Jon

I don't have any Adderall friends or acquaintances, but I'll bet I could pick one out in a crowd. I remember looking into the mirror and my eyes were like a reptile's eyes staring back at me soullessly. It is believed that addiction lies at the center of the human brain, known as the reptilian brain. It is the most primitive part of the brain.

One hot afternoon during the era in which you’ve gotten yourself ridiculously tangled up with Adderall (or Adderall recovery) you will be riding the bus and thinking what a worthless piece of crap you are when a little girl will get on the bus holding the strings of two purple balloons. She’ll offer you one of the balloons, but you won’t take it because you believe you no longer have a right to such tiny beautiful things. You’re wrong. You do. by Cheryl Strayed (aka Dear Sugar) So many tiny, beautiful, things come our way every day. I thought would be nice if we could share them with each other…. because we deserve them. The fall foliage is beautiful right now in northern Delaware. I am located in the Piedmont, the foothills of the Appalachians. Luckily, I have an office at work with large windows with a view of trees and the eastern sky. The golden light at day’s end changes constantly, playing like music on the landscape. A majestic American Basswood is in complete shadow in the foreground. The contrast is stimulating. The wind blows, the leaves sparkle with movement and the sky grows bluer into twilight and then suddenly the show is over and another begins. The stars begin come out.

Herbal tea is great. I love chamomile tea. It has a nice relaxing affect. I like the Stash brand of herbal teas. Amazon has them. I try to balance my PH to Alkaline. Most "modern" foods we eat turn to ACID in the stomach. By adding a teaspoon of vinegar in a glass of water every day you can help switch your PH to alkaline. I use Bragg, Organic Apple Cider Vinegar with The 'Mother', Raw-. It only costs $3.50 for 16 ounces. I have gotten so used to it that I add some to all my water containers. I notice a difference and have developed a taste for it, if you can believe it. No more gastric reflux is the most obvious benefit. Keeping an alkaline PH is supposed to have many health values. Research it. You will be surprised by what you find. I use the L-Tyrosine but it only works for me when I haven't slept for days, due to insomnia, and my body is utterly exhausted. That is in line with studies too, but lots of people on this site recommend it for it's anti-depressant virtues. It is also recommended to take with B-Complex and all on an empty stomach. That part is important. I wouldn't dump the dollar store vitamins unless they have a binding agent you can't tolorate. I think the fish oil would take top priority. I am not aware of anything natural that will get your dopamine back to normal levels other then the passage of time. DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone) is a hormone produced by your body's adrenal glands. These are glands just above your kidneys. Claims say that it can help build your adrenal gland, improve energy, mood and memory. I take a small amount of it , but the claims haven't been substantiated. I'm sorry to say that feeling like a zombie after quitting a powerful drug like Adderall is considered normal. I still feel that way for the first half of my day or longer, but I'm 59 years old...I will be in December. I think younger folks have a much faster recovery. I am amazed by the exercise routines that are picked up almost immediately after quitting!!! I walk and hike when I can, because I enjoy it, but you won't find me at any club lifting weights or doing crunches. When I start feeling more natural energy, I want to look into yoga. I have done some already and I really like it. Energy drinks worked for me initially, but have little or no effect now at 4 months. I had to give up coffee. That was a bit of a shake up for me! I take caffene pills now. 2 100mg pills a day in the AM. I was juicing greens before quitting, but haven't juiced since I quit. I haven't had the time or energy. I am required to work a lot of overtime. I worked 65 hours this week, for example. I plan to start organic juicing again when conditions are better for me because I believe in it. In my opinion, time and quality sleep are the best supplements for recovery. Add exercise if you can muster it and eat sensibly. It appears like there is no end to talking about health and nutrition (Smiling).

I just realized that this topic is for everyone! Thank you Kori for getting it started. Loving ourselves is such an important part of the recovery process. I accept myself as I am today; tired, lazy and unshaven. It's okay. It's not permanent. I am recovering from addiction and discovering my true self in the process. I feel the power of gradual progress. Today is a good day because I am alive and I love who I am.

