Doge

Day 10 confirmed.

So happy for you bro! "Relapsey feelings" are usually the sign of a plateau that is about to be broken through. More noticeable improvements to come I say!

So glad you are joining us! You can succeed!

Thanks man! Day 8 confirmed.

I remember reading this before and but reading it now I think I was in stage 6. It's pretty scary looking at the bigger picture like that. Stage 1 duration was shockingly correct for me back then I thought I was being very careful, but it didn't matter.

Day 7 and week 1 confirmed!

Haha, never even clued into that!

Sorry for this thread. Had something to share but I realize I'm not ready. All is well.

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Mike: It sounds like the real you wants to quit. It might be the case that you never would have started the business if not for adderall. What matters most is what you do now. If you think you need you quit you probably will be way better off if you listen to this voice. Those pills are like a love potion (one of the articles on this site expresses that beautifully) they make you love things you wouldn't normally love (maybe even hate?). Either you will learn to truly and genuinely love what you do, or you will get that final push to go look for what you really DO want. Stick around you can do it!

Zerokewl is a Lannister!

Nice to hear from you man, I'm sorry you're hating it though. Glad you're hanging in there, 1 month is just around the corner!

Yeah I sounded overly optimistic with "No matter what I know I can still do awesome without it." I don't mean to say that I am feeling awesome (or even doing very awesome right now). I meant sticking it out for the long game. Trying to to a little bit better each month than the one before. I feel like adderall just bypasses the whole growth factor and shoots you up to a solid 6 without having to develop yourself to get there. In the long run, I'd rather be a 3/10 productivity wise now but hold on to hope that one day I can be a 7. What I meant to say is "No matter what I know I can eventually be awesome without it." And by "know" I mean "hope", etc. .. and all that jazz.

I think honestly it probably was diminished permanently somewhat. But I choose not to think about that. Instead I think about it like this: My FULL potential was probably diminished. But I doubt many of us really do ever fully achieve our full potential. No matter what I know I can still do awesome without it. I probably could have been more awesome if I never touched the stuff, but that's no longer an option. And dwelling on it is not productive so I have to make a conscious choice not to.

Day 6 confirmed

In my experience, creativity and problem solving skills are in stronger when NOT using adderall. But the mental endurance to keep going during frustration and stubbornly continue through adversity obviously is aided by the drug. If you like coding and mathematics while using adderall, you probably like it naturally as well. You just can't do it for as long in one sitting. But that's a good thing anyway.

Haven't heard from you in a little while, how are you doing?

Thanks for the support, there will be some serious cheese and cracker binging tonight.

Today was when the romanticizing really began. (The last two times I sought refills were both on Thursdays, and my thursday workday stands out as significantly different than my other days, so building a habit/trigger happened pretty quickly.) Fortunately I was able to put the thoughts from my mind without too much dwelling on the past. It makes things a lot simpler because I have zero access to getting any more pills now. Really glad I surrendered my pride and came clean.

I hear that though. I am fat.

It's all water weight in the beginning. Day 5 confirmed! Can't wait until that turtle is is past the 4 month mark and I can actually have some slight faith in myself not to be dumb.

Day 4 confirmed! You know what is delicious but shouldn't be resulting in weight gain: greek salad. nom nom

lazy

Adderall is the most viciously addictive of things I ever tried, and I don't think trying marijuana increased my chances of trying it. But I do believe that Adderall could be a dangerous gateway drug, when I stuck waiting for refills, I definitely toyed with the thought of seeking out harder stuff. Fortunately those ideas never progressed any further than ideas. For me it definitely could have been a horribly disastrous gateway drug.

a