Doge

Honestly nobody could be sure without being ( A ) being a doctor, and ( B ) giving you a health exam in person but from what you describe I think your main battle will be to overcome the addiction (like every single one of us here, don't worry we can relate to that!) but as for long term health you're young and active - your body can do miracles for you if you just let your brain rest and heal. You're probably in a better situation than MANY of us were when we first decided to quit. Welcome to the forum! Let us know how we can help.

Awww. That's a sad story. I like your positive outlook though.

Welcome to the forum! There is nothing wrong with being strategic about your timing and planning out your quit.

"Maybe that teacher was jealous of you and was trying to sabotage you. Don't let him do it anymore!" +1 This sort of thing happens between teacher and pupil quite often actually.

Rooting for you!

I also used adderall to reinvigorate my passion for playing music. In some ways, any activities you do on adderall are "taken" from you in some sense. But I really feel that they can be reclaimed in time. One thing I found really helpful was to start with a new instrument; one that you have never played while on adderall. I'm pretty early on in the recovery process myself, so take that with a grain of salt.

Don't condemn yourself or be ashamed. Adderall is extremely powerful. There's always tomorrow. By the way, please come back to chat if you want to vent; I'm listening! EDIT: I typed the above before reading your whole story. Now I have read it in full. I'm sorry to hear about your father and teacher. It's really tragic that people's words can have such power to damage someone else's self-esteem. The way you describe the compelling effects of adderall is all to real. You say you quit for almost a whole year? That's impressive to me. I've yet to be able to stay clean that long.

I was on Adderall XR and Dexedrine XR. I believe that neither of them were generic. I could never get enough.

OK That's good to hear. I hope they go away soon!

ok now im mad

I only experienced mild twitching in my eyes and fingers, which has almost completely stopped now. (though randomly it flares up from time to time, but really mild and really rare). I don't know if you're experiencing a more intense version of the same thing, or if it's something different. Especially since you say you have a history of suffering from seizures, maybe it could be something else that you may have just not noticed when you were high on adderall? I dunno, but I don't think you shoud be too quick to just write the symptoms off as withdrawal, it might be worth visiting a doctor?

I can't stand the underwoods. They are vipers, even if charming. I think I really like the show because of the addicts in them. Doug, the alcoholic and Peter who is addicted to alcohol and cocaine. Watching their stories unfold is interesting. I really feel intense empathy towards them and their pain. I think it's no stretch to make the connection with my own struggles. It's kind of funny; to be honest I don't think the show is that good, but I keep watching mainly because I really am interested in Doug as a character.

I forgot to mention. Congrats on 5 months! That's amazing!

Most importantly, let me assure you that soon enough you WILL DO stuff. Just give your body time to rest right now that is what matters most right now.

Disclaimer: I am honestly a bad influence in the snack department. I may have overdone it, but I don't regret it.

I'm so glad you joined us!! You are a fantastic person. You don't sound crazy. Just hang in there and try to relax. Try to just forget about DOING Shit for a while and just BE. Every day you go without giving in to those little piece of shit pills is a HUGE victory and you should celebrate it (with a snack!).

I feel like my working vocabulary has been chopped in half. Amen brother. I do notice improvements over time, but I'm still not back to normal. I do, however, have faith that I will eventually return to my normal self. As for the voices, I don't know when they will go away. I'm sorry to tell you that. All I can do is reaffirm what you already know: they will never go away if you go back to the pills. Please don't do it. Things can only get better from here: remember that always!

Thanks Cassie! I've been meaning to check out bloodlines but i hadn't heard of the others before. I will put them on my list!

Shows I really enjoyed on (Canadian) Netflix: House of Cards Boss* Hemlock Grove The Fall Camelot Dexter The 100* Arrested Development The Office* Downtown Abbey Once upon a time Community* Marco Polo* Derek* Rescue Me Trailer Park Boys Breaking Bad* Orange is the new Black* * - my personal favorites Some of these aren't available in the US (though the US selection is far superior if you ask me). Checkout this addon if you want to access other regions (I'm amazed at what Mexico has!) http://hola.org/

I'll go back and edit the list as I think of more. There are plenty I didn't mention.

Shows I really enjoyed on (Canadian) Netflix: House of Cards Boss* Hemlock Grove The Fall Camelot Dexter The 100* Arrested Development The Office* Downtown Abbey Once upon a time Community* Marco Polo* Derek* Rescue Me Trailer Park Boys Breaking Bad* * - my personal favorites Some of these aren't available in the US (though the US selection is far superior if you ask me). Checkout this addon if you want to access other regions (I'm amazed at what Mexico has!) http://hola.org/ Not on netflix, but if you are comfortable obtaining tv shows by "other means" these are AMAZING shows: Game of Thrones (obviously!) The Wire (my favorite show of all time) Shameless (this is a guilty pleasure of mine) I probably watched all of these during recovery, since I went through the binge/crash/recover cycle every month or so for the last 2 years. I was a pro at recoverying hahaha (it's not really funny but what else can I do now but laugh?). Happy resting!

A couple of ideas to help get the positivity juices flowing as soon as possible. Sorry if I am pushing these exercises too heavily but I LOVE them and they helped me so much in initial recovery. 1) Every time you get up, do a stretch routine. I personally do these 3 times a day and it helps my back feel great. And the pulling helps your grip strength a lot, which is important for helping your body *feel* strong. http://www.easyvigour.net.nz/fitness/pilatessketches/HamStrngStre2.gif People use towels or rubber bands but I find that an old pair of jeans works best. 2) Try those wall-pushups I mentioned before. They are a great way to get your blood flowing again naturally, and start getting your strength back. http://www.fitnesstipoftheday.net/fittip/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/wall-pushups.jpg They are harder than they look! You can focus on keeping your back perfectly straight, which is a good way to help those inner balancing muscles get stronger again. If you are anything like me, you spent a lot of time sitting in a chair hunched over a desk with horrible posture. This is a great way to start undoing that damage. Do them every day until you can do three sets of 20. Then switch to once every 2 days until you can do 3 sets of 40. 3) Jump back into bed and turn the TV back on and resume snacking. You'll probably have a nice little head rush (A NATURAL ONE ) to make watching TV feel better, and then the calories from your snacks will at least partially be channeled towards your muscles getting stronger. I emphasize these two things in particular because they worked SO WELL for me during those early days where I just didn't want to do ANYTHING, not even the things I enjoyed.

So how are you doing Bev? Did you manage to resist those little bastards? Is this day 2 for you? Keep us updated in the 30-day challenge thread. It's a great way to get constant encouragement and validation in your journey! http://forum.quittingadderall.com/topic/1742-the-30-day-challenge-reloaded-welcome-all/page-24 Also tickers are fun.

Watching any good TV shows while you rest? I'm hooked on House of Cards right now.

Yeah I remember day 1 crash here, I've had so many cravings and tried so hard to get more at times. I'm glad I was cut off, its so easy to forget what it was like to be spending an entire day typing a post here in tears half the time. Freedom feels so good. Keep posting about it to remind us all!