Doge

personal trainer is a great investment of money i think

yes, this is true. and it is hard to come to terms with but is part of the process that thrilled giddy feeling adderall gave you does happen naturally, but it is fleeting and doesn't always last long. you can still get into the zone though, but it is taxing on the brain so it naturally can't last forever. thats why its so important to develop good discipline and working habits (something you just cant do on adderall) to make the most out of those precious times (that being said i'm totally not there yet)

thats so great to hear

If you've been using the prescribed dose for 2 months, quitting shouldn't be too painful. But there will still probably be some sort of withdrawal process. There shouldn't be any reason you can't tell your bf that you were prescribed medication and it's been affecting your personality negatively. This will also explain why you won't be yourself either for a couple of weeks while you adapt. The adaptation back to normality, if you've only been using 2 months, should be relatively quick. I'll tell you the same thing I told you 6 weeks ago. Quit now. If you are worried about quitting now, you will be in for HELL if you let this go on for a year. And trust me that year will fucking FLY by on speed, which is what you are taking. Everyone on this site will probably say the same thing. If your job is making you feel like you have no other option than to resort to adderall usage. QUIT the fucking job! It's not worth it! You are rolling down a gradual decline right now, headed for a very steep drop-off. Much easier to stand up, dust yourself off, and walk away from it then have to climb out of the fiery canyon of hell that you will inevitably fall into if you continue using this drug. You know what you need to do. You said it yourself in your post. Post on this forum lots for support. You can get through this "fairly easily" if you quit now. I am truly sorry if I sound overly direct and harsh, but I want very badly for you not to feel the burning agony that you are in for if you don't. We are all here for you.

just keep staying away from those pills at all costs. you are doing great. do you mean advice on working out? or just in general. if you meant the first, for starters what is your height/weight/age/gender?

yeah its basically one big adderallic fantasy

for me it's the gym. i will screw up everything i've worked for if I binge for a couple days (which is exactly what I would do if i got my hands on some) this is how i stay away from weed too, because I want to run and play racket sports and basketball etc. I don't want to be an antisocial hermit smoking pot in my apartment by myself, texting people to cancel prior engagements and games. I've been fighting with myself tooth and nail (going through some very miserable times) for every inch of improvement and it can all be flushed down the toilet by a relapse.

your choice. i find caffeine in moderate doses to make me really happy. but it only works once per day. first cup of coffee in the morning - makes my world amazing for a while second cup in the afternoon - keeps me functioning for the rest of the afternoon third cup of coffee in the evening - big mistake, just makes me feel like crap and i wont get a good nights sleep glad you are feeling better and not feeling depressed anymore. for what its worth i've noticed a huge improvement in my own mood since after 8 months. adderall barely crosses my mind every few days but I've forgotten what it feels like to dwell on it. "too many things to do tomorrow" is my immediate next thought. (i don't even associate adderall with productivity anymore, it was just a stress relief to indulge in abusively) hope that is a bit encouraging at least. keep your head up

thats why i love this comic, lol

around the 4-5 month mark was probably when I truly forgot what it was like to be on adderall. you may be doing the same thing when you look back on it so fondly.

and i thought giving babies benadryl was bad....

welcome back. nice to meet you!

does this make you feel better? a little? maybe?

only you know yourself. i just know that i relapsed over a dozen times after staying clean for 2-3 months because I (as in my inner addict version of me) simply convinced myself things werent that bad. Since I hadn't told my dealer why I stopped he just gave me more. im just lucky my dealer was a friend who cared about my well-being. once I finally broke down and told him what was going on (about me binging for days straight) finally, he was like, "wow holy shit. yeah i'm not giving you any more ever" some scumbag would have just tripled the price and continued to supply me once he realized I was addicted

Im so happy to hear you told your doctor the truth. So many people refuse to do this and it hurts their chances of true recovery because they can just go back to the pills later when they change their mind. And yeah, we addicts are amazing actors.

When you were still using, during the weeks that followed your binges, did you socialize less? I'm betting you experienced the same thing then but just didn't notice as much since you were looking forward to your pills, and those thoughts dominated your mind against little insecurities like this. I may be projecting, but this is how I feel about myself looking back now. Your eloquence will return. Your brain just has to heal. You will be better than ever in time I promise!

It's haunting how similar our stories, yet they take place in different settings with difference ... characters? The perceived climb to greatness and the inevitable fall to despair is such a common thread in all of our stories.

Congrats!!!! YOU ROCK!!!! Treat yourself to something, you deserve it! Personally I started to really notice relief and happiness around the 5 month mark.

So happy for you. Quitting saved my life as well. Post lots over the next few months!

good luck!!!!!! you can do it! are you defending your thesis?

all of that sounds normal. Keep up the good work you are doing amazing!

how are you feeling lately cat? It's been a week or so since you finally shrugged off the last 2.5mg? or am I off... just throwing this out there, 5-HTP is amazing for making yourself feel better (helps you produce more seratonin and melatonin) and you can easily start and stop taking it at any time. I've had a wonderfully positive experience with it on my crappy days, then when I am having a good day naturally I just forget about it and it sits there for weeks. I don't think it's habit forming at all - that being said I'm pretty new to it.

very insightful, this is what I did to my friends and family so I shudder to thing what would have happened if someone were truly dependent on me for emotional support during that time