you can justify is like lighting a match. The flames instantly catch up to you and your addiction is roaring again, no matter how long you stayed clean. Plan your quit date, and just make sure it's all gone by then, stash and all. And tell your doctor. Do you really want to go through this again after being 8 years clean? That must be so painful I can feel it from here.

Wheeee!!!!

I'm glad you decided to quit again. It's no way to live. I'm sorry that you are feeling sad but we both know that will take time to heal. Hope you got some good snacks and at least a few days off to lounge around. So let's talk about your plan to prevent another relapse. Did you cut off your supply? EDIT: Just went back and read your older posts. Looks like you were over two years clean. That is an amazing accomplishment. It must hurt to have to restart that difficult climb, but at least you know what to expect.

Yeah they used to be called diet pills (particularly dexedrine which is basically the same thing as adderall) many years back. That was before the word got out pretty much that they are prescription speed/cocaine. People assuming she was on cocaine is not surprising. The way I used to binge pop the pills I was behaving pretty similar to a cocaine junkie.

and no more GOD DAMN BURGERS FROM BK

I know it's a bit early, but I'm going to celebrate my 7 months with a new identity. No more being grumpy.

I wish i had some information for you but I have no experience with adderall on such a long time span. But 7 months is really awesome that you did it (as you can see I'm not quite there myself yet). I can relate to the weight gain. It is SO HARD to get those flabby pounds off. If you quit once before for so longyou can certainly do it again. I don't know how long it takes to get back to normal exactly but as far as I know some of the key factors are 1) duration of use (long in your case) 2) age (but you are still quite young this is good!) 3) dosage (not specified) Good luck to you in your quest I have faith in you!

also never be afraid to take out your stress on others! jk - this is unhealthy

Nice ticker by the way!!!

By the way, quitting after 15 years of using the dosages you described is an amazing accomplishment. I'm sure the last year has been incredible hard at times but you should be immensely proud of yourself.

I've gained a lot of weight too. Trying to eat clean and exercise lots but its not easy. And I fall off the wagon every now and again (god damn BK whopper wednesdays)....

So glad to hear. Congrats man!

I check this site as often or more often than facebook or my email. When I go a few days without checking back here (when I'm travelling or something) it doesn't take long before the cravings start to creep back in. I have an immensely long way to go still in my recovery.

It sounds like you are still wrestling with the question of whether or not you are addicted. Once you've binged. You are addicted. That's simple. Tell each and every one of them you are addicted and not to ever give or sell you another pill. Your noticeable resistance to taking that admittedly difficult step is more evidence of addiction. I don't mean to come across as judgmental in any way whatsoever. I have been where you are and probably much worse. I'm just trying to tell it like it is. I wish I could go back and tell myself so I could have gotten off the destructive path sooner.