Doge

Keep it up!!! The brain fog will gradually get better!

I'm very happy for you both that tapering is working. I suppose that is one big upside of not abusing the drug!

Chest pains were probably the absolute worst side effect I remember. So much panic, yet wasn't willing to go to the hospital due to fear of going to jail. Ironically that is also the side effect that is easiest to forget....

Well, at least you are quitting! Congratulations on your choice! Did you see a doctor about your concussion? It doesn't sound like you were hanging around very nice people. It was wrong to steal her medication (though as an addict I completely understand what it's like) but that was a completely inappropriate reaction. Best to just keep looking forward now. Get lots of rest and feed/hydrate yourself while you recover. Congratulations again on taking the first step on this difficult but wonderfully rewarding journey!

Congratulations on sticking to it! You should definitely expect to feel more depressed and tired as you slowly lower your dose. Your body has become accustomed to the drug and you are slowly taking it away. Going from 25 to 15 sounds like it would be more painful than going from 15 to 10, so the good news is if you are well-adapted this drop shouldn't be as bad, though going from 10 to 5 may hurt a bit more. It's hard to say because I've never had any experience tapering properly. The other good news is you can go as fast or as slow as you are comfortable with.

You should absolutely be proud! You are doing great!

Congratulations! Sorry your boyfriend isn't being as supportive as he could be. But it could be a lot worse. It sounds like he's at least understanding and never left your side throughout this ordeal. It must also be very frustrating for significant others of addicts. All of my relapses over the past years kind of are just blurred together into foggy memories and only my last and final quit stands out lucidly in my memory. But if I had a girlfriend by my side the entire time getting emotionally invested in every single time I said I was done, I'm sure she would not forget all those failed quits, and it would be hard for her to understand why this one is different. Anyways, I don't know your guys' history, but I'm just trying to shed some positivity and another possible perspective on the situation. Either way it doesn't change the fact that you are doing fantastic. Congratulations again! Do something nice for your self today!

This post makes me so happy. Keep up the awesome work! By the way, check out this thread. You can post every day to let us know how you are doing so we can highfive you each day! http://forum.quittingadderall.com/topic/1742-the-30-day-challenge-reloaded-welcome-all

the analogy is real

You have already taken the first step by reaching out. Well done! I promise to you 100% that what you are describing is only just the beginning of a horrible horrible path you do not want to go down. If you've already gotten to the point of the dosages you are describing then history tells us all that it is not possible. You really want to try (just like we all did). This kind of thinking really gets in the way of progress and will delay your recovery for as long as you let it. Weaning is in all likeliness not an option for anyone who has upped their dose like you or I have. This is exactly what addiction is and feels like. It feels like you have two personalities, yeah? One of you (THE REAL YOU) wants desperately to stop taking these pills, and get back to what real life is supposed to be, and experience genuine joy and emotion again. The other (THE ADDICT YOU) is terrified of what life would be like if the supply stopped coming. If you mean quitting. There is likely only one way. Whoever your doctor is. Tell them what is going on and have them cut you off. It's plain and simple the best way. Though the inner addict will fight you every step of the way and try to talk you out of it every time, I believe it is the only way to stop for good. I delayed doing this for far too long and tried to quit with my own willpower, but I just kept going back to it. I let my addiction get much more severe and do a lot more lasting damage before I finally swallowed my pride and confessed my addiction. Haven't taken a pill since. There have been certain times where It's been REALLY hard but I don't question the decision in the slightest. If you want to quit, take the step and cut yourself off. It's that simple! Welcome to the forum! Post lots and let us know how you are doing, no matter what you decide we are still here to help.

tears Just read "dear John" and was crying like a baby for the last 40 pages of it, LOL made me sad but happy too - one of those faith in humanity moments don't judge me

aww what happened to your cat?

OMG Congratulations CarpeDiem! Such a wonderful decision you've made. It sounds like you've been working hard on this for some time already. I'm so happy for you that you are now in a position to take that final and wonderful step! Welcome to the boards!

This was true for me too, but not everyone experiences this quick of an adaptation (in fact I think it lasts longer for people who were daily users for an extended period of time). There are many factors that will affect this - age, duration of use, dosage, nutrition before quitting, nutrition after quitting, exercise.

What you are describing is completely normal. Everyone goes through it and that is exactly the reason quitting is so hard. I can only mirror everyone else's thoughts. Take a friday/monday off if you can, and go cold turkey over a 4-day weekend and just get through it. Rip the bandaid off it will be much easier in the long run (in my opinion).

It's your choice of course. I won't tell you what to do. However, it seems you have an opportunity to stop the train now before it spins wildly out of control. I can't tell you what I would give to be able to go back and change my behavior during that stage.

Within a few days, your resolve to stop permanently may be significantly diminished. I highly recommend acting quickly on that. In any event, congratulations on your decision and welcome to the first day of your journey of meeting the real you!

your own sentence probably answers that question in a deep way We romanticize the drug. And at least to me, that means we over-exaggerate to ourselves how great it was when we were on it, and we "selectively forget" all the pain it caused (particularly the withdrawals from coming off of it). And that is just our brains natural way of looking back on the past. We always look back on the past with nostalgia, remembering things better than they actually were (this in itself is not a bad thing). But when you couple it with the powerful draw of an addictive substance, you get a recipe for relapse. *raises glass* Amen But now we know better! Let's act differently.

Just go with it, it will bring you some measure of happiness which will make this journey somewhat bearable. Lots of food/sleep, as much of the latter as you can fit into your schedule!

I like the analogy of a bird flying into a fan with closed eyes. The exhilarating feeling of flying super fast, but in reality not moving an inch. It's that exhilarating feeling that we have to learn to live without. But I think we move much further off of adderall than on it! Keep it up you are doing awesome!

No, no, and NO. It breaks my heart to read your words like that. That is your addiction talking to you. It beats you down to the point where you feel like you are worth nothing without the pills. But it is a LIE. (Sorry I'm obsessed with highlighting text) I don't think it could possibly be said better than this! The key to unlocking freedom is to cut yourself off by telling your doctor what is going on. It read your log in the original post about how you were feeling and I sympathize with you heavily; it sounds awful. But I second what AlwaysAwesome said, you didn't give it enough time. It does get better but unfortunately it gets worse first.

relief

seized - not sure what I did but I can feel it coming on my back is gonna be screwed up for the next few days #oldmanproblems Edit: Tigerbalm, thats my new one-word (unless it counts as two)

After every crash...