Doge

Well, Day 30 confirmed. I still feel like I'm a ticking time bomb sometimes. i hope I can keep this up, and if I can it's only because of you guys. Thanks all.

Day 28 confirmed (and month 1 according to my ticker since i started inFebruary? LOL) Better day than yesterday by far.

puppies http://i.imgur.com/9TA7rIA.gif

Went for a refreshing shower and an evening walk and indulged in an evening of fine dining at Denny's. Getting away from the internet boosted productivity dramatically. Outlook significantly improved with fresh air. Walks are amazing. Day 27 coming to a close and essentially confirmed.

I don't know what I expected from this video. But by around the 28 minute mark I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

Thank you for your support. I specifically chose the turtle because it feels like it's taking forever. I am currently going through the week from hell and it is far from over. (The week (as in Monday to Friday) is 80% over but I'm far below 50% completion of what I needed to accomplish by Saturday. Tonight and tomorrow is going to be very hard. I've been fantasizing all day about popping a pill (but alas I don't have any...) I hope things will be better after this weekend, but I honestly feel like I'm just a ticking time bomb, and that it's just a matter of time before I break down and refill. I hope that if I can just make it past the two month mark I will start to feel like I have my head above water and will be looking forward rather than backwards. I feel like for some reason I had a week or so where it was really easy to be positive so I wasn't visiting this site much for a while. Sorry this is probably not the right thread for this; I just needed to bitch and moan for a bit.

Day 26 confirmed. Thanks so much Justin. It helps to think of all you guys and your success. Im some ways it's getting harder. I was thinking about adderall a LOT yesterday, and spent probably at least an hour plotting ways to get my hands on some. The bottom line is I have no access so it can't happen thankfully. All I know is I'm way happier not on it. But when those cravings hit... man... it's like I don't have a brain anymore. Knowing that I am accountable to you guys helps me so much. I would hate to think of you guys having wasted all that energy trying to encourage me just so I can willingly throw it all away and fail again.

Yeah as far as the doctors are concerned it takes "a few weeks" to get off of the drug and then everything should be back to normal.

Day 23 confirmed. My sleeping pattern is pretty much returned to normal (with the help of melatonin). More importantly, I usually wake up naturally after between 6-8 hours sleep. First 30 seconds or so right after I walk out my door each morning is pure bliss. Breathing in the cold fresh air just does something for me I guess. Right after that I'll begin thinking about adderall, how it would make this even *MORE* awesome..... I'm not REALLY addicted, not anymore...... maybe in a couple more weeks I can get some more..... You guys probably know how this goes. Anyway things are noticeably better than a week ago. Kind of getting back to my old self again.

Great job! Are you quitting or just taking a break? Naps are great. Like a long lost friend.

sick ( :< )

Really sad about your childhood experience. Liltex already said above what I was thinking. I can relate to the whole "DO YOUR HOMEWORK AT THE LIVING ROOM TABLE WHERE WE CAN SEE YOU AND YOU WONT BE DISTRACTED BY VIDEO GAMES" (and then try to do homework while your parents are yelling across the house at each other and the TV/radio is blaring. So happy that you found a better position to be in. Hope you post back soon. Keep us updated!

Awesome to hear! That's a good way to put it. It's totally parallel to a bad relationship partner that you know is destructive to you.

Day 19 confirmed.

I was having huge cravings today. Hardly slept last night, feeling low energy, grumpy, all around crappy day. Then I was hit with a little wave of happy for no reason this afternoon, even though I'm still tired. I really think the really intense cravings (like where you start to feel your freedom of choice and true intentions fighting to stay in the driver's seat) are sign of something good to come after. I hope I can remember that next time I have a shitty day.

Day 16 confirmed.

watching any good TV?

Day 14 and week 2 confirmed!

Awesome! Throwing out pills is something I was never able to do. Welcome to the club!

How did it go?

Day 13 confirmed.

Day 12 confirmed.

Day 11 confirmed.

Oh man I used for 2.5 years and I can TOTALLY relate to this.

If you fight the urge to lie around and just get up and go for that walk, you will be much happier for it. Walking is a great way to stay moving that doesn't put much stress on yourself. Fortunately the adderall withdrawal symptoms are not so unbearable. Withdrawals are definitely not what compell me to take more, but rather the psychological desire which I cannot explain (people call this addiction I guess). An interesting quote from one of the articles on this site that I just found today: "But you, dear reader and former Adderall taker…you know that amphetamines are different from other drugs. They have a different draw. A different kind of person that uses them. People don’t use amphetamines to destroy themselves; they use them in a misguided attempt to save themselves."