Kori, Yes quality matters, so the dollar store is probably out. Especially for the fish oil—quality matters. Always check the expiration date on fish oil capsules. They go rancid rather quickly, which you can smell by cutting one open. I use a double encapsulated fish oil capsule because the fish smell repeats on me if I use the regular capsules. They are a Costco variety (Kirkland is Costco's brand name). I also use a Shaklee brand protein drink with Almond milk or organic rice or soy milk, but you can mix it with water too, if you are concerned about calories. The almond milk is only 60 calories per cup and rice milk is less than that. I believe that protein is an important part of rebuilding our brain function or any human cell, so I make sure I get protein from a shake in case I am not eating meat on any given day. My diet is mostly vegetarian. I don't think you can over do it with taking too many vitamins, especially during recovery, but I would make my selection based on education or trial and error. I hope this helps you a little.

I'm proud of you Lunax. You are doing so well and your outlook is settled in the right places; gratitude and enjoying the small, tiny, beautiful things in life. You are an inspiration. Thank you.

I stopped rather spontaneously too. I used daily for 12 years. I never missed a day. I found this website and took Mike up on a suggestion—take a vacation day. I did, and to my surprise, I survived. The following Saturday I started my quit. It has been 4 months. I'm still in the fatigue stage, but it is improving slowly. It's funny how the windows for quitting present themselves. I like to call them choice points, which is a term used in meditation practice. When they come, we are wise to jump on the opportunity. I am glad you overcame your shame, something we all share, and decided to start your life over again. I think the accountability is what holds us all together. I love the welcome back Kotter song. It's so warm and fuzzy. Welcome back.

No. I had to really want it. I had to take action to support it. I had to treat it like my life depended on it.

Congratulations on your 30 days FW. You are on to helping so many others. Great work!

Searchingsoul, It is heartbreaking to read your story of relapse after achieving so much, but you have the ability to make a STRONG comeback! The strength relapse buys us is the experience of how quickly we are right back to our regular intake, and often more, of this nasty chemical. Your physical condition is sending up red flares for you to stop. Scratch out some time for yourself for the initial sleepfest and plan your quit. You have an entire quitting arsenal at the ready to assist in any way we can, but the inside work must be done by you. You have to want it more than anything else on the planet. Let us know how you want to proceed.

Congratulations Cassie! You will be off and flying on your own wings, not Adderall's wings. It's not surprising that the drug still has a voice, but that's addiction. I'm sure you will do spectacularly! I picture you selling medical devices for some reason. They tend to be complex and expensive. You can use your gift for taking complex mechanisms and converting the complexity to practical talk. Your customers will love you for being you.

I experienced twitching muscles in my thigh, back and forearm after quitting (4 months today). They all went away after about 24 hours. They may continue to occur in various muscle groups at times for longer than one month, but they should eventually go away, like mine did at some point. I know, it's weird, but Adderall affects everything in our minds and bodies.

This is a great achievement—one month clean! It's amazing how addictive Adderall is. It seems always to lead to abuse of duration or quantity over time. I think you are one of the lucky ones to get out before hitting a low bottom. I wish you all the success that comes with recovery. I believe that if you stay with sobriety, you will mend your broken relationships. Good job on doing your own research and building your own quit. Please keep us posted on your progress. Use the forum community for addressing problems and concerns that may arise. We are happy to have you.

That is a keen insight Cassie. Good work. I knew there was something wrong with the logic in the SMART question, but I couldn't put my finger on it. No offense Z. Just for the record, modafinil offers powerful euphoria initially. Yes, it is less intense than Adderall's euphoria...in a really nice way. If you are anthing like me, a pill popper, you just want to take more... like taking more Adderall. But when you chase the euphoria and energy in this pill you are inviting the devil into your head (incert Dr. Evil laugh: Muahahahha). Ok, that's just my experience.

Cassie, The weight loss analogy is the best addiction analogy I've come across. It helps me understand my schedule for recovery. At the very least, it puts my recovery in an annual time frame rather than a monthly timeframe and eases up on my self-expectations for improvement. I think I'll be able to tolerate my moaning and groaning with a little more self love now that I am framing it up this way. I admire the clarity and compassion in your writing. Thank you for this post and all of the support you consistently give to us at quittingAdderall.

