Doge

Shambo I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so trapped right now. Just don't forget it's not too late

take between 10 and 30mg to get started, work for about 1-2 hours, take a "break" to play some computer games alone in my room while I took another 10mg or so every 3-4 hours, eventually I'd run out and crash and realize that as many as two calendar days had gone by and i was playing games the whole time. then crash, shower, cry a little, and then watch TV like a zombie for another 6-14 hours until I could sleep. then lie around in bed for 2 days gathering some steam back, and kind of pull my life together for about 2 weeks then get some more pills and start over.

personally I felt brainfog for about 2 weeks typically, then it started to clear up (for the next two weeks until I would re-supply and restart the binge cycle) after that it keeps getting better (though not necessarily in a linear fashion) keep sleeping whenever you feel like it and can afford to. i believe it will only speed up the recovery

I'm sorry but I have to say it anyway whether you like it or not. Congratulations on conquering the demon of adderall. You are a great role model. This may or may not be even slightly helpful, but for what it's worth: I realized a long time ago that I'm not the kind of person that can go to the pub and just enjoy a single pint of beer. If I go out with a friend for a beer, I can expect to leave around 12-1am with between 6-8 pints on my tab. On the bright side, this has certainly led to a lot of fun evenings in my 20s, but in general, my whole next day is ruined as a result. I haven't quit drinking entirely, but have come to terms with this realization and just drink very rarely (once every 2-3 months, or on special occasions), and am careful in what settings I allow myself to take the chance. I still go to pubs fairly often with friends but just indulge in food specials and appetizers instead, and just order water (I'm sure the servers hate me ).

been feeling pretty cruddy myself lately but nothing like depression from binge crashing, etc. here's to feeling cruddy sometimes! (instead of ALL THE TIME)

heh, i still use my PS2, but no networking capabilities on that system

that is so awesome. while you are in this state of strength, i highly recommend cutting yourself off by telling your doctor the truth. it's so hard to tell yourself no when the romanticizing/cravings begins (like probably impossible in my case)

congratulations alwaysawesome

Such an awesome success story! Congratulations on your accomplishment! Nice to have more inspiring tales!

Yeah I just went back and read it from the beginning. I have already started forgetting some of these things.

Your plan sounds rock solid man! keep posting and stay positive!

Glad you reached out! It sounds like there are many reasons you could use to justify continuing your usage, and supporting a family with a child and a newborn is amongst the most noble I could ever think of. But it sounds like you know you need to stop. I think you need to set up some time off of work for yourself to deal with the crash that will inevitably ensue. If this is going to be financially difficult, maybe some preparations involving reducing expenses will be in order first. The good news is that you are super young and you can make a full recovery from this drug relatively quick. But it will still be challenging to adapt to life without it. If you have always been using it consistently and not for partying or binging or whatever, then that would mean that quitting wont be an urgent issue of life/death. So you can use some time to prepare for a well thought-out quit. The bottom line is that you know you cannot be the father you want to be while jacked up on that shit. Good luck and extreme kudos to you for reaching out! You can beat this and change it all!

OMG I'm jealous <3

love stuff like this!

I've been feeling kinda like that too sometimes lately. the very thing I've put my whole life into isn't really sparking my passion right now. it's tempting to look towards a quick fix. before I say any more, congrats on 6 months clean thats amazing and inspiring! my approach is I'm going to ease myself off the path I'm on. Finish my program with minimal effort (i.e. just get the piece of paper so this all wasn't a waste) and then I'm going to go find my true passion. Remember what it felt like when adderall stole that from you in the first place! Remember why you quit in the first place! EDIT: I always try to be careful and only speak for me, but in this case I will dare to say that if you abused adderall in the past, in my judgement, there is almost no chance of going back to using it responsibly.

edited my post, in case it was a spoiler for someone. yeah i really enjoyed his storyline. sometimes shows do too good of a job of romanticizing addictive behaviour, but Bloodlines in particular shows a pretty accurate angle on Danny's addiction.

2 months is a huge milestone!! buy yourself something! or celebrate somehow you deserve it!!!

So glad you posted! I never had a prescription either, and like you I always binged. I know exactly what you mean by While I never quite made it up to those dosages, I wasn't much lower, and I had the whole thing down to a routine/ritual/whatever. I could cope really well with the crash and was really good at "walking the line" of barely holding my public life together while my private life was a path of self destruction. Greg's words are a sobering and chilling reality check. The good news is you are still so young! Your brain can do miracles given enough time. Please rest up and fill up with some calories and post back! We can make a plan to fix this and start whenever you're ready bro!

"adderall will never love you back" <--- so true but I would never admit it during those dark days Congrats on all your sober time!!!! You are doing great!

If that's the real reason you're not telling your doctor, please discard it and tell him! If it makes him slightly more hesitant to prescribe it to another patient (or at least more attentive to those he does prescribe it to) that's a good thing! Plus the risk of relapse if you don't tell him is extremely high! I can only really speak for myself but if I still had access I would have relapsed a long time ago during one of my weak days!

Good to hear about any downsides of something to be well informed. We should take them seriously (like most of us didn't when trying adderall LOL). I couldn't find anything bad about it though. Where did you see this AA?

Amen to that brother!

just finished it. its really good and has a really chilling and compelling plot line. the ending sets up really nice to have a great plot for the next season, assuming they make one.... I watch too much tv....

I'm gonna try it!

This is exactly what my experience was like. I was a binge user as well. I'd go through the hangover/quick recovery every month, only to resupply and begin the binge cycle all over again each month. Every time I'd swear never to do it again but then fast forward two weeks and it was like automatic for me to get more. I was powerless (or so I thought). Confessing my addiction to my supplier (be it a doctor or friend or whatever) was my only successful recourse. It was really hard to humble myself enough to do it but it was really that simple, and ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. The adderall will tell you not to do this, and try to make you afraid to admit it to others. Don't listen! The good news is you are very young and I'm willing to be that your body will be able to overcome this relatively quickly compared to others. Congratulations on your great life decision and welcome to the forum!