Doge

you will surpass it tenfold. you were not as great on adderall as you thought you were

beautifully written

for me riding the train home on a friday (remembering the past where I'd be looking forward to a weekend binge) was a deadly trigger for me

I ran out early every month, then went through the crash/withdrawal. One of the troubling parts about this process is the way the crash made me feel like I was becoming not-addicted anymore, when in reality the crash itself was part of the addictive ritual that I was creating and strengthening each time I followed the pattern. Then what's to stop you from changing your mind when you get tempted later and forget how bad it really was? There is NOTHING to be ashamed of in admitting the abuse. The doctor will understand and not judge you. And if he judges you, fuck him! It's not worth delaying your recovery over.

Also, it's important to recognize whether or not moderation is an option. I had many relapses into adderall convincing myself it would be OK as long as I kept it in "moderation", each time spiraling back into psychotic chaos. Sometimes I think I'm the same way with alcohol. I can't have one beer. I have to have 3 or more, no matter what my intention was at the start of the night.

im happy to hear you are feeling well

you're getting close!!!!

totally been there. still working on it but it does come in time. remember, baby steps!

going from 2.5 to nothing should be fairly reasonable. most of the hard work is already behind you, enjoy the benefits of your hard work!

cancel your subscription and flush those little shits down the toilet or within two years from now you'll be holding your head in your hands crying, wishing you did

it hits me sometimes too idonttan. i have faith that it will go away eventually. keep it up you're doing great!

your usage was the same as mine. That's no way to live. Proud of you for deciding to walk away finally I agree that telling your doctor is a crucial step. You've wired your brain to be like a two-week-ticking-time-bomb. Quitting through willpower alone will feel impossible after a few months. I relapsed after this long several times because I failed to commit fully and cut off my sources for good. That pattern gets burnt into the skull so easily without realizing it.

finally over my borken hart. happy thanksgiving all. family time is so great

cat!!! Congratulations!! Im so happy for you. I hope the withdrawals are relatively mild. You've worked hard during your long tapering period so you deserve an early recovery that isn't too agonizing. Please go easy on yourself regardless

thanks for sharing

you were a mellow person between binges right? but then once you quit for good the anxiety feels like its slowing boiling over time? the binges were like blowing steam and reseting your pressure gauge and starting over every couple weeks or so. over time you will learn to cope normally. also growing up may be a factor as well. none of us are as mellow as we used to be when we were in high school and nothing seemed to really matter all that much. college is stressful. quit worrying so much! you are doing great and you will feel even better in a few months time. you're in college right now this is the best time of your life be glad you're not fucked up on pills any more. life is going to be awesome trust me

i had muscle twitches in my eyes which never went away until about 5 months

also, now that I remember your story. You need to accept the fact that you spent years buzzed out on adderall and YOU WILL NEVER BE THAT PERSON. you have limits just like the rest of us. you can't expect to be superman none of us are

FKADDERALL: Yes you will heal for the love of God lol. You will heal faster and more fully than most just be patient. But yes you will always be an addict. In 30 years from now, if you try to take just one pill you will end up binging just like before.

my most lingering problem is lower back pain. I did a lot of damage from my 18-38 hour "desk" sessions

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awesome u guys keep it up!

Just stop. It's simple at this point. Don't let it get bad. Wishing you the best!

in Love