From Wikipedia: Addictive Potential: A National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) study highlighted "the need for heightened awareness for potential abuse of and dependence on modafinil in vulnerable populations" due to the drug's effect on dopamine in the brain's reward center. My personal experience with this drug was horrible. I found myself chasing the "high" and wound up in neurotransmitter Hell. I don't recommend it for anyone who is, or was, addicted to Adderall or speed of any kind.

PERFORMANCE HIGH — a three-part Log series on the use and abuse of stimulants like Adderall. I found this article to be worth the read. I discovered several facts that I was previously unaware of like, Adderall is only legal in the US, Canada and a few European countries like Britain. I thought the US pushed this stuff all over the world. It was refreshing to learn that most of the world has better sense than to legitimize stimulants. At least there is still a debate going on about the use of stimulants for ADHD. Abuse on college campuses is at the debate too. http://www.lclog.org/en/21/news/268/Performance-High-Rethinking-the-ADHD-problem.htm

Hi FALCON, I'm excited to see you back. I was hoping that you were still successful with quitting Adderall and I am glad to know for sure that you are. I apologize for dumping on you as you return to the site Falcon. I was having a freakout day yesterday, I guess. I deleted my previous post because it seemed discourteous to jump on you for advise on your return announcement. Everyday is a roller coaster for me and maybe for you too. You have a good voice for support. I am glad to see you are back!

Happy Thanksgiving Z. I hope you are able to enjoy it with your family.

Cassie, I really like the digital Dharma site. Thank you. Jon

Ally, There are some people on the thread "30 day challange" who are close to your DAY 36 mark. You're off to a great start! Having a buddy close to your quit time will be a strong addition to your overall support. I hope it works out for you.

Hi Kev, Glad to learn of your success and noticing things that you haven't felt in a long while. I don't know much about Niacin except that it is used to increase the flow of blood and one side effect is facial flushing (red face). I have no knowledge how Niacin nteracts with your other meds....and it could, so you better check. You are doing great! Stick with it and keep noticing.

Chara, Welcome to the forums for quitting Adderall. You are in the right place for quitting and staying quit. It will require a strong resolve to go through the process. Stay close to the forums, read as much as you can here and participate in the conversations. Congratulations on one week clean! That is fantastic, down from 70mgs a day!

Happy news from Freedom's Wings and Lunax. Keep up with the moving forward work! You are making a believer out of me.

P, Welcome. I am so sorry to learn of all the woes that have beset you. I agree with 1Bad completely in the previous post. I have some very uncomfortable tummy issues; very tender to touch, even when wearing loose sweat pants. Many of the symptoms you describe initially in your post could be related to Adderall and in my experience I have had body aches and pains, headaches, weight loss, digestive problems, weakness, extreme lightheadedness and extreme fatigue while on Adderall and while coming off Adderall. I hate the idea that you have to do battle with Adderall cessation while working to solve seemingly unrelated problems like hematuria and mysterious infections. I'm not a doctor but, my guess is that they are unrelated. I think it would be helpful to take Adderall out of your medical picture to help solve what could be the underlying issues. There are terrible costs of Adderall withdrawal and they are all paid at the end of your use, unlike other drugs, where you can pay as you go. At this point in your life, I think your adhd is a lower rung on the ladder of the health issues you are struggling with. Ideally, a therapist who deals with addiction could advise you on how to approach your quit. Weaning will be difficult, but will allow you to get your day started for a few hours, then you will start to feel terrible for the remainder of the day. I weaned down from 60-70mgs a day to 10-15mgs a day over the course of a few years and it was very unpleasant. I quit cold turkey shortly after finding this website. It has been extremely difficult but I wish I had quit cold turkey earlier because weaning is torture and it kept me in a losing game for at least 3 extra years. Timing a cold turkey quit is crucial to success. I hope I have helped you a little. I will keep you in my prayers